


Repeat :||

by BlackMageEljin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergent, Canon Universe, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mentions of canon character death, Pining, Slow Burn, a lot of introspection in the beginning, but SoXeha is still endgame, but also fluff, but mostly sexual tension and plot, or i think it counts as slow burn, sora being depressed, the Xehaqus shows up much more than initially intended in flashbacks and the like, the internal somewhat yandere like ramblings of xehanort, they get together eventually and thats not the end of the fic so idk, time loops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2020-09-24 05:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20353522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMageEljin/pseuds/BlackMageEljin
Summary: After experiencing the same events over and over, the youngest Xehanort finds himself drawn to the only other person who seems unaffected by the temporal causality. He thought he deserved to talk to Sora at least once- they would find themselves back at the beginning soon enough regardless.





	1. An Endless Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> Content for my boys has become scarce so I'm just gonna have to put on my big kid pants and make it myself. Enjoy everybody!
> 
> Also the working title for this fic was Homuranort.

How many times has he been here now?

“_Xehanort_!”

The youngest Xehanort looked at Sora across the way, in the empty street of a city that was too quiet. Sora was always the same, nothing he could do would change that.

He knew what he was 'supposed’ to say, but he was… tired. It wasn't like he wouldn't be back here…

“Your friends may be your power, but they are also your greatest weakness…” he said dryly.

“What's _that_ supposed to mean!?”

“Once again following your heart has lead to your demise. If you try to save them all this time, there will be nothing of you left.” The words were different, but in the end the sentiment was the same. Fate had sunk it's claws in deep, it was pointless to try and change anything substantial.

“Well what do you know! Maybe if you were so caught up in 'the darkness of being alone’ you'd know what I was like to want to help a friend!”

“Oh, but I do know.”

Sora jumped, looking both taken aback and confused. Xehanort regretted the bitter honestly, but in the end it wouldn't matter anyway, so…

Before Sora was able to find his voice Xehanort explained. “A man whose words are famous on many worlds once said 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.’ I disagree.”

Oh, did he disagree. How cruel was it to be given a taste of something he knew wouldn't last, to watch it all fall apart. No matter how sweet Eraqus’ promises were and would be when he returned to his own time, he would know deep down in his heart it wasn't meant to be. 

“If only that I were to have such an easy scapegoat for the blame as you.”

He had no one to blame but himself after all.

In the end Sora would always have the machine to rage against- an outside force to blame for tearing him and his friends apart. Xehanort seemed to push people away just by _being_. The heroes no doubt assumed the desperation for something like Kingdom Hearts is what had lead to the isolation, but they had reversed the cause and effect.

Even if it was something small, his ideals, his philosophy, the things he believed in, they were all just that little bit too different from the norm. No one would agree, no one thought the way he did. Even if he found someone willing to listen, willing to just _humor him_, like Eraqus, it wouldn't last…

Did people really expect him to just go through life like that, knowing if he was ever truly honest about his beliefs the people he cared about would leave him, and not become a villain?

Not all of his beliefs were as radical or extreme as Kingdom Hearts. Maybe if just one person had willing to really agree the darkness wasn't _all_ bad… and now the fact someone like Riku even _existed_ was a mockery of all the suffering he had and would endure up until this point. One might dare to hope that such a change would mean someone like him would finally have a place, have someone to talk to, have someone who would actually listen to him for once, but…

“...it's too late.”

He had already turned his back to Sora, he didn't see the pained expression that flit across the boy’s face.

***

_“Your time in this world is over, Sora.”_

Xehanort awoke on the floor of a violet sea. No matter how many times he had been to this place it would always be strange. It was as if the colours had been inverted- black clouds floating across a sickening red and purple sky. It was all mirrored perfectly by the still, unfaltering water. He did not know if it was simply a thin layer of liquid or a vast depth upon which he could somehow tread.

But he was certain the version of this place Sora had visited was much more pleasant.

“Ready to go again?”

Xehanort tilted his head back at the now familiar voice, the small purple cat coming into view faster than expected. He should have known better, the thing enjoyed looking…

“...Just a moment…” he answered, his eyes falling shut as he tried to bask in the stillness of this place. He was so tired…

“Sorry, you've got work to do.” The small nightmare replied. Xehanort sighed.

Once more, then...

***

Sora was too bright. He was an enigmatic creature that honestly baffled Xehanort. His smile alone shone so intensely that he was certain he would be burned if he got too close, and yet he himself had been the one to drag him down to the depths…

Was that light finally beginning to fade…?

He'd watched him for so long, so many times, watching the depression and despair bear down on Sora's heart. Sora's darkness had always been something vast and deep, his strength came from the uncanny ability to constantly just barely out run it. But it seemed as though it was finally starting to catch up.

Should he be happy?

Was it a victory?

It wasn't like they could use him as a vessel now… perhaps next time it would carry over early enough that they could…

It would be nice to talk to him as something other than an enemy.

But if that happened, he doubted he would smile like that any more…

“So what, you’re worried about _me _now!?”

How many times have they had this conversation?

How many times would he have to watch Sora break himself down…

“_Yes_.” Sora wouldn't remember, but he thought he deserved to tell him at least once.

Sora reared back in shock. “W-wait, what!?”

“What do you think either side has to gain from you dying in a place like this?” No, that wasn't exactly right. “How dare you have the audacity to throw yourself into the abyss here. If you were going to fall to darkness, you could have at least had the decency to do so with the rest of us.”

“I'm not throwing myself into the abyss!” Sora snapped back.

Xehanort's lips pressed into a thin line. Why had he expected anything short of Sora petulantly lashing out at him? Slowly he smirked.

“You already have.”

“What?”

“...Goodbye, Sora.”

“Wait-”

But Sora's protests would go unheard, Xehanort already disappeared into the corridor.

***

Xehanort fell to his knees, the darkness fading off of him in whisps as the signal of his defeat. He was calm and composed; the repetition had not yet quite worn on him like it eventually would.

“Xehanort…” Sora still sounded confused, his expression strained.

Xehanort smirked tiredly, looking up at the boy as he was addressed. “I am sorry if you were expecting something insightful. I don't have any sorts of waxing poetics as the others did.”

Sora looked taken aback, but after he just looked… sad. “I guess I'm just… also worried, even if I shouldn't be...” He said finally.

That actually caught Xehanort off guard, the shock showing even if for only a moment. That, he supposed, was what he had expected- had been hoping for- before… a tired smile managed to form. “I will go back to the beginning.” He reassured, even if it wasn't really something reassuring. More seriously he added “...you should be worried about yourself, Sora…”

And with that, he faded.

***

Xehanort had become attached to Sora. This was because he was the only constant in the repeating loop they had found themselves in… or perhaps more accurately the only _non_ constant.

He was certain Sora was the same as him.

Even if Sora didn't retain his memories of the previous iterations Xehanort could see what the power of waking really was, how even Sora himself did not even realize it was being abused. He knew each loop it was the same Sora, because even if those memories were lost and buried Sora would always be the only one who acted _different_. Who would change the pattern. Of course, those changes would ripple out, and eventually the actions of others would change as per the rules of the butterfly effect, but they would always start with Sora.

It was like their own private hell.

Perhaps he should blame Sora for being stuck here, hate the boy even, but it would be too hypocritical. The strain on Time was just as much his fault as Sora’s after all.

“You're getting sloppy.”

Xehanort did not move from the floor of the darker Final World as he addressed the small nightmare. “I have to do something to entertain myself. Else I lose even more sanity…” he joked dryly.

The chirithy huffed. “At this rate the one that sticks will be far from ideal, you know. What would you have done if it had been this time?”

Xehanort hummed quietly. Perhaps if this had been the last loop he would have been granted a chance to sit down and talk to Sora, but then again… he wasn't sure he would be able to handle it now, the idea of only having one chance to say something had become so foreign…

He wanted to go back to Eraqus, back to happier, simpler days, but even that wasn't something he could 'go back’ to. The memories and knowledge of his dearest friend’s murder at his own hands was already etched into his heart. Not even someone like Naminé could take it away now, it would always haunt them…

_He was so tired…_

“You can't rest yet.”

Xehanort opened his eyes, not even having realized he had closed them.

_Once more_.

***

“All that galavanting through the sleeping world's, and yet you learned nothing.”

Sora opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated. He couldn't put his finger on why, but something… wasn't right.

“It's… not that I didn't learn. I know it's reckless, but… I still have to save my friends.” Sora explained, sounding more like he was explaining it to himself than to the boy standing across from him. He raised his gaze from the ground to look at Xehanort with determination. “And you understand that right? You had friends too! No one is completely alone…”

Xehanort's mouth was left hanging just slightly agape. Sora had… actually remembered. Not consciously, but Sora being Sora was still able to respond to those shattered threads in his heart, despite not being able to truly comprehend them at all… 

“You're right.” He agreed simply. He chanced walking closer than he had before, and while Sora remained guarded he didn't draw his weapon.

“...but Sora, you're being selfish.”

“What!?” Sora sputtered, clearly taking offense.

Xehanort shook his head and continued. “You are doing this because you could not bare the thought of going on without them. Do you really think they will want to have to go on without you?”

The understanding dawned in Sora's eyes as he looked down guiltily. Suddenly the situation felt like some unsolvable puzzle, like no matter what they did they would lose something. His fists tightened by his sides and he looked up at Xehanort with determination. “Then I'll just have to be sure I make it out too!”

The expression Xehanort turned to Sora might have been described as pity from an onlooker, but it was something far more sincere than that. Sora had far less control of the situation than he was willing to admit- he'd already paid the price for saving his friends, he wouldn't be 'making it out’ of anything… though he wasn't foolish enough to assume this was due to Sora's _ignorance_, no, he would give Sora more credit than that, because…

“You and I have far more in common than I am sure either of us would care to admit.” He said with a small bitter smile. Sora looked at him confused but honestly intrigued- surprisingly not looking offended by being compared to someone like Xehanort at all, “Bottling up your emotions and putting on a front. A determination that to others may be mistaken for optimism, but you and I both know better than that. Our stubbornness is routed in self delusion and the inability to let go.”

Sora just looked... sad. He asked a question he already knew the answer to. “If you know that, then why are you still doing all this?”

“Why are you?” Xehanort parroted with a shrug.

Sora didn't answer, realizing that _that_ argument was pointless. Instead he asked “Were you not able to save your friends?” Sora knew Xehanort's motivations were more complicated and less sympathetic than this, but if he could simplify it down to something he could empathize with, then maybe…

Xehanort hesitated, but found himself compelled to answer honestly. “...everything bad that happened to him, in the end… was all my own fault.” There was far more there if Sora chose to read between the lines, but Xehanort was counting on the fact he knew Sora wouldn't.

Sora found himself able to understand that all too well. Surely if he had been stronger, none of his friends would have been hurt in the first place… it wasn't as similar to Xehanort's situation as he was letting himself believe, but the depression and despair had latched onto the idea, using it to drag him down. Without realizing it, Sora began to cry. Not the screaming sob he had before in the badlands, only quiet sniffles as the tears streaked down his face.

Xehanort's heart hurt at the sight. It was a strange feeling, not born out of something as pragmatic as empathy for Sora's tears, but the twisted comfort at the idea Sora might have been crying _for him. _Without thinking he reached out to wipe the tears away.

Sora started, jumping back and half falling into a defensive stance. In the end, Xehanort was still the enemy, it seemed.

Xehanort curled the hand that had been left hanging awkwardly in the air over his heart. Just like that the illusion had been shattered. Sora may have stopped to listen this one time, but it didn't change anything- as soon as they left this world they would both return to a fight to the death. Just what had he been hoping to accomplish…?

Nothing, he supposed. In a world with no real future or past, what choice did he have but to live in the moment? Nothing he did would have a lasting effect, the only point in doing anything would be for the sake of the experience itself.

His hand tightened over his heart. “I am glad I was able to speak candidly with you, Sora, even if only once.” With that he turned to leave.

“Wait!”

This time Xehanort did, pausing in front of the dark corridor and looking at Sora over his shoulder.

Sora floundered for words, having very much not thought this far ahead. Finally he said. “...me too.”

Xehanort smiled.

***

Xehanort awoke in the final world this time with a small smile. He and Sora had still had to fight as always, but he decided he wouldn't let that take away what had honestly been the first nice thing to happen to him in a very long time. It had been bittersweet, but it was certainly better than the same draining repetition…

“That was way out of line.” Chirithy scolded. But Xehanort seemed fairly unfazed.

“I'm sure.”

The cat sighed. “It's pointless.”

Xehanort hummed in agreement. “It is. As is everything else. And if everything is equally pointless, then there is no reason not to do things simply for the sake of doing them.” He argued.

“Do you really believe that, or are you holding out hope because he remembered even if it was just a little? You shouldn't set yourself up for failure…”

Xehanort's smile fell at that. Was he…? Rationalizing his subconscious desires was most certainly a habit he had, and one he would apparently never really grow out of. His mind told him rather definitively that no matter what threads Sora managed to cling to Sora would not truly remember anything. That Sora was the hero, and no matter how many strays Sora's bleeding heart adopted, Xehanort was the inarguable villain of the story and could never be offered the same second chances as people like Lea.

But his heart hadn't heard that, had it? His heart was bruised and battered and so very tired of being alone. He wanted so desperately for a friend. Just one. Another person who could validate him, someone who could fill the inky void left by Eraqus…

There was a time he had nothing but love in his heart for Eraqus. He still loved him, he was certain he always would, but it wasn't 'nothing but’ anymore. Things had become… stressed, just before he had left for this time. Eraqus had been speaking out against the darkness more often as of late- frequent broad sweeping statements about a force Xehanort knew the boy had never really encountered before, not in a meaningful way. Xehanort never said anything, he didn't know what he possibly could say… he had so much darkness in him, even before encountering any version of him from the future. It never hindered him and never really would, not in the traditional sense. Preachings warned of a force that would control a person, rob them of clear thought. He had seen darkness drive people to madness, but not himself. The eldest version of himself operated under and obsessive determination, but that wasn't _darkness_, or it was, but it was powered by it, it wasn’t… some phantasmal madness, or some sign of spiritual defectiveness…

The teachings they had learned in Scala ad Caelum had been so alienating. There were so many blurred lines… darkness was a tangible, scientific force that existed and created things like heartless, but it was also some spiritual measure of a person's worth. If you have darkness in you, you are unworthy, _unclean_. But darkness is made up of hardship and negativity, emotions that a person cannot truly go through life without feeling at least once. If one experiences loss, they will feel sorrow. Too much sorrow, and you have 'succumbed to darkness’. How was that fair? If an outside force harms a person, it is their own fault for being hurt? He never understood…

The idea that only a person who miraculously did not feel ugly, inconvenient emotions was worthy was absurd, especially given the nature of their duty. They were expected to fight, to be _soldiers_. He thought the idea of a keyblade wielder who was not allowed to truly empathize with the hardships of the people they protected was far less worthy than one who might feel anger and sorrow on the behalf of the civilians they fought for.

He understood the ideal, but in practice things were taken to an extreme. Like any institution, such preachings were abused to control the masses. Light was good, it was better to be happy than to be sad, it was better to try and move on than wallow, anyone would agree with that. But that sentiment was mixed and muddied with so many more dangerous thoughts and accusations. Anyone who spoke out against them was accused of being corrupt. If, or rather when, Xehanort would one day voice his concerns he would be made a pariah. After all, having doubt was the same as having darkness.

It was a catch 22, designed to prevent anything from ever changing, designed to force everyone into one, singular school of thought. A self fulfilling prophecy, in which the moment one worried about the darkness within it would create that darkness...

Xehanort had honestly wished he could conform. Everything would be so much easier- he and Eraqus would be happy, there would be no reason for the other boy to ever be weary of him, no reason for them to ever fight or disagree…

But Xehanort could not simply change who he was.

Or _what_ he was.

He had tried, at first. He had tried so hard. Even after the reassurance and guidance from his future heartless as he set out from his Islands, even after seeing the darkness himself on the short journey before he had arrived in the strange and beautiful world that was Scala ad Caelum, he had been willing to throw that all away for the sake of what he was being offered. A new home that didn't feel like a cage, a freedom he'd only dreamed of, a real and honest companionship… it had been literally too good to be true. 

That darkness was a part of him- he had already spent far too much of his life lonely and depressed. It defined him, it was part of his identity, he could not change it just as he could not change where he had been born. Yes, he had wanted to leave the islands and did, but he spent his childhood there, those years wouldn't change, they shaped his experiences going forward. Both fond memories of ocean breezes and the painful ones of schoolyard bullies made him who he was, changed how he reacted to the world now… it wasn't different he supposed, if the people of Scala had asked him to never talk of his island or being and islander ever again. If he had tried hard enough he probably could have- he imagined that a much easier feat than exercising himself of the darkness given his lingering disdain for him home- but it wasn't something he should have been asked to do regardless… after all, there were many wielders who hailed from other world's there who had been proud of their heritage. Surely they would have found this as hard to grasp as Xehanort himself…

So slowly, as Xehanort spent years beside Eraqus on this new world, he realized that he couldn't just force himself to change. No matter how much he wanted to give up that piece of him for his own and Eraqus’ happiness… he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough.

Maybe that did make him unworthy… but he didn't think so.

If anything, being true to oneself should be rewarded, shouldn't it? A person so quick to change to please others did not resonate as 'strong of heart’ to Xehanort, but he would be a 'disgraced master’ who had 'fallen to darkness’ so what did he know?

Was it then hypocritical to ask Eraqus to change…?

But he didn't think it was the same, because those ideals, the teachings of Scala ad Caelum, were something thrust upon Eraqus, not a conclusion he had come to himself, not something that _defined_ him. Or at least, it wasn't when he had last seen him…

Just before he had been swept away to this time he had been working up the courage to talk to Eraqus. A healthy relationship was built on compromises- surely they could find a middle ground? Xehanort could not change that he had darkness, but perhaps there was something smaller, something more accessible he _could_ do. He had been assuring himself that Eraqus would not be so harsh if he knew, that Eraqus would listen to reason- he knew Eraqus wouldn't just abandon those teachings (he could hope and dream, but he _knew_ it wasn't more than that), but… he loved and trusted Eraqus, and Eraqus had supposedly loved him. If they both took the time to listen to the other whatever compromise they made would surely be something even _better_ than what they both had individually thought before…?

Xehanort had once been nearly as optimistic as Sora, in his own way. Before he had seen the future he had had so much hope things would work out, that he could make a positive change in the World…

But now he knew for a fact no matter what he told Eraqus, the boy wouldn't budge. They would never come to an understanding, and would continue to fight for decades. He would still try, because that was what he was destined to do, and it would fail. The two would stubbornly flit in and out of each other's lives until finally he would strike Eraqus down.

If someone had told him Eraqus would die by his hand a few years ago he would have thrown them into the bay. It had seemed like something so impossible, but now…

There was no happy ending waiting for him when he returned to his time. All he was left with was the hole in his heart left where too many daydreams and plans for a happy life with Eraqus had once been. That hole had filled itself with a vast darkness, and that darkness had become a great strength. The cycle continued…

The one thing he wanted now, more than anything, was someone who would accept him as he was- darkness and all. He wasn't afraid of losing the strength the pain of loss and loneliness had brought him- on the contrary, it seemed the hopeless longing only refined it further. And if he did find someone that strength wouldn't just go away. It was as he had said, the darkness was apart of him, it wasn't a feeling he would unfeel or suddenly forget how to understand…

And somehow he had begun to pin those hopes on Sora.

Perhaps it was the stocholme like nature of being trapped in this cycle with him. It certainly had some influence, but it wasn't the only or even greatest factor… no, the greatest factor was something bizarre and seemingly unrelated- Riku.

He had never been so jealous of another person in his entire life (and from what he understood never would be again.)

Not because of Sora's obvious infatuation with the boy, Xehanort had far bigger problems to lament than to waste effort on something so base. No, it was because Riku had somehow gotten everything he had ever wanted. He was the 'dark hero’, the boy who fell into the abyss and was still loved and adored by all. The person for whom the World finally acknowledged that 'darkness wasn't all bad’, completely indifferent to the fact Xehanort had been pointing this out for decades.

Riku was a _keyblade master_ despite still being doubled in darkness. He was honestly glad the World had finally learned and moved forward, leaving behind the toxic teachings of Scala, but it _burned_ him to see someone else gets everything he had ever wanted while he was still left by the wayside. The hypocrisy of it all drove him mad. The fact that Riku still apologized for himself and his darkness infuriated him.

Maybe it was the simple fact that while it was all a step in the right direction it just wasn't enough. One boy being forgiven for his darkness was not the same as him being accepted for it…

But he was still jealous.

Because there was at least one person who _accepted_ that darkness, not forgave it.

And that was Sora.


	2. Scraps of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xehanort tries to tease out what few memories of the previous loops that lie deep in the shadows of Sora's heart.

"I can make it move for you."

Xehanort was unable to keep the flirtatious lit out of his voice. In the end he hadn't given Chirithy an answer before the next loop began, but he didn't have to. His fixation on Sora had turned into something dangerous, yet he couldn't bring himself to care.

"You're from the dream- the first of the Xehanorts!"

"I'm so honored you remember me."

The line was delivered as part of the script, but before he could summon the heartless for dear Sora to fight the look on the boy's face made him hesitate. It wasn't the usual righteous indignation, but rather Sora's brows were knit together in confusion, his mouth falling open as if he were searching for words.

"...do you?" Xehanort asked, a far more loaded question than anyone would realize if the answer was anything other than yes.

Sora hesitated, a full beat of silence passing before he shook his head to clear it and pointed his blade up at Xehanort. "Enough games, Xehanort! What are you up to!?"

"But this world is nothing but games, Sora." Xehanort taunted. Sora's hesitence was promising, but in the end there just wasn't enough to determine how much the boy had actually retained. He had hoped pressing him earlier in the cycle would make it easier for him to recall the last, but perhaps now he was just being impatient… he could try to draw something more definitive out of Sora later, it wasn't as though this was their only encounter in this place, after all.

And so for now, he returned to the script.

***

As per the script, the heroes eventually made their way to where Xehanort was waiting. Heartless easily took control of one of the toys, and Sora lashed out- predictable even without the world on repeat.

He gave his little speech about vessel's and hearts, Sora's blade always meeting empty air as time would pause just the second before the attack would land. Xehanort knew the timing too well at this point...

"All I needed was a wedge to widen the divide-"

He paused time again as he walked across the shelf, but as he glanced over his shoulder he was surprised _not_ to find a keyblade a hair's breadth away. Sora didn't attack him when he was supposed to, instead he was frozen half way to darting onto the side of the shelf to make use of his newfound wall running skill. 

Was it because he remembered? Or just one of the regular hiccups that happened from time to time…

When time began to flow again he summoned his own keyblade just in time to parry Sora's strike. The smirk on his face surely looked like something dastardly, but it was simply the result of the hope- the _excitement_ at Sora possibly retaining more and more memories even if only subconsciously.

The blades clashed and the rest of his lines were left temporarily forgotten. Sora was so beautiful when he fought desperately- even in this plastic plated form of ball joints and hinges his movements were nothing short of elegant and swift. And maybe he was letting things drag out so he could keep watching him…

Their blades locked, and at the close range Sora seemed startled by the look on Xehanort's face. Really, Sora was just certain he'd never seen _any_ emotion actually reach the other boy's eyes before, but right now they seemed so earnestly… amused? Sora wasn't sure that was right, but whatever it was, given the state of his friends it only served to rile him more. The glaring pout he gave Xehanort was legendary.

"I much prefer your ire to your tears." Xehanort murmured over their blades, smirk only widening at Sora's expression. Of course that comment cause it to melt into confusion, and Xehanort gave a small, smug hum before using the opening to finally knock Sora down.

Even with the wind knocked out of him, Sora was trying to make sense of the words. It was a messed up thing to say no matter how you sliced it, but at the same time he felt like it should make _sense_ somehow…

Xehanort picked Sora up off the ground by his collar, energy forming in his hand to blast the boy into the video game screen in the distance. But he paused, waiting, watching Sora for any kind of hit of true understanding or memory. Sora was too confused by it all to say or do anything- especially with the suddenly blank look Xehanort had locked on him. In the end, Sora knocked into the game like he was supposed to be, and Xehanort delivered the rest of his lines with a disappointment lacing his tone.

***

Things remained dull until Sora and his entourage found him in the detached space he'd tied to the air vents.

"Distance doesn't matter! Andy's apart of their hearts just like my friends are apart of mine!" Sora argued at Xehanort in the strange abyss stained space. "You can't rip that apart!"

No, he couldn't. But even if distance didn't matter, time was a very different case... One of these days, Xehanort would like to interrupt this exchange to give Sora a lesson on the point of an experiment- trying to stack the odds in favor of a certain outcome was just bad science. But he wasn't in the mood for it now. Well, that and, in the same vein as proper science, if he was testing Sora's memories, changing too many variables would just contaminate things.

"What, 'your friends are you power?' Ah… how very true." And of Xehanort sounded bored, it was because he was. "But… if the light of friendship is a form of power, than the darkness of being alone is a power-"

Something clicked inside Sora at hearing those words again. A look of realization suddenly flashed in his eyes and words fell from his lips before he could stop them- before he could even really comprehend their meaning. "Who cares about power! Do you really _want_ to be alone? You sure weren't acting like it!" 

Xehanort froze, mouth still half open with words that had long since died and been forgotten. So much hope sprung from just the subtleties of tense, and suddenly his heart was racing, beating loud enough his ears were ringing. That interruption, it was so dangerously, deliciously close to an invitation, one that was founded on sweet words from other times. Sora _did_ remember, his heart was truly something spectacular.

"Does anyone? But fate is not always so kind." He answered, the giddiness leaking into his voice just slightly. But before he could continue he was interrupted again.

"Whatever your talking about, I don't care." Cut in the annoying toy cowboy. Xehanort's smirk fell as he listened to the thing drone on and he reminded himself to be patient.

"My guess is no one's ever loved you before. Because you know nothing about hearts and love."

_Oh how very wrong he was._ If anything, Xehanort had been loved far too much, graced with adoration he obviously could not be trusted with. And he had loved, with all his heart- so earnestly, so _innocently_, it seemed so foolish now. It was that love for Eraqus that had born that loneliness in the first place.

Love was the source of the deepest darkness he held.

And then Sora stepped forward, next to the toy. "There are hearts all around us trying to connect." And now they were back to the script. Xehanort schooled himself from frowning.

Everything else played out how it was 'supposed' to. When he and Sora locked blades this time he couldn't help but search the boy's eyes for any more recognition. And for all that Sora was going through the motions, he seemed _confused_, like he was finally aware of a staggering dejavu. That was good, to the point he hadn't realized he was smiling until Sora's brows furrowed. A small 'hm' with the lit of laughter left him and his smile turned into something knowing, just a bit taunting, pulling thinner and wider across his face. And Sora's expression softened, eyes widening just a bit, as though something was on the tip of his tongue, the memories so close to solidifying…

"Wak! There's nothing funny about this, you creep!" But alas, they were not alone, and so the silent conversation was cut short by Sora's extremely aggravating companion's.

It took too much effort to remember to pretend to care about the toys. The scene was going to have to play out as it was supposed to, he realized, but he had one tiny chance to lead Sora back to him.

"_Wait!_" Sora called before charging at him, and Xehanort wondered if he was just projecting when it sounded as though Sora wanted him to stay for reasons beyond trying to introduce his keyblade to his face.

As so when he passed him, he delivered a different message. "Meet me at the top of the capsule game."

"Wha-" Sora began, but Xehanort was gone before he could ask.

***

Xehanort waited inside the dispensing mechanism of the overly large gotcha machine, looking down at the toy store below through the small opening. The likelihood Sora would actually come was slim, and alone even slimmer, but he quite literally had nothing to lose. There were far more disruptive things he could be trying- it wasn't as though he was stalking Sora to the other worlds he treaded across…

...not yet, at least.

Though he'd like to think his desperation hadn't come to that, he knew himself well enough that he had little skill in resisting following his obsessions. Sora would travel to Corona next- a world with a large city where he could easily slip into the crowd…

Perhaps he could convince Sora to dance with him. Or trick him into dancing with him. Either or.

Abruptly Xehanort was startled out of his fantasies by the sound of magic-aided grinding on the capsule dispenser track. Sora landed inside the spaceship covered mechanical housing with a flourish, looking just as surprised as Xehanort was to find the other boy actually there.

Surprisingly, Sora broke the silence. "...I don't think I've ever seen you look shocked…" he said awkwardly. It was weird- you didn't just… catch _Xehanort_ off guard. And if you did, you were probably supposed to… fight him and stuff… but...

Xehanort's surprise melted into a warm smirk- an expression probably only he could pull off. "That would be because we have had very few opportunities to meet as anything besides enemies."

Sora started, his whole body lurching back in confusion. "Are you saying you don't want to fight!? Then why'd you just sick a giant heartless on us!"

Xehanort laughed at Sora's indignation. He couldn't help it, he was so cute. Hackles raised with all the intimidation of a feisty kitten. It was a brief sound- his hand coming to cover his mouth as he tried to school himself. "The heartless was normal in size. We are the ones who are small." He corrected.

"That's not- wait, was that a joke?" Sora asked as the confusion hit him. Xehanort was just acting _weird_\- and not creepy bad guy weird, which was even weirder and more concerning…

"I do have a sense of humor, if not a twisted one." Xehanort answered easily. It only served to confuse Sora more, but after some internal conflict the hero pouted.

"Why did you call me here?" He finally asked, his general short attention span finally catching back up to the point. Xehanort also thought that was cute, but he no longer has time to dwell on that.

"That depends. How much do you remember, Sora?" He asked seriously, almost pleadingly with the way Sora's name spilled from him.

Several emotions flitted across Sora's face- mostly forms of confusion and surprise, but some showed the struggle, the recognition, of forgotten memories. "Do you mean… this… really happened before? Like, all of it?" 

Xehanort let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The urge to close the distance between then and wrap Sora up in his arms was overwhelming, but he shoved it down. He couldn't afford to scare him off now. "That's right." And his face was once again an even calm because he knew he couldn't chance letting any of his over eager emotions slip through.

"Why should I believe you?" Sora snapped, but Xehanort recognized it at the fear of such an ominous situation to suddenly find oneself in. The poor thing.

"You tell me. You are the one who came here of your own volition, alone and unarmed." Xehanort pointed out, the words almost gentle as he tried to coax Sora into accepting the truth. Sora opened and closed his mouth several times, his eyes swimming with too many thoughts.

"We… talked before…" he finally said, face scrunching up like he was trying to solve a too hard math problem. "It's hazy, but… it was still kinda weird then, right? If… if you don't wanna fight then… stop fighting." Sora pleaded, still confused. He only had _scraps_ of memory from other times he still didn't understand. 

Xehanort's smile at the confirmation the boy remembered fell into something melancholy at Sora's attempt at bargaining. Sora's heart was in the right place- it usually was- but he never quite understood that just wasn't how things worked. "I'm not fighting you now." He offered as consolation. But Sora just looked _hurt_ and Xehanort felt his chest melting at the idea that Sora wanted that badly not to be enemies.

Xehanort walked over to the hole in the floor, Sora momentarily panicking that the movement meant he was leaving all together until Xehanort raised a hand in reassurance. He sat down, dangling his feet over the edge, and patted the spot next to him. Sora hesitated, but plopped down next to him regardless.

"...you're not gonna push me off are you?" Sora asked hesitantly. Xehanort raised an eyebrow.

"You can fly."

Sora blinked, seeming to have somehow forgotten this fact, and then grinned brightly. "Good point!"

But the grin didn't last long. Sora looked down at the store below and it was obvious he was still full of questions. Xehanort appreciated Sora's curiosity, apparently more than most. It was a shame no one else seemed to have the patience to explain the more complex parts to him. Would he even have a rudimentary understanding of time travel if he hadn't taken the time to put it in terms he would understand?

"How many… times has it happened?" Sora finally asked. He was pretty sure it was more than one, but he really didn't have a clear enough grasp. "You remember all of it right? Is just you or the whole organization? Is it because your not from this time?" Once the floodgates opened Sora seemed to rapid fire the questions as they came, but Xehanort didn't mind.

"Yes, I do, more clearly than yourself, because of my affinity for Time, as you suspect. But to the extent of my knowledge, the rest of the organization cannot- even myselves. Though while they do not have the ability to retain a connection to previous loops, it is likely they are aware of the fact that time is looping." It was a fine difference to distinguish, but an important one. Sora seemed a bit confused by it, but after a second it clicked, Sora nodding to signify he understood.

"...this is the 87th iteration."

"_What!?_" Sora balked. _87_!? Sora didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't a number that high. "You mean the keyblade war's happened _87_ times!?"

Xehanort simply nodded with a quiet hum, giving Sora time to adjust before he fed him any new information. Sora's head was spinning as he tried to grasp it all, and what he finally said not at all what Xehanort expected.

"...no wonder you're so lonely…" Sora's eyes were full of empathy when he finally turned them towards him, and Xehanort for once simply didn't know how to respond. He felt his cheeks begin to flush and he tried his damndest to force his expression into something typically stoic.

"Yes, well…" he wasn't used to being stricken with ineloquence, at least he could take solace in that Sora would not be observant enough to see the subtleties in his speech change. "...that is why I began to seek you out. You are the only other one in this causality with the capacity to retain consciousness between, as far as I can tell. And I have had… more than enough time to test that, as you can imagine." It was far too honest of an answer, but he found it difficult to regret.

When he looked back to Sora the boy looked utterly heartbroken. He felt his own heart swell with adoration for the sympathy, but before he could even begin to react to it Sora's eyes hardened in determination. 

"So what do we have to do to fix it?"

Of course Sora would say that. He was the hero after all. 

"I'm not so sure it can be 'fixed'." Xehanort replied. For once he really didn't want to crush or dash Sora's hopes, but it wasn't so simple…

Sora pouted. "See, that's your problem, you're too gloomy!"

"Is it now." Xehanort deadpanned. Sora was certainly a piece of work, but then again it would be too boring if he wasn't.

"We have to try _something_." Sora argued.

"'We'?" Xehanort latched onto the fact Sora had now said that twice perhaps a bit too quickly. He never in his wildest dreams thought _Sora_ would come to _him_.

"Well… yeah. That's why you wanted to talk, right? I mean…" but Sora's confidence faded as he spoke. Xehanort could see the moment Sora realized the things he assumed weren't necessarily obvious to others. "If, after the war ends, time just rewinds… then no one ever really wins. It's never over. That's bad for both sides, isn't it?"

Xehanort smiled a hair too softly. Sora was so much smarter than most gave him credit for. "You're right- the organization has nothing to gain from this either. After all, what use is it to us if we reach Kingdom Hearts only for it to be taken away." That made him wonder if they ever had properly won. Surely Kingdom Hearts itself was more than enough to break them out of this cycle… but then again, he was fairly confident it always restarted before it was fully active.

Sora looked unsure for a moment, the reminder of Xehanort's goals making him uneasy. Xehanort's smirk turned bitter.

"Second thoughts on seeking aid from your greatest foe?"

"... I can't do it by myself."

Xehanort allowed himself to frown. He had seen enough variations of Sora's break down in the Badlands to know the self doubt that had festered into that comment. He was angry, honestly, and tucking away plans to find whoever had put _that_ idea in Sora's head and inflict a long over due penance of pain on them. Because for once it hadn't been he, himself, or him… his money was on the sorcerer or the rat.

But that wasn't what Sora needed to hear right now, so instead he gently placed his hands over Sora's where his fingers were gripping the edge of the plastic. "You will not have to."

Sora snapped up in surprise, just staring at Xehanort for a long moment before a grin finally spread across his face. He didn't seem at all put off by the physical contact. "You mean you'll help?"

Xehanort only nodded, distracted by the fact Sora hadn't yet shucked off his touch. Suddenly he hated the very concept of _gloves. _They protected hands, but at what cost? He could feel the warmth radiating from the back of Sora's fingers even if muted by the layer of leather. He wanted so desperately to be able to feel battle calloused skin, trace every curve of his fingers to find the parts that were still soft… Perhaps he could conveniently misplace his gloves at some point in the near future…

Sora was oblivious to this, his hand moving away from Xehanort's to gesture excitedly and unintentionally breaking the spell. "So! What's the plan?"

Xehanort blinked up at Sora, his head tilting just slightly to one side as he asked. "And why are you asking me?"

Sora glanced away, a small tick where he glanced out of the corner of his eye to gather his thoughts. Xehanort found it endearing. "Well, you know, your whole thing is planning and scheming and stuff!"

Xehanort smirked. That Sora recognized and valued his intelligence was quite the compliment. That Sora considered his machinations the result of careful forethought and not insanity was the highest of praise for a man who had far too many times been written off as merely delusional. It caused his heart to flutter almost dangerously.

But before he could comment Sora continued. "...and I'm not… really good at that sort of thing."

Xehanort's expression fell immediately. "Your ability to make snap judgements and act swiftly on your feet has put a stop to my plans more than once, Sora. Do not sell yourself short." No, Sora did not always plan, but that was largely because he didn't _need_ to and that made him dangerous. He was a force of rampant chaos that could not be fully calculated even by Xehanort himself. And he personally found it to be a beautiful thing to witness- after all, in the Realm of Sleep they had carefully constructed an environment to use that strength of Sora's against him. That someone would try to snuff that out…

Sora glanced up at Xehanort, his expression somewhere between embarrassed and confused by the compliment. He scratched his cheek awkwardly and decided to study his shoes. "Most people just call it dumb luck…" he returned sheepishly. He didn't used to think it was, but he'd been told that so many times now…

"Only a fool mistakes intuition for luck." Xehanort returned just shy of shortly. The urge to hunt down those who had been chipping away at Sora's sense of self worth growing rapidly. "I do not care what you have been told- you have proven a worthy adversary and I value your opinion. I may not always agree, but I certainly have no intention of dismissing you out of hand."

Sora glanced up at Xehanort almost in awe. It had been a really long time since anyone so much as took something he said seriously. It was… A little overwhelming honestly, suddenly being made to feel so important. He felt like he didn't deserve it, and that thought caused his gaze to fall. 

"I… okay…" he finally answered awkwardly.

Xehanort's brow furrowed as Sora appeared more distressed than reassured. It hurt, seeing the boy so torn up and out of sorts, moreso that he had somehow contributed despite trying to give aid. Sora's unpredictability was proving itself at the worst of times… "...my apologies. I did not mean to put you under undue pressure." He tried, watching Sora carefully as he spoke.

Sora nearly jumped, looking at Xehanort guiltily with big eyes. "What? No- I mean- you didn't do anything wrong, I just…" he rambled awkwardly, his gaze finally darting away from the deer in headlights expression. He fidgeted with his bracers as he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly. Xehanort was patient, giving Sora the time he needed to collect his thoughts.

"...Um, Don't… take this the wrong way- I mean I guess there might not be a right way to take it- but uh… I dunno, your just… a lot nicer than I thought you'd be, now that your not being all evil and stuff…"

Xehanort blinked once. "Oh." That had certainly not been what he had been expecting. He found himself fighting off another blush as a few emotions vied for control- he was happy that Sora thought he was 'nice', elated even, but the fact it was apparently so hard for Sora to grasp it had left him in shock was… disheartening, to say the least. And beyond that was the still simmering anger at how his so called allies had been treating him- after all he hardly thought he had been going out of his way to be courteous, so if this was a level of conscientiousness Sora wasn't used to that was another problem entirely. Unless... he was failing to keep his feelings properly masked and in check. He certainly hadn't thought he had been so sloppy as to let something slip, but perhaps… he would just have to be more careful. He found himself moving his gaze for Sora's sake more than his own.

"I have radical ideals and believe ends can justify means, but I am not a sadist." Well, he could admit he _could_ be sadistic when it was appropriate, but that was usually in cases of vengeance or the like. He gained no joy from innocent, unrelated people suffering, he just was willing to make drastic sacrifices for his goals. Or at least the goal he was currently chasing. The very nature of his plans for Kingdom Hearts made morality extremely complex… and that was not something he thought Sora needed to deal with at this particular moment. "No offense taken. I spend a great deal of time being 'all evil and stuff' as you put it. You will, however, have to get used to the fact that that is not how I spend _all_ of my time."

Sora grinned sheepishly at the teasing reassurance. He felt kind of stupid again. It had just never occurred to him that when Xehanort wasn't being a bad guy and doing organizationy thing he was… just a guy. Still kind of a weird guy, but not a cartoony mad scientist… "Aha, right..."

"Uh, so anyway…" because Sora really wanted to eject himself from this bout of social awkwardness. "Where do we start? With the time loopy thing I mean."

Xehanort's expression softened just a fraction- Sora's childish way of speaking was _extremely_ endearing. He found it hard to stay distressed after hearing 'time loopy thing', even if the subject in and of itself was technically distressing. Sora's embarrassment was cute too, especially since it seemed to stem from being worried he'd upset him. 

"Well-"

"_Wak!_ Sora, c'mon! Stop dawdling!" The voice of one disgruntled duck echoed through the toy store and cut any further conversation short. Xehanort quickly drew his legs up from the edge and stood to keep from being seen. Sora was panicking. 

"On no! But- we haven't even figured anything out yet!" He exclaimed, assuming Xehanort was going to run off now that the other were here. He didn't blame him, it would take some time to explain and convince people not to attack _Xehanort_ on sight.

Xehanort's heart melted a little at Sora's big round blue eyes looking up to him for answers. He probably shouldn't have found the wide-eyed panic as cute as he did but… oh well. "Don't worry, Sora. We have quite some time until this loop draws to a close. Continue on the adventure you are supposed to be having and I will find you in the next world."

"But!" Sora eloquently protested as he reached out and grabbed Xehanort's hand to keep him from leaving. Xehanort relished the contact, but worry for Sora's wellbeing remained in the forefront this time. He had assumed Sora's panic was solely at being caught, but it seemed it was rooted in a much deeper anxiety. After being repeatedly torn apart from those closest to him he clearly had more than a simple dislike for goodbyes. Sora must have truly hated being alone.

How ironic.

But he really couldn't stay- revealing himself to others now would have consequences he couldn't yet prepare for.

"We will meet again in Corona, tomorrow, I promise." Giving Sora a finite timeframe was important. The poor thing had spent far too long waiting indefinitely for things that _might_ happen… He squeezed his hand reassuringly before pulling away, finally summoning a dark corridor and disappearing.

And Sora was just left sitting there, his hand still half raised. _Tomorrow._ He could wait until tomorrow… he'd just have to… know that the keyblade war apparently happened 87- 86? Xehanort said this was the 87th… it didn't matter- that the keyblade war happened a bunch of times and not tell anyone else and be in a state of constant internal screaming for the next 24 hours. Yup. He… could do that. Hopefully. He wasn't… great at keeping secrets.


	3. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora starts to question if trusting anyone from the organization is a good idea after all...
> 
> Also Xehanort makes good on his dancing threats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually got this done pretty fast all things considered! Only about the first half of this was betad so >> yeah.
> 
> I'd like to think Xeha's gushing doesn't get too out of character, mostly because it happened while he's by himself XD

Sora didn't exactly… remember what had happened the other times he'd been to Corona, but he had the strangest dejavu every second they were there. Everything was familiar, not just the places, but the conversations too… and that was stressful. Xehanort said he should do things like he had other times in so many words- or at least that was what he'd thought he meant at least- but it was harder than it sounded. He was constantly worrying he was doing something wrong or different. At least, sometimes the dejavu was strong enough he got the sense they were on the right track, but he still never really  _ knew.   
_

Besides that there was the question of if he really should be trusting Xehanort at all. While Rapunzel had her external crisis Sora was quietly having an internal one. Xehanort had been super nice and helpful, but Xehanort lied to trick people all the time! That was Ansem had done to Riku right? But like Xehanort said, being in a loop wasn't good for anyone… or maybe it was secretly the organizations fault? Maybe it was just another trick to get him on their side? Maybe there wasn't even a time loopy thing at all, maybe the dejavu was something else. Like when he first visited Twilight Town and it was Roxas' memories… maybe Roxas had been to Corona when he was in the organization! But then again, that wouldn't explain the conversations being familiar too… and it wasn't like Xehanort was pretending they weren't technically enemies… he even seemed confused Sora wanted his help. But was it an act? He was so confused, and he really couldn't talk to anyone about it…

He even kept confusing himself with his own internal reactions to everything Xehanort had said the day before. Everytime Donald scolded him or complained about what he was doing, all he could think was 'well, Xehanort said I have good intuition and he's the smartest person I know even if he  _ is _ a bad guy so take that!' Not that he could argue it out loud, but he thought things like that  _ a lot _ .

Until Donald, in a conversation about the hasbeen- er, Marluxia- very pointedly called him out for trusting the organization. The all consuming feeling of 'I fucked up' suddenly engulfed him. Trusting Xehanort was a decision he made on his own after all, and no one seemed to think he should be allowed to make decisions by himself because he kept… messing everything up. Like in the Realm of Sleep. Where… Xehanort led him astray- But! He didn't trust Xehanort at all when he was there. Actually Xehanort kept telling him things weren't as they seemed, if he had listened maybe he wouldn't have messed up so bad??? But… And just as that doubt spiral was spinning out of control, Goofy spoke up saying he thought that Marluxia wasn't lying either? He was just… so confused…

He hadn't felt this confused when he was talking to Xehanort, but he wasn't even sure if that was a good thing…   


What he  _ really _ wanted was to call  _ Riku _ and ask him about it, but well, world order and all first of all- he'd missed that window as soon as they landed here- but also what would Riku even think? Would he freak out? Xehanort said he should keep things under wraps- or keep the timeline the same was what was more important probably, and telling people would mess it up- but… but it was  _ Riku _ .

Come to think of it, he never felt this confused talking to Riku about things either. Maybe Donald was just bad at explaining things…? But Donald wasn't the only one who thought he was slow on the uptake, so…

Sora tried to let himself be distracted by Rapunzel excitedly running around the city they'd finally found. His brain hurt and he needed a break. Also it was getting close to sunset- it had taken them more than a day to get through the woods to the city, so it was officially 'tomorrow' and…   


"Come on everyone! Come dance with us!"

Sora snapped out of his thoughts at Rapunzel's cheery voice. Dancing sounded like just the thing to cheer him up and get his mind off things!

So Sora made his way out into the square, linking arms with strangers and twirling them around. Everyone here was so cheery! But then again that's what festivals were for right?

Sora changed dance partners countless times. Most of the townsfolk were wearing similar clothes and honestly hard to tell apart with all the fast movement- but suddenly Sora noticed someone who stuck out at least as much as Rapunzel did. He had a hat that shadowed his face and some sort of scarf and decorative half cape thingy. Probably just a noble or something?

He got a closer look when he finally wound up partnered with him, but it was short lived. Sora found himself stumbling as both he and the other guy tried to lead, and the other guy was definitely winning out. Sora was too focused on his own feet to think too hard about why those boots looked familiar…

When he finally adjusted to following he grinned up apologetically "Sorr-"

But the word died when he suddenly registered the flash of gold and silver under the brim.

"Hello Sora."

"XE- X...xylophone…" Sora corrected lamely. It wasn't his fault words didn't start with X!! Or Z!!

Xehanort chuckled. Oh Sora was absolutely  _ precious. _ How he had missed him in their short time apart.

Sora pouted cutely. And now Xehanort was laughing at him! Great. "It's not my fault your name starts with a hard letter!" He whispered as the two continued to waltz around the square.

Xehanort used the hushed conversation as an excuse to push them closer together, the hand on Sora's waist sliding around to the small of his back. This time he could feel the skin of Sora's fingers where their hands were laced together, the disguise a perfect excuse to rid himself of his gloves. Sora's hand was warm, and rough in different places than his was. "I'll be sure to pass your complaints along to the concept of language, then."   


Sora pouted even more, but it was cut short as Xehanort spun him out and pulled him back in again. It was at this point Sora registered he was  _ dancing _ with  _ Xehanort _ .

He didn't get to dwell on it long though, Xehanort had quickly picked up the pace of things and most of Sora's attention went to keeping up. Xehanort wasn't just dancing- he was  _ good _ at it! At different types than Sora was, but it was still impressive. Sora certainly was no slouch in the dancing department himself, so every spin, step, and flourish Xehanort threw at him he was able to match with his own. Sora hadn't even noticed some of the townsfolk had stopped dancing themselves in favor of form a small circle to watch them instead.

And then Sora found himself being  _ lifted up into the air _ . He knew he was kind of a small guy, but Xehanort picked him up like he was made of feathers! And the small lift was the only warning he got before picked up a second time and outright thrown skyward. Sora being Sora flipped and spun until he was perfectly righted, and before his feet could touch the ground Xehanort caught him. Just, caught him out of the air holding him by the waist. Sora's hands found Xehanort's shoulders to steady himself while he was being held. Both panted the same air as they stopped like that, Sora's head above Xehanort's for a change with him held off the ground as he was.

Everyone around them cheered, and that was when Sora noticed the crowd. He grinned and waved. That had actually been a lot of fun. Confusing, but fun nonetheless.   


Xehanort set him down only to spin him again- the dancing an important deterrent to ensure no one  _ besides _ Sora could get close enough to recognize him. "Find an excuse to get away. I will be in town. I will find you once you’re alone." Xehanort explained quickly.

Sora got as far as "Uh-" before he was spun out and away. Xehanort disappeared between other dancers and out of the square entirely.

"That sure was some fancy footwork! Shame he left in such a hurry though " Goofy piped up from the edge of the crowd where Sora hadn't realized he'd wound up. Right, that explained why Xehanort ran off then…

"Uh, yeah. But that's okay! Still plenty of other people to dance with right?" Sora insisted brightly. They were gonna be in town until the lanterns were up at the very least, so he'd have plenty of time to find Xehanort…

"Wewh! Actually, that kinda wore me out. I think I'm gonna find something to drink!"   


Donald looked at Sora skeptically. "Alright, but don't go too far! We gotta keep an eye on things!"

Sora tried not to wince as he felt like he was being caught. "Don't worry! I won't leave town!" And before Donald could protest that the town was too big Sora was running off.

***  


Xehanort waited in a small alley, practically  _ grinning _ over what had just transpired. He couldn't even begin to put into words what that short dance had been like. Some might find it odd to describe Sora as  _ elegant _ , but he was, in the way he moved. He kept pace with him  _ perfectly.  _ They had managed to fall into synch almost immediately- it was all almost too good to be true.   


And it had taken a will of steel not to lean up and kiss him at the end.

The adrenaline was still coursing through him, and he found it harder than he usually did to just wait. He managed to, but his heart still near beating out of his chest made it hard not to fidget. His hand kept coming to rest over where Sora had been gripping his shoulder.

He could have  _ probably  _ alerted Sora to his presence another way, but he wanted to be self-indulgent, so sue him. It had been completely worth the risk in the end.

It didn't take too long, fortunately. Sora wandered by on his own- and here Xehanort had thought he'd have to tail him with the dog and duck for at least an hour.

He exited the alley and fell in step with him quickly.

"Care for another dance?"

"Xehanort!" Sora allowed himself to call this time. Though he did look around nervously right after. Once he was sure the coast was clear he continued. "I sure didn't take you for the dancing type!"

Xehanort found Sora's bright grin contagious, though it appeared as more of a smirk on him. "All things considered, we still do not know each other very well. I am sure you will learn many more things about me, Sora."

"That fair!" Sora agreed, but then as he thought about it his grin began to fade. The way it was phrased, Xehanort seemed sure they would be spending more time together. That wasn't nefarious on it own, but it made Sora realize he just sort of… ran off to find Xehanort without thinking again. After all the turmoil he put himself through today and yesterday… he really… didn't look before he leapt…   


"Um… I was going to find something to drink after all the dancing. Maybe we should find somewhere quiet to talk…?" Even if Xehanort was up to something, as long as they stayed in a public place it would be fine, right? There were guards and stuff all over because of the festival, and it's not like Sora couldn't handle himself in a fight. A fairish fight at least- that was the problem…

What Sora had said was something entirely practical, but what Xehanort had  _ heard _ was an invitation to dinner. Sora had invited him on  _ a date _ .

Well.

For as much as he had learned to use his self delusion to preserve his sanity in this trying causality (as paradoxical as that was) he was aware it wasn't  _ a date _ . Not one with romantic intent at least. But it was still technically a dinner date, and Xehanort would be damned if he wasn't going to take what scraps of affection he could from the other boy.  _ Especially  _ after that dance.

"Of course." Was all he said aloud. He couldn't afford to openly gush right now.

And so the two found a small cafe where they both sat inside and out of view of a potentially meandering Donald or Goofy. Xehanort finally removed the hat and pulled down the coif, his hair cascading down his back seemed to distract Sora for half a second. It was unfortunately not for the reasons Xehanort was hoping.

"Where did you even get that gettup?" Sora asked as he finally had time to register it properly. Xehanort was definitely wearing the same pants and boots he did with his coat, but the upper half of him was dressed in a very fairy-tale like tunic and vesty thing (because Sora didn't know words like jerkin.) It was all grey black and purple. And the thing he thought was a scarf was sort of attached to the half cape.   


"Here. What better way to blend into a world than to don their dress?" Xehanort answered simply. "I admit, the hat was a bit much, but pale hair and a dark complexion is unfortunately conspicuous outside the islands."

"I liked the hat!" Sora replied, reaching over and grabbing it to try it on. It didn't quite sit right on his bed of spikes, but that only made it all the more adorable. Xehanort resisted the urge to coo- Sora really was going to be the death of him like this.

He also resisted saying he would wear it for him.

It was at that point Xehanort realized he was in too deep and it was time to sort out the more relevant details. Business before pleasure as it were.

"...are you still intending to try and break the causality?"

Sora's goofy expression slipped away and slowly set the hat back on the table. Right, they weren't here to pal around, as… oddly pleasant as palling around with Xehanort apparently was. Maybe it was because they both grew up on the islands… he kept forgetting that Xehanort lived there once too.

"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?" Sora bit his lip before continuing. He didn't want it to sound like an accusation, but he wanted to know… "Why did you say I should keep doing what I did last time? Shouldn't we get as many people to help as we can?"

Xehanort wasn't put off in the slightest- it was a perfectly fair question, and he would rather Sora ask and understand the situation than let others blindly push him into action as was apparently the norm. "That would be one way to approach it, but by doing so we would be giving up another advantage we currently have at our disposal. As long as things remain the same we know how the story plays out. However, once we take an action that diverges from that path, we lose that valuable knowledge of the future- or at least the immediate future. We will likely have to do something drastic to break the cycle, but we can still choose what point to take that action carefully."

Sora looked up at the ceiling as he processed that. "I get it… if we tell a bunch of people it'll change things, and since we- well, you, I sort of only get dejavu still- know what everyone does every time, if it's someone doing this on purpose, we… basically lose the element of surprise?" Sora sounded like he confused himself as he tried to repeat it back, but his confidence bolstered when Xehanort nodded. So he'd been right when he thought Xehanort was worried about changing what happened! There was sort of more to it than that, but Sora wasn't exactly used to figuring things out, and definitely not Xehanort's reasons for things.

"More or less. Since we have so few clues as to the cause, raising alarm could be dangerous."

"Right…" And just like that Sora's cheeriness faded again. Besides that just being disheartening, it was also awfully convenient that circumstances made it so Sora couldn't tell anyone… what Xehanort said made it all make sense, but that's why it was so scary…

"That is all assuming we are dealing with a malevolent force that has some purpose. The cause could be anything." Xehanort offered as a small consolation.   


Sora did perk up at that. "Does that mean you have some ideas?"

Xehanort hummed. "Well, the idea that someone is using this to trap any number of those involved in the war seems plausible. But beyond that possibilities could be endless- there are many forces being tampered with by both sides. For all we know, this could be Kingdom Hearts' own defense mechanism to keep me out. Time does not flow properly in the Realm of Darkness, and many from both sides have been flitting in and out of that place. The replica program, the spell that binds Castle Oblivion being undone, the power of waking, my own time traveling, the list goes on…"   


Of course by the end of that Sora slumped down in his chair even more defeated than before.

"...my apologies."

"It's not your fault! Or… it might not be…" Sora huffed and let his head fall to the table. They didn't even know enough for him to say that! "Is there anything we  _ do  _ know?"

Xehanort allowed himself to reach across the table and pet Sora's hair reassuringly. "We know definitively that my own time powers allow me to resist the full effects of the paradox. We know that it has happened 87 times and that the point at which time reset happens after my own defeat in the final battle, and begins again after you leave Olympus. But perhaps most notably, is that the paradox seems to center around you, Sora."

"Wh-  _ me!? _ " Sora sat up in his confusion and Xehanort's hand fell back to the table.

"You are the only one who can change things. Fate sinks its claws in deep- even when your actions create ripples that change the actions of others, fate always seems to push them back into line before too much can be altered. But not you Sora. Of all the iterations I've wanted, you are the only one who behaves differently. Even if it's something as small as a different choice of words, or as great as what world you find yourself in, and which enemies you chose to face." Xehanort said it all matter of factly, because to him it was. Sora always was and would be the hero of the story.

"But I…" If the things Xehanort had been saying before were too much pressure, this was was unbearable. Did...that mean it was somehow  _ his  _ fault…? "But- what about you! You can change stuff right?"

"I've never tried."

" _ What?" _

"...not anything important to the tide of war at least. I suppose my few conversations with you would technically constitute changing something. But they all lead me to the same end. It was never my place to rebel against fate."

Sora just looked sad at that. Everything Xehanort had just said had been loaded, and despite what people thought Sora was taking the time to unpack each thing. He sort of remembered the times Xehanort and him talked before, always in some modern world surrounded by skyscrapers… but he couldn't remember much more than that. And besides that…

Abruptly, Sora planted both his hands down on the table and stared down the boy sitting across from him- his stern expression something that was surprising able to pull off for a change. "Yeah well, you shouldn't just let fate push you around! You shouldn't sell yourself short either!"

Xehanort sat up straighter at the outburst, but otherwise managed to keep an even expression until Sora finished. That was… a very touching thing for Sora to say. He was so sweet. His heart was certainly in the right place, he appreciated the concern but… that just wasn't something he could do.

"A difficult task when you speak to your future self on a daily basis, but I'll try." A bitter smirk worked its way across his lips as he spoke. He would humor Sora in what ways he could, there was no reason to be cruel at a time like this after all.

"Maybe that doesn't have to be you." Sora was dead serious. And it… hurt. Because suddenly it felt like Sora was latching on the parts of him he deemed acceptable and trying to cut out the rest, like Scala, like Eraqus…

Xehanort set his jaw, his hands folded neatly in front of him, and began counting each individual grain in the wood on the table. "Your white knighting is not a charming quality, Sora. And it's quite bold of you to assume I dislike who I become, given how long I have been willingly working with the organization."

Sora shrunk back at that, losing all of the nerve he'd finally managed to scrap together. It was weird- in all the times he'd fought Xehanort- this Xehanort or even Ansem and Xemnas- he wasn't really ever sure he'd seen him…  _ mad.  _ Or maybe mad wasn't the right word for this- offended? It was confusing and… kind of scary. But… this Xehanort was so  _ nice _ , and he hadn't really hurt anyone yet! Well, he separated Woody and Buzz from Andy, but he wasn't  _ murdery _ like Old him! The old Xehanort was… mean? Then again Sora had barely encountered him at all. Maybe he was still weirdly nice to the people in the organization, but that didn't seem right…

"...Sorry… um… I guess I don't really how you- he- is- are?" Grammar and time travel did not mix. "And I would be pretty mad if somebody bad-mouthed Roxas." Sora just sort of looked sadly at his lap as he spoke. He was pretty sure old Xehanort was 100% bad news, but arguing with this Xehanort about it wasn't really going to get them anywhere…

Xehanort relaxed at Sora's apology, he even almost felt bad for snapping. Sora's lack of impulse control was a blessing and a curse… "...your ability to find ways to empathize with others is astounding."

"Huh?"

"My situation is impossibly unique, but you found a way to draw parallels regardless. That is not a skill many have."

"Oh…" At least Xehanort didn't seem mad anymore? Though worrying about Xehanort was still a pretty weird concept… and he'd gone and forgotten that he might be tricking him again… would he have snapped at him like that if he was?   


"...My apologies, we've gotten off track." Xehanort offered as an out to the current line of conversation. Sora bit his lip.

"Um. Actually… since I've already gone and put my foot in my mouth there's something I should probably ask now…"

Xehanort hadn't been expecting that to say the least. He tilted his head curiously and prompted. "Go on."

Sora glanced around nervously, to stall more than anything. "It's just… how do I know I can trust you? The organization tricks people to get what they want all the time. You already pulled one over on me in the Realm of Sleep…"

Xehanort's face fell into something perfectly neutral. He had thought they had managed to skip this conversation after their chat in Toybox, but apparently not…   


"I may have reached out to you first in the last world, but you are the one who asked for my help in the long term. If you decide you don't trust me, then simply take on the endeavor on your own. At the very least I can promise that I- this me- will not stop you."

Sora's brows pulled together, once again the despair seeming to drag his whole body down in his chair. "But…"

"You still don't think you can do it on your own?"

Sora didn't answer, he didn't have to.

"Then why not tell your friends?"

"Because! What if that messes everything up like you said? I'm… not good at making decisions like that…" after all, it seemed like every time he made a choice recently it was the wrong one…

"Then follow your heart."

Sora snapped up at that. He could remember Xigbar's voice far too clearly.  _ Thank you Sora's heart! For leading him right into our clutches. _ "The last time I did that you almost possessed me!"

Xehanort sighed. "Fair enough. But Sora, even if it is not this, there will come a time where you will have to decide things for yourself. You hold a great strength in your bonds with others, but that does not mean you are weak when you are alone."

Sora's brows furrowed and he looked down at his lap. "...that sure isn't what the others seemed to think…"

And much like his grin, it seemed Sora's frown was equally contagious. "...weren't you listening before? The darkness of being alone is a great strength-"

"See! You  _ are _ just trying to lead me into the dark again!"

"Sora, that is not what I…" Xehanort's hand found his forehead in frustration. He wasn't upset  _ with Sora _ per say, but rather the apparently many who had lead the boy to  _ this _ state. "You hardly need enemies with friends such as yours…" he muttered under his breath.

"What?" Sora had heard him fine, it just… didn't make sense.

Xehanort had near reached the end of his rope with this, the urge to get up and hunt down Sora's annoying anthropomorphic companion's getting extremely difficult to ignore. Of course, Xehanort's version of anger wasn't fiery rage, it was a cold and icy facade of calmness.

"You want a reason to trust me? Fine. Why not start with the fact that your so called friends are doing my job for me- their constant needling at your confidence and condescension has sent you hurtling towards the dark far faster than any elaborate scheme I could concoct. I do not need to drag you into the abyss, Sora, you are already there. Nevermind that we have found our thirteen without your help 86 times and counting."

Sora shrunk back, floundering for words as he tried to sort through his own internal contradictions. There was no way his friends were dragging him into darkness! Sure a lot of things Donald and Yensid had said… stung. A lot. But! "It's not their fault! And I'm  _ not _ in an abyss!" Sora finally shot back, though the confidence was short lived. "...and even if I was, it would be my own fault… "

Xehanort drummed his fingers irritably. "Why is it... that it is always 'Sora is so weak for being bested by Xehanort in the realm of sleep.' Why not 'Sora was defeated by our greatest, strongest foe, who no one has been able to defeat for a decade, while grossly outnumbered, which is perfectly reasonable.'" He huffed.

Sora blinked up at that. "I never… really thought about it like that before."

"Clearly."

And Sora, being Sora, found it much easier to focus one someone else and their problems rather than himself. "I guess… that is pretty insulting to you, isn't it…? Like... if everyone acts like I failed at something easy, and the thing I failed at was beating you, then that means everyone thinks you're easy to beat…"

Xehanort tensed ever so slightly. Of course he'd realized all that, but he wasn't so petty as to let base assertions about his strength frazzle him. But… having it spelt out like that was… frustrating. Even if it was helpfully endearing Sora to him.

"Hm." He agreed eloquently.

Nevermind no one ever said any such thing to Riku about Ansem. No one questioned the prowess of the  _ damned heartless _ .  _ Nevermind _ that he was bested by Sora when the boy was a  _ novice _ at best.

"Ehehe… sorry…"

"There's no need to apologize- you're not the one spouting nonsense."

Slowly, Sora's expression evened into something almost curious. Xehanort suddenly felt like the other boy was looking  _ through _ him somehow, and as someone who kept a carefully guarded mask over his emotions at all times it was more than a bit uncomfortable. Still, he held his ground, staring back at Sora with a perfectly manicured and even expression.   


Finally, Sora smiled.

"Alright! I trust you."   


Xehanort blinked once. That was… abrupt. But best not to look a gift horse in the mouth…

"Thank you."

But then again, Xehanort had never been particularly skilled at keeping his curiosity in check.

"...Why?"

Sora only grinned. "Well, if you wanted to prove you aren't a pushover, then catching me again isn't really gonna help much! Apparently, no one takes either of us seriously!"

Xehanort just stared, after a moment drumming his fingers on the table again. Sora logic was certainly flawed, but at least he… Sounded like himself. Even if it was… somewhat at his expense. He caught himself before he said something that would tank Sora's mood again- pointing out that at least the people who thought poorly of him were actual  _ enemies  _ would not be productive.

"If you say so." And for better or for worse the thinly veiled denial only made Sora grin brighter.

"Cheer up, Xehanort! Once we fix the time loop thing that'll have to count for something, right?" Sora assured.

And Xehanort wanted to respond, but he was suddenly finding it difficult to form words- thanks to the fact that Sora had  _ reached across the table and taken hishand _ during his last little pep talk. Sora's hands were so warm, and suddenly too much brain power was being directed into  _ not _ turning his hand to wrap around the other boy's.   


"I'm sure." Xehanort finally said. Though despite his efforts, the hints of sarcasm didn't quite reach his voice.

The spell was momentarily broken when Sora pulled his hand away. He perked up suddenly, having just realized something. "We never ordered drinks!"

Xehanort regarded Sora carefully at the outburst. Of course that was what Sora was worried about- not paradoxes or wars, but failing to remember to hydrate. Sora always worked best dealing with the most immediate problems, ever focused on what was directly in front of him. Really it was complementary to Xehanort's own strengths- while he was better suited to focus on long term goals, planning, and carrying out steps, Sora was able to whatever was around him to improvise, part of the plan or not. He was certain Sora would find solutions to problems Xehanort himself would have overlooked because they were not taken into consideration in his original designs. And to think there were fools that thought this made Sora 'simple'.

All the while Sora flagged down a waitress, temporarily back to his bubbly self and unperturbed by the battles of the future.

Xehanort smiled.


	4. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xehanort helps Sora make plans to break the loop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP I EXIST. I'm sorry this took so long everyone. I really am planning on continuing everything I have, I'm just at the doctors like, at least twice a week at this point. Its a mess. I'm already working on the next chapter, hopefully it will be out sooner than this one. Thank you all for all your support.
> 
> Also feel free tho hit me up on tumblr at blackmageelgin.tumblr.com
> 
> (also AO3 straight up how much do i need to donate for u to fix the return spacing issues in your editor like i will pay for it just please)

Sora immediately drained half of his lemonade while Xehanort politely sipped at his tea.

"So." Sora began as he practically slammed the glass back down.

"So?"

"We got kind of sidetracked- which was pretty much my fault- but now that we got all of that out of the way we can finally decide on how to beat this!"

Xehanort gave a small smirk over his tea. Sora was so cute when he was enthusiastic. "Agreed. Where would you like to start?"

And this time rather than shy away from the decision Sora gave the question serious thought. Though as he did Sora's smile- much to Xehanort's disappointment- began to slowly fade. "...before you said the loop revolves around me… does that mean… it could be something I do…?" 

Xehanort had never had trouble lying in the past, but the guilty expression that had overtaken Sora made the answer…. Difficult to deliver. After all, the likelihood that this was somehow tied to Sora's blatant abuse of the power of waking was quite high… but he couldn't just tell Sora his friends were destined to die… at least not without setting the conversation back again. "That is… certainly a possibility. Especially considering I have no knowledge of how the loop ends- every time I am defeated and you press forward. It does not seem to be a long period, but anything could happen." That was… most of the truth.

Sora's face hardened into one of concentration. He was quiet long enough Xehanort continued.

"...although it does not guarantee that either. You have been a person of interest for some time now. Something could be trying to use you, target you, or have latched onto you… or your own unique circumstances could simply have resulted in your immunity to the paradox manifesting in this way."

"...but it's focused on me either way, right?"

"So it would seem."

Finally Sora looked back up at him, determined. "So then, what happen if I go completely off the rails?"

"Elaborate."

"Well, if I just… go so far off of what I'm 'supposed' to do-" complete with air quotes. "Wouldn't that help things? Like, make it harder for whatever it is to keep working, or make it easier for you to find it?"

Xehanort raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I certainly hope you aren't about to tell me you plan on joining the organization after all of the grief you just gave me." He doubted that was the case, but it was the most 'opposite' thing Sora could do 

Sora pouted. "What- of course not! That's not gonna help anything!" Sora huffed after, pausing to try and be sure he got his point across better this time. "...Okay. I know you said we shouldn't…uh, 'give up the advantage of knowing the future', but you also said that... like, everyone else always winds up doing what happened last time anyway? So could we… um…" As Sora continued fumble with words his confidence began to wane. Did what he was saying even make sense? He'd asked for Xehanort's help because he was the one better at planning stuff… "...nevermind. I'm not sure it'd make any sense…"

Xehanort's expression fell at the same rate of Sora's mood. He couldn't help but feel guilty- he had been largely joking before, but it seemed that had been enough to knock Sora's confidence back down… "No Sora, I told you before that I value your opinion. Even if what you have thought of is flawed that does not mean it is unsalvageable or without merit."

Sora briefly bit his lip and continued to hesitate, hiding behind his lemonade. Xehanort sighed and set his tea back carefully on the saucer, then reached across the table to gently urge Sora to do the same with his drink. Really how long had Sora been this anxious? Xehanort was beginning to wonder if Sora's graces with impulsive judgement were rooted in some sort of dark coping mechanism. If he bogged himself down this much every time he tried to think of the future it was no wonder he had finally shattered in the final battle…

"I am here to help you, not tell you you gave me the wrong answer. Any holes you think whatever plans you've thought of have, we will find a way to patch. Really, if anything the fact you can recognize those potential flaws yourself is a strength- it means you are thinking ahead."

Sora took a moment to absorb that sentiment. He was just… still struggling with being told something between 'just follow your heart!' and 'you’re wrong/stupid/rash/an idiot/etc'... Sora himself was starting to realize the weight of the contrast now- not just that Xehanort was 'weirdly nice for a villain' but maybe that some people had been 'weirdly mean for a hero'. Not that he allowed himself to dwell on it for more than a second, Sora would still default to his tried and true denial.

He took a deep breath. "Well, what if we just run off together? Just… don't do the whole thing. Would you be able to tell if someone is suspicious if that keeps them from doing a lot of the main things that happen? I mean, I'd like to think people would start looking for me, but there's so much else going on, even if they did look for me Riku would still have to go look for Aqua and they probably won't let Kairi or Lea leave until their training is done… and- I don't know how the organization works, but you're here now? You could just… tell them your corrupting me or something right?"

And for all that Xehanort was legitimately invested in Sora's mental well being and his proposal, for a long moment he had significant trouble processing much else beside 'just running off together'. His heart frankly did not care if this course of action was any kind of helpful, let alone plausible, _he was going to make it happen. _Never in his wildest imagination had he expected Sora to willinging abandon _every one _of his precious friends to _elope _with him-

...and that was perhaps a bit _too _embellished, but that's what it _felt _like. Fortunately, he still had enough sense to pick things apart to ensure there would be some degree of success. The last thing he wanted was Sora coming to the conclusion that this was an elaborate plan to kidnap him if there were no results…

And it _hadn't _been, really. And it wasn't _kidnapping _because it was _Sora's idea _and he was coming _completely willingly._

He just couldn't pass up the opportunity to be Sora's sole companion for an extended time.

And he most _certainly _was not giving into the small lecherous part of him that had been far too excited by the prospect of 'corrupting' Sora. That he had batted down immediately. There was a time and place...

"Ah, but they would only look for you _if _they knew you were missing in the first place." He proposed ominously, and perhaps his smirk was just a _bit _too wicked for current company. 

Sora however, was just confused. "But Donald and Goofy are obviously going to notice!" Though after a moment his expression grew concerned. He didn't _think _Xehanort would suggest they hurt them just because he seemed too smart to think Sora would be okay with that, but he… sort of looked like how evil cackling sounded right now…

Xehanort attempted to reel it in as soon as he sensed Sora's discomfort. "Worry not. I don't believe anything nefarious would be necessary. I'll admit, my first thought was a sleeping spell, which I can understand may be extreme by your standards… but Sora, do you not have the only means of outside communication and access to their only transportation…?"

Sora shot up at that. "You want to just strand them here!?" He had to admit, it wasn't exactly _evil _\- it wasn't like Corona was a dangerous world, it was probably high on his list of favorites now actually- but stranding them was still kinda… douchey.

"There are far worse worlds to be stranded on. And it would not be forever- as soon as we had answers you could retrieve them. If anything went awry you could easily claim I had taken you by force."

Sora looked uncertain still, but more like he was trying to consider the consequences than it being simple reluctance. "...but what if that just turns into me doing all the same stuff that normally happens, but with you instead? Will that help?"

"Well, for one we would be free to search any worlds for clues with no pretense. Besides that, if whatever is causing this does has some specific plan in mind, such a carefully placed wrench might make them easier to spot."

Sora tilted his head a bit. "What do you mean?"

"If we create a situation where nothing has visibly changed to the majority of people, if someone begins acting off script it will be exceedingly suspicious, don't you think?"

"Ooohh…" Sora crossed his arms and thought about it, looking up at the ceiling. "But… what about the organization? If you tell them your kidnapping me, they'll know things are different… and if you don't won't they get mad at you for just disappearing? Plus, if Marluxia is anything to go by we'll be running into them every other world."

Xehanort hummed. Sora have very valid questions, and while he knew intuitively that the organization's part would not invalidate the plan, vocalizing that logic in an even remotely concise way was difficult…

"I think… to answer that, I will have to divulge one of the organization's greatest kept secrets." Xehanort began dramatically, picking up his tea again. Sora leaned in with an expression radiating curiosity and awe. Really he didn't expect Xehanort to actually tell him what it was, but it was _phrased _like he was going to. Xehanort took a calm sip of his tea.

"...it's an utter shit show."

"Wh-_ whaaaaat _??" Sora balked. That sure as hell wasn't what he was expecting, and besides that, how did that explain anything!?

"The four of us that are actually me make up an inner circle of actual competence- with the occasional honorary addition of Vanitas. As while he has personal goals, they overlap almost completely with my own. Given the Organization's prime directive is to summon Kingdom Hearts, the likelihood they are contributing willingly to an anomaly preventing that goal is extremely unlikely. Besides that, to be frank, if this is the doing of Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, or my eldest self, we are not going to succeed with a plan only spanning one loop regardless. The rest of the organization, however, brings the idea of 'just needing extra bodies' to a gross literal. They all have their own goals and objectives- the organization is no more a means to an end for them as they are to us. They would all defect on a dime- several of them will and have- they found themselves on our side simply because at the time we were more convenient than yours."

Xehanort paused to let Sora absorb the information. Joking aside, knowing the structural instability and interior ranking of the organization _was _an actual secret, technically- given the number of the old organization that now readily aided the heroes it was not a difficult deduction.

Sora looked like he had just been slapped. He sputtered a bit as he digested the information before finally speaking. "But- okay. If they all have their own evil plans doesn't that make them _more _suspicious!? How does that help!?"

Xehanort gave an apologetic smirk. "We often act on given missions, but my position will make it simple enough to act as an independent operator without the majority knowing-"

"So what you- you just walk up to Xemnas and go 'hey I have extra secret plans, don't tell anyone I'm gone??"

Xehanort shrugged. "Something like that." Poor Sora, this was hitting him much harder than he expected. "I would think at least some of Roxas' memories would have softened this blow for you."

Sora pouted a bit. Xehanort had a bit of a point… or actually... "...you know, now that you point that out, I think that might be _why _it's so frustrating..." He held a hand over his heart and looked down at it. Poor Roxas… "We'll get you out eventually…"

Xehanort's own expression evened at that. Of course that would frustrate Roxas, and he should know by now that the hearts trapped in Sora's are not buried as deep as many would like to think. But unfortunately, they had larger problems, for Roxas sake as well in a way- being freed only to land back trapped in his other as time rewound was a particularly cruel fate.

"Regardless… any we encounter on another world will be at least in temporary isolation. We will have a unique chance to evaluate our less loyal members one at a time. If we find nothing, I wouldn't even have to lie- like with Roxas it would just be another frustrating case of someone not savvy to the machinations of the higher ups."

Sora pouted a little, but it made enough sense. They'd get to test the most suspicious people, and if they got ousted it probably meant they found a big clue, right? So it would have been worth it. But…

"But if things are as messed up as you said, what if they tell someone anyway? Or tell someone on my side I'm with you?"

"For the former, it would be surprisingly easy to track the grapevine I assure you- it would still make it much easier to pinpoint any perpetrator." Xehanort answered easily. There were obvious cliques- not to mention nosey, weak willed sources of information like Demyx. Intentionally letting 'secrets' slip was very much a good way to find information. And it was much more imperative Sora's side remain ignorant than the Organization.

"As for your other point…" Xehanort began, before suddenly adopting a much harsher expression. "Sora, Riku allowed Ansem to possess him again."

Sora jolted in shock. Besides that that had come out of _nowhere _, he just- "Riku would _never! _He's way stronger than that now!" Sora insisted, complete with standing from his chairs and slamming his hands on the table. Several other patrons started.

Xehanort smirked politely and raised his tea in response to Sora's outburst.

It took Sora a moment before it clicked. "...oh." he sat back down slowly. "You really think no one would believe them?" And after another anxious moment. "...Riku _is _okay right?"

Xehanort shrugged. "As okay as anyone could be traipsing in and out of the realm of darkness. My heartless has his hands full with other matters currently, I assure you."

Sora relaxed and Xehanort got back to the point. "I am sure someone would go looking for you eventually if such a claim was made and you proved unreachable, but thanks to little Ienzo that will never be the case. Proof of your well being will always be but a phone call away."

"Oh yeah…" It was a good point. Sora wasn't sure if he was a good enough actor for that, but it might not even actually come up, right? Satisfied that any major holes in his plan had been plugged he grinned brightly at Xehanort. "Man, you really are good at this!"

Despite the tone of the conversation thus far Xeha let couldn't help but smile, almost sweetly, at Sora's kind words. He was always so earnest. 

"Thank you." He really did appreciate the compliment, but more than anything it was important to model for Sora how to take one. "So when would you like to depart? I understand if you want to see Rapunzel's story through to the end."

He rather pointedly didn't mention staying to say goodbye to his 'friends'- he didn't want Sora to lose his nerve. Not to mention they only seemed to reinforce the poor boys current fragility…

Sora's expression fell into deep thought. He hadn't _forgotten _about Rapunzel and Flynn, he just… hadn't thought that far ahead. "Well, I mean… her dream was to see the lanterns and we got her this far right? But the organization is still skulking around… uh- no offence."

"None taken"

Sora closed his eyes and furrowed his brows- honestly he was thinking so hard his head kind of hurt… "Oh! Wait, you know what happens right? You can just tell me if she'll be okay or not!"

Xeha smiled again as Sora continued to prove his intelligence. He could have told him before but… well, honestly he had just wanted to see how eager Sora was to move forward, with him, alone. "Rapunzel's situation resolves itself without much interference from you or Marluxia. Gothel does lose herself to darkness and takes the form of a heartless, but the other two will be more than enough to dispatch it, I'm sure. Besides, the organization has its own investments in Rapunzel's wellbeing- Marluxia himself would fell the beast before anything serious happened."

Sora looked confused for a moment, and Xehanort realized at this point he had yet to be informed of the 'new seven hearts' by the aforementioned nobody. But fortunately Sora simply accepted the organization bothering princesses- or princess like people, given he didn't know about Rapunzel's heritage just yet- as a normal, organizationy activity.

"Well, as long as he doesn't hurt her than I think things will be okay. You're right- Donald and Goofy can definitely handle themselves in a fight." But naming his friends caused Sora to hesitate again, his expression reflecting the loss of confidence plainly. He didn't really want to just leave them behind- it… wasn't like they would get _hurt _, but… it was too much like Kairi… he was so tired of having to leave his friends behind…

"Sora?"

Said boy jumped, startled out of his thoughts. "Oh, uh, sorry. I didn't mean to zone out like that…"

"No need to apologize."

It was at that moment Sora realized at some point in just the last two days he had learned to read Xehanort just a little better. The concern on his features were so subtle, but they were still there…

Sora rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Heh. Right…"

"...well then, are you ready to leave?"

Sora caught himself before he asked 'already?'. He just said he was okay leaving now- it felt kind of dumb saying he didn't think it means 'now-now'. "...uh… yeah. I guess so." But as he said it even Sora realized how wishy washy he sounded. He shook his head to clear it. This time when he responded, it was with determination. "I mean- yes."

"Alright." Xehanort left munny for their drinks on the table before standing. After that he made his way around the table, offering Sora his hand to help him stand. 

"Shall we?"

It was a perfectly ordinary thing, offering someone a hand out of a chair. But to Sora it felt somehow ominous. The quaint cafe backdrop seemed to fade away, and for a moment all he could see was Riku, years ago, holding his hand out to him the night they first left their tiny islands. He looked from the hand extended to him back to the other boy's face and found Xehanort- no devious smirk, not even dressed in the villainous black coat of the organization. He couldn't begin to describe the emotions the strange flash had cause, so instead he pushed them down.

Sora took Xehanort's hand.

***

It was easy enough for the two boys to make their way out of the city unnoticed. As they made their way through the forest to where the gummi ship had been tethered night had long since fallen, Corona's lanterns lighting the sky behind them. Sora looked back often, and Xehanort pretended not to notice.

"How much further?" Xehanort asked mostly to break the silence.

"Uhh… well it took us a while to get to the city, but that was mostly because we were with Rapunzel and Flynn… I think we're about… a little more than half way?" Sora answered. 

"Good to kn-"

"_ Heartless! _"

As Sora's outburst had so astutely noted, a small pack of heartless appeared before then. Sora summoned his keyblade, but before he could charge forward Xehanort stepped in front of him, holding his hand out to block Sora's progression. 

"No need for that."

"But-"

Indifferent to Sora's protest Xehanort walked forward into the frey. Or what should have been a frey- nothing attacked him, and much to Sora's surprise the older boy even went so far as to pat one of the dark creatures on the head no differently than one would approach a house cat. A moment later the heartless scattered.

"Oh. Right…"

Sora rather awkwardly lowered his keyblade and let it fizzle out of his grip. He sort of kept forgetting Xehanort was… _Xehanort _. As stupid as that sounded…

There was an award pause, and Xehanort was bracing himself for another unpleasant conversation about his status as a villain, but the question Sora asked wound up being… not unrelated to that, but far less direct than he was expecting.

"...If you can control the heartless, can't you stop them from hurting people? It's not like the organization has anything to gain from random villagers getting hurt… right?"

"Altruistic as ever, I see." Xehanort teased as the two fell back into step. "In all technicality, yes, but not on the scale that would be necessary to solve the problem you meant to propose."

Sora looked more intrigued than disappointed. "What do you mean?"

"While it is true that I and the others can control the heartless, the power has something of a… range. I only have direct control over something near by. It's true that I could summon a heartless and give it orders that would send it far away from me, but they are not as advanced as the Nobodies, if it strayed too far or spent too much time away it would forget and return to it's natural inclinations. And the heartless that do carry a more advanced intellect are far more rebellious. So unfortunately, there are simply too many heartless spread too far for someone with my inclinations to be able to accomplish such a feat. To be honest, I'm not sure it would even be possible to maintain on a level as localized as a single world."

And _there _was the disappointment. But it didn't last long- it seemed that the hypothetical nature of the conversation made it easier for Sora to jump into his usual optimism. 

"Well, if one person can't do it what if got a whole bunch? That way people could take turns so no one got too tired and then the range thing wouldn't be a problem, right?"

Xehanort raised an eyebrow in honest amusement. "Sora, my dear, are you proposing we domesticate heartless?" And maybe the 'my dear' was a bit much to let slip, but honestly Sora was_ too precious _. He couldn't help but find Sora's non violent solution to the darkness... personally endearing. His sweet Sora, finding ways they could cohabitate without even trying. He was honestly touched.

But rather than read it as a term of affection Sora thought it was meant to be condescending. His grin fell and he was quiet for a long moment before speaking up. "...you didn't have to be sarcastic…"

"I wasn't." Xehanort corrected when it became clear exactly how poorly that had gone over. "Sora, in all my years as a keyblade wielder I have not once heard something both as pragmatic and pacifistic as what you just suggested. It's only flaw exists in the eyes of those who refuse to let darkness be at all. As it stands now, any person intimate enough with darkness to control the heartless is seen as a threat in their own right."

Sora was still quiet after that. He… hadn't thought of that, which also felt stupid. All the people they knew who could control them were bad guys- and even though Riku could do it for a while he couldn't anymore… sure, Xehanort was apparently nice and stuff, by people like Maleficent didn't care who got hurt at the end of the day.

So he decided to left turn out of the subject all together.

"...'in all your years'? I thought you were supposed to be the young one." He teased a bit too brightly.

Which Xehanort noticed, but he decided to humor him. If for no other reason than the earlier topic growing a bit too close to home even for him… "Time travel aside, I am still older than you. And have been more 'classically trained', as it were. And do not take that the wrong way- you are more equipped to handle that blade than almost any school mate I had."

Sora pouted, but this time it was obviously for effect and not because he was legitimately upset. "_ Almost _any? I guess I need to step it up then!" And by the time he'd finished he'd broken out into another grin. "And you're not _that _much older than me! You're just… tall."

That earned Sora a laugh. Maybe because despite the brief dark turn Sora's earlier sentiment about heartless had still left him floaty.

Sora blinked and paused for just a moment. He had heard Xehanort laugh before, just… not like _that _. Like it was the first time he had heard him _actually _laugh because he was happy and Sora being a dork was funny and he was a _normal kid _. Which he wasn't, at all, neither of them were- but for just a moment, it was nice to pretend.

***

It wasn't much longer before they boarded the gumi ship. Immediately, Xehanort was transfixed. It wasn't technology he needed, persay- he had dark corridors for travel after all- but new technology was something worth studying, worth _learning _. And who knew, perhaps there would come a time when it would come of use to him… but for now it was just… 

"_ Fascinating. _"

Sora just sort of… watched, as Xehanort poked around the ship looking like a kid on Christmas. It was just hard not to- he'd thought him laughing before was surreal, but this was a whole other level. He was just so excited! Or well, excited for Xehanort at least. He did this thing where he'd stare at something really intently, then sort of trace over it without actually touching, like he had to be sure he knew how it worked before he did. And then he finally would, but it would be this very delicate little touch, maybe because he was afraid he'd break it if he wasn't sure what it was made of. 

It was… cute.

Was he allowed to think that anything the biggest bad guy the universe had ever seen was doing was 'cute'? Was that okay? Because he was pretty sure if Xehanort was a dog his tail would be wagging- this was the equivalent of excited puppy Xehanort. And puppies were just objectively cute. So… yeah.

"My apologies. I hadn't meant to get so... distracted."

Xehanort speaking broke Sora out of his thoughts. He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly self conscious of the fact he'd been outright staring. "Hey, no worries! You've never seen a gumi ship before, right? I was pretty excited when I first saw one too."

"Constructing a ship out of the membrane that separates worlds in order to traverse between them- it's ingenious, really." Xehanort answers as Sora finally took his seat in the pilot's chair.

"Yeah! And you get to help me fly it." Sure, he could manage without a co-pilot, but it would be a _lot _easier with one.

Xehanort blinked up at that, surprised for some reason. "...well, I look forward to you teaching me, then." and maybe, _maybe _it sounded a little sultry- not that he imagined Sora had much to teach him if that had been an innuendo, but that was neither here nor there.

Sora fidgeted awkwardly with the controls, because really, the idea of teaching Xehanort _anything _was just…Weird. Because Xehanort knew… a lot of things. Most things, honestly. So just knowing something Xehanort didn't was just… weird. But good weird? Maybe? At least the other boy seemed happy about it. 

"Uh, yeah!"

And he definitely wasn't having second thoughts. Wasn't thinking about the fact that he was leaving his friends behind. And _certainly _wasn't worrying about the fact that Xehanort suddenly stopped looking like 'excited puppy' Xehanort and a lot more like 'your abyss awaits' Xehanort. 

Like many things, Sora shoved it all down. He began his explanation of the controls and shortly after the two were off.


	5. Rage Form

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora learns about Rage Form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy managed to get this out super fast. Hopefully the next one will go as fast!

When they arrived in Monstropolis, it was Sora's turn to be awed by the scenery.

"We will have to be careful here." Xehanort warned ominously, urging Sora to keep moving.

"Huh? Why?"

"The inhabitants of this world are not human. We will not just stick out, but cause a panic if caught- it will be best to go unseen"

That made Sora think about Donald, but he tried to ignore it. "If they're not human, than what are they?"

"Monsters."

"Whaaaat??"

Xehanort smirked, looking over his shoulder at Sora as they hurried into the building. "Quite literally the monsters that human children are warned live under their bed. This world is unique in that it cohabitates with another- natural portals link the two. It's quite fascinating, but what's important for us now is that the inhabitants of this world see humans as a biohazard. I suppose, technically, that is less troublesome than disrupting your world order, but it would be… inconvenient, as I'm sure you can imagine."

Sora took a moment to process all that. It was… A lot. "So… the people of this world are monsters, who run away from humans like humans would if they saw monsters on most other worlds?" He tried to reason out. It sure was… backwards.

"That's right."

"...huh." It was… still weird, and he might freak out for a second if he saw one of the normal denizens of this world before it clicked that… that's what they were. But there were worse things. At least having to be stealthy explained why Xehanort had changed back into the organization coat when they landed.

Sora folded his hands behind his head with his typical grin. "Well then, I guess we'll just have to not get caught! And you're good at being all sneaky and stuff, so we'll be fine!"

Xehanort's smirk widened a hair. He had come to greatly enjoy hearing what Sora considered his talents. "I can't argue with that, I suppose."

It was at that point they finally made it into the building. Sora was distracted by how… Well mundane it was. It was like the lobby of an office building. A big fancy one sure! But it didn't seem particularly monstery.

"It's so… corporate." Sora commented as he looked around. It wasn't long before some heartless popped up, but he did his best to ignore his battle instincts. After all Xehanort could take care of them.

"Sora, look out!"

Or… not?

"I thought you could control the heartless!? What gives!?" Sora snapped back as he narrowly dodged an attack, keyblade appearing in his hand.

"They're not heartless." Xehanort responded, stepping between Sora and the remaining enemies.

Sora took a closer look, and sure enough, the symbol adorning them wasn't the Heartless' emblem. For a moment he worried they were the normal inhabitants of this world- Xehanort had said they were monsters- but that didn't… seem right. He didn't know what they were, but they sure were familiar…

"Then what are they!?"

"Unversed. I will explain once they've been dealt with." Xehanort responded cooly. He wasn't controlling them like heartless, but he was staring them down. Were they intelligent like the Nobodies were?

"Stand down, he's in my custody." Xehanort said to the Unversed, but one just lashed out at him in response. He was able to block it easily, but he still gave a frustrated sigh.

"Fine. But you brought this upon yourself." He warned ominously before attacking. Sora didn't have much time to think about all that before being dragged into the frey himself.

The battle was short at least. There weren't many of them, and Xehanort was unsurprisingly strong. Honestly, Sora wondered if it was his time powers that had made it all go by literally too fast.

"So what was that about?" Sora asked as he desummoned his keyblade.

Xehanort paused, trying to figure out the most concise way to give this particular history lesson.

"The Unversed, unlike other enemies you have faced, only answer to one person and are directly linked to him. That person is Vanitas. He is… temperamental."

"Oh…" Sora crossed his arms and took a moment to think that over. Whenever Vanitas came up, whether it was Yensid or Xehanort talking, it always made him feel… Off.

"But… didn't you say he was on your side? I mean, he's in the organization obviously, but your side in the organization, or whatever." Xehanort's earlier explanation of the organization's internal politics had been a lot to follow, but he was pretty sure he had it straight…

Xehanort smirked dryly, brushing off the arm of his coat. "Oh, this isn't traitorous behaviour, I assure you. The fight wouldn't be over if it were."

Sora huffed. "So what, he's just making us fight those things for fun!?"

"More or less."

Sora looked incredulous at that. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he couldn't quite get to words. Apparently the organization really was a shit show…

Xehanort reached out and pat him on the back, a touch intended to recenter him. "As I said before, he is temperamental. At least we won't be bored." Dealing with Vanitas was technically less than ideal, but getting to watch Sora fight so closely was, well, more in line with Xehanort's personal motivations at the moment.

***

Despite the regular harassment of the Unversed, their exploration of the world had thus far been uneventful. There were no clues or leads on anything related to the paradox they were trapped in. Xehanort honestly hadn't expected to find anything, but it was a unique world so it was well worth being thorough. And besides, more time with Sora was hardly something to complain about.

Currently they were in yet another bout with Vanitas' misplaced aggression. The fights never took long, but they were growing increasingly… tedious. Still, fighting alongside Sora was almost like dancing with him- Xehanort was unsure which he preferred.

Sora dodged a strike from a Flood and Xehanort was able to sweep in and fell the thing. The same movement left a Flowersnake's attack connecting only with the air that occupied where Xehanort once stood, and Sora was behind the thing and dispatching it in moments.

Unfortunately, as the numbers dwindled two more Turtletoads appeared to fill out the ranks. Xehanort sighed and Sora let out a whine that sounded like it might have been 'aw man!' or something similar. 

Xehanort readied to charge in, but was suddenly blindsided by an Archraven. That wasn't supposed to be here, and was most certainly the product of Vanitas deciding to personally make his life difficult. His key shifted into it's whip form, now easily able to extend to where the annoying creature had flown off too. He turned back to Sora's side of the frey, but what he saw wasn't the boy's graceful fighting.

Sora was shrouded in darkness.

He'd seen it before, Sora taking on the inky, heartless-like form as he fought alongside his companions. But he had never seen it so close. For a moment he simply stood and watched- awestruck as Sora positively destroyed what was left of the Unversed. 

But when Sora didn't immediately revert after, he became… concerned. Yes, he had seen it before, but always at a distance. He understood the theory behind what was happening, but had never been able to test it, because it was an anomaly caused by Sora's impossibly unique circumstances. It was something he didn't have all the answers to, and that was equal parts terrifying and thrilling.

He walked carefully towards the other boy, unsure how feral he'd become, unsure if in this state Sora would remember that he wasn't a foe. Sora just stood and stared with wide, red, unblinking eyes. Xehanort held out a hand, the way one did to soothe a cornered animal. Sora's gaze seemed to flick to it for a fraction of a second before returning to his hollow stare. It wasn't much, someone else may not have noticed or taken it as a sign to back off, but it was still a reaction, and that's all he needed.

Xehanort had no real reason to be afraid of sweet Sora, heartless or no. He always felt uneasy when he didn't know something, yes, but that wasn't a fear directed at the boy in front of him. It was a real possibility Sora would attack him, he was aware of that, but that wasn't a reason for fear- Sora was strong, but he could be subdued, and it wasn't as though these episodes lasted for very long. Of course, he still didn't want to have to fight him, and least of all like this when he could be studying him.

He moved closer, combing his fingers through the darkness wafting off of Sora's skin. This time Sora seemed to shrink back.

"You're alright." Xhenaort cooed sweetly, letting his hand push through the darkness to rest on the other boys shoulder- something he was sure none of Sora's other so called friends would be able to accomplish. Gently he ran his hand down Sora arm, feeling it glide over the velvety darkness coating Sora's skin. It ended at the boy's hand, which Xehanort promptly took in his own and held it up to examine closer. The darkness was wrapped so tightly around him it was impossible to tell there was a human underneath, it was truly breathtaking.

Sora didn't try to run, had seemed to relax, but still swayed side to side nervously. Xehanort offered him a soft, kind smile- something Sora had never seen before and wouldn't remember- and combed his other hand carefully through Sora's hair. "There, there. Nothing to be afraid of." He promised, letting his hand rest on Sora's cheek.

And just like that it was over.

The darkness receded in the blink of an eye. Xehanort pulled his hands away the second he saw skin that was tan instead of blue, almost caught off guard by the abruptness. Sora blinked his eyes into clarity to see a very close, confused Xehanort, and none of what they had been fighting.

"Um…?"

"My apologies. You had an episode and I thought I might be able to understand how they function. Perhaps that is not the most… Sensitive reaction." Xehanort explained awkwardly. They had come so far, he didn't want Sora thinking he was using him now…

"An… episode? What are you talking about?"

And it was then, looking at Sora's scrunched up eyebrows and worried eyes that he realized.

"...they never told you?"

Xehanort left the statement as a question out of politeness. He knew Sora's fits had predated his arrival in this time by quite some breadth. The idea that no one had ever explained to the poor boy he was regularly turning into a heartless…

Xehanort looks up towards the ceiling in exasperation. "You-"

And then he noticed a security camera.

"...it would be easier if you saw for yourself."

"Wait, what? What's going on? Saw what?"

But rather than an answer Xehanort simply grabbed Sora's hand and began dragging him off. 

"Xehanort!" Sora whined, but despite earlier fears that was as far as Sora's protests went.

It didn't take long for Xehanort to lead them to a room full of security monitors. They would have had to come to this place eventually regardless to delete the footage, but now they had more… pressing matters.

"One moment." Xehanort said before Sora could ask another question. He quickly worked the computer, much to Sora's surprise, and soon enough the footage of their earlier combat was being displayed on one of the screens.

"Watch."

"Uh… okay?" Sora agreed, doing as he was told despite the uneasiness of Xehanort's stare on him as he did. It was just… them fighting some unversed? Like they'd been doing all day? There- okay, there was one he hadn't seen before attacking Xehanort, but he didn't get what he was supposed to be looking fo-

And then it happened.

Sora watched himself get knocked back by one of the Unversed and skid across the ground. But instead of getting up he… he was suddenly covered in darkness, crawling up off the floor before launching himself at two Unversed like a madman. Xehanort seemed to notice half way through, after he took out the weird bird one, and just… stood out of his way. He didn't blame him- should he? Had Xehanort done this? It seemed like a Xehanort thing to do, but he- he'd definitely been completely preoccupied when it happened. And then when the fight was over he was just stuck like that, and it looked like Xehanort was trying to calm him down. He didn't… even look like he even knew what he was supposed to do. If it had been his fault, he'd be able to control it right? Xehanort said he had an episode. Had this… happened before? What…

"...rewind it."

"Sora…"

"Please?"

Sora didn't look at him, his eyes were still glued on the video as the staticky image of Xehanort quickly pulled Sora off screen.

"...alright."

So Xehanort rewound it, and Sora watched it again. This time when it ended he just… kept staring, not saying anything. Xehanort gave him his space, his time to process, but he so desperately wanted to wrap the poor boy up in his arms and get him to stop looking so… heartbroken.

A long silence passed before Sora spoke.

"That… wasn't you." It wasn't a question, Sora knew the answer, but Xehanort gave him one anyway. He knew Sora needed to hear it.

"No."

"And it's… happened before."

"Yes."

"...how many times?"

Xehanort paused, because he couldn't give Sora an exact answer. It was long enough that Sora turned to look at him, and it was almost too much to bare. Words began to flow the moment he saw those tears threatening to fall.

"Dozens, maybe a hundred or so times. I… believe the first record the organization has was during a visit to Radiant Garden, while you were working against Xemnas' organization."

Sora's eyes went wide. Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn't been that. A single beat of silence passed.

Sora finally snapped.

"Did I ever have a chance at passing the Mark of Mastery!?" He shouted as tears finally began to pour. "What was the point!? Why harp on Riku for all those years about the darkness and not even tell me something was happening!? Did they want me to join the organization? Did Yensid just want me out of his hair!? Is- is this why they won't let me go to the Realm of Darkness!? Is the Power of Waking just what stops that!? Why-" and then his voice cracked, throat choking on a sob. His next words were much quieter. "Why didn't they tell me…" and then finally he broke down, standing there sobbing so hard he couldn't get the words out anymore.

Xehanort's heart broke a little watching Sora this time. He hadn't expected his breakdown to be triggered so many worlds before the Badlands, but he supposed it… made sense. It wasn't the same as losing your friends by watching them blink out of existence in front of you one by one, but in the end he was still… losing many of his friends. All at once, through betrayal. And Xehanort knew all too well that in many ways that was worse.

"Sora…" He called softly, gently reaching out to wipe away one of Sora's tears only for more to replace it. Sora sniffled, suddenly wiping at his face as though he had just realized someone else was there. 

"I- I know. No sad faces…" he blubbered out. Xehanort let the pain of that show plainly on his face. Even at a time like this Sora still thought he had to put on a front…

Xehanort finally gave into the urge to wrap Sora up in his arms. He pressed the smaller boy's head gently to his chest, petting his hair soothingly. 

"It's alright. Let it out."

And Sora did, the words hitting his ears seemingly enough to open the floodgates once more. Sora clung to Xehanort desperately, because for the first time in a long time, someone had finally told him he was allowed to cry.

***

They just stood like that for a long time, even after Sora stopped crying. If Sora didn't move, Xehanort wasn't going to, he would just keep on petting the other boys hair until Sora decided he was done.

Xehanort felt Sora take a deep breath before he finally pulled away. It wasn't far, just half a step, and Xehanort's arms were still hovering around his shoulders. Sora's eyes were puffy, hair was stuck to his face, and there was a line in his cheek from the seam of Xehanort's coat. 

"Feeling better?"

Sora looked like he was struggling to find an answer before he finally blurted out "You're a good friend."

Xehanort felt the heat rising to his cheeks immediately, and for once he was unsure if he had the means to stop it. His dear Sora didn't just think of them as allies, he thought of them as friends. His heart swelled at the word, enough so he feared it would burst from his chest. True, what he really wanted was more than, but he didn't have to be greedy- this was already so much more than he had ever hoped for. It felt inappropriate, because Sora was still suffering, still needed his help, but he was… happy.

"...thank you."

And then Sora smiled at him- not a big, bright, goofy smile, just a small, honest little thing. It made his heart melt. 

But it only lasted a moment.

"Do you… know what's wrong with me?" Sora finally asked, his whole expression sinking into something tired.

Xehanort wanted to insist that the answer was nothing- nothing was wrong with Sora, Sora was perfect, bouts of enveloping darkness and all. But Xehanort realized that would be… unproductive, so he bit it back.

"For once I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you what I do know."

The way Sora looked at him made him happy and hurt all at once. His eyes were so wide, and so tired, and he was watching him like he was the only thing that had hope for him. He wanted to hug him again, but he didn't, instead leaning against the desk as he began to explain.

"Initially, it was suspected that it was simply your Drive malfunctioning- a suspicion I assume was shared by both sides. But it continued to happen, up until the day you defeated Xemnas. And while you seemed free of the affliction in the Realm of Sleep, on this journey it has happened… many times, as I have been able to see for myself. I am told there are some differences between how it presented before and now, and that is likely due to the loss of your Drive as a conduit- it may not have been causing it, but there was clearly some sort of interaction."

Xehanort paused, letting Sora process that. Really he had started with information less… direct that what Sora was actually asking for just to be sure the poor boy would be able to handle it all. But he did, Sora looked determined as he took it all in- he really was stronger than so many gave him credit for.

"...So if it wasn't Drive, what was it? Even if you don't know for sure, you have a theory, right?"

He did. But he also knew Sora wouldn't like it.

"...If you recall, you spent… some time as a Heartless. And while it's true you regained a human form thanks to Kairi and the interlopers in your heart, Roxas- your body- had already formed and joined the organization. So during all that time- when you fought Ansem, closed the Door to Darkness, up until the day you woke in Twilight Town after a year of slumber, you were still, technically, a Heartless. Not unlike Ansem himself- even if you appeared human on the outside, it was darkness and other unstable forces that held your corporeal form together. While it is only a theory, as you say, my best guess would be that your episodes are a side effect from… that."

And Sora just stood there, quiet for a long time. Xehanort could see his mind churning behind his eyes, so many questions floating around and answers being connected together. 

"...oh."

Xehanort tentatively rested a hand on Sora's shoulder, Sora leaned into it before turning to face him.

"...is there a way to fix it?"

And this time Xehanort let himself push back. "Is it really something that needs fixed? You have yet to hurt an ally, all bouts have proven concisely finite, and there have been several instances where it very well may have saved your life. The darkness isn't something to be feared. It is your darkness, Sora, it has no reason to hurt you."

Sora seemed surprised by that answer, but after a moment a grin pulled at the corner of his lips.

"That sounds unbiased." He finally teased.

And for a moment Xehanort was nervous- he certainly hadn't expected to be called out directly like that, but it seemed… fine? Sora looked like he was trying not to laugh, like it was an inside joke rather than an accusation. Xehanort decided to play along.

"I am the absolute picture of unbiased objectivity, I assure you." He deadpanned, and this time Sora actually laughed. That was good, he needed something to cheer him up…

When Sora finished Xehanort squeezed his shoulder gently. He should probably stop touching him so often, but it was… hard.

"I… don't believe it is entirely in my current skill set to make your episodes go away, but I can help you control it, if you like. Teach you to refine those powers. There's no guarantee, but perhaps your darkness having another outlet will ease the ailment. That could be why it never happened in the Realm of Sleep."

Sora thought back, remembering the smattering of dark magic that somehow wormed its way into his abilities on the sleeping worlds. It hadn't been much, but after returning he'd thought I had all been Xehanort's fault- more ways he'd tried to drag him down. But…

"You didn't do anything to me back then, did you."

Xehanort raised an eyebrow, guilt threatening to rise as Sora began giving him too much credit.

"I tried to possess you."

"Before that." Sora corrected, trying not to pout. "I kept learning dark magic, I thought it was because of you."

And then Xehanort understood. He shook his head. "... I was little more than the siren's call that lead you further into the abyss. All the darkness you found there, that abyss was your own- not mine or any other foreign entities. If there hadn't been darkness in you to begin with, we would have targeted someone else."

Sora nodded, taking it all in. For the first time he was truly facing the darkness in his heart. Xehanort was trying his hardest to be supportive without pushing him one way or the other, if for no other reason than to spite those who had hurt Sora by doing just that.

"...am I more messed up than Riku?"

"I maintain that your darkness does not make you 'messed up'- but to answer your question, I would estimate you have been affected about the same. The difference is Riku did have his darkness tampered with, and then chose to face it head on- a process that left many scars but ultimately lent him great strength. You have silenced your darkness by pushing it down and doing your best to lock it away, which due to sheer circumstance has now left you with the side effects you currently face."

He really, truly, hated having to talk about Riku, but it was what Sora needed to hear. The least he could do was not be petty at a time like this. "...if it's any consolation, a near century ago that approach would have made you the Master, not him."

That grabbed Sora's attention, his head shooting up from where he'd been staring off. That still wasn't fair- because Riku did deserve to be a Master. He wasn't jealous, he really wasn't, he was just… what? Mad? Frustrated? At getting left behind- at having none of his accomplishments over the last two years matter, at… at being separated from Riku and Kairi again because of… of stupid rules that didn't make any sense! He didn't care about the title, but he cared about what came with it- being able to follow Riku into danger and fight by his side.

By the time he spoke again, he was staring at the floor. "That's… stupid."

"It is." Xehanort agreed. Because Sora was right, it was stupid.

Finally Sora took a deep breath, finally peeling the hair off his face and trying to wipe the tracks away. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Teach me how to darkness, Xehanort."

Xehanort was surprised, but he was happy. Sora had accepted him- had accepted his help and seemed well on his way to accepting his ideals. It was more than anything he had ever hoped for.

"Alright."


	6. Your Shadow Is Never Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora and Xehanort finally encounter Vanitas
> 
> or
> 
> Xehanort's turn ons are long talks about moral philosophy and brunette twinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to alyss-c on tumblr for taking the time to make such wonderful recreations of this fic in the recently released data greeting mode, and all of my wonderful beta readers (you know who you are)!!! Thank you all so much for the ongoing support <3

"Are you going to get in trouble for this?"

Xehanort raised an eyebrow at Sora's question. As promised he had begun teaching the other boy dark magic. Just the basics for now- after all, too much at once might cause Sora to transform again.

Sora fidgeted at the look the taller boy gave him. "Well I mean, wouldn't me turning into a heartless randomly be good for the organization?"

Xehanort hummed, at least he understood where Sora's concern came from now, but it was still misplaced. "Yes and no. While it would have undoubtedly been beneficial while we had been trying to induct you into our ranks, that is no longer a necessity to our plans."

"Huh?"

"As I mentioned before, by the time of the battle the organization will have more than thirteen darknesses at its disposal, it always does. We need you to be one of the lights."

Sora crossed his arms as he processed that, staring up at the ceiling of the hall they'd found themselves in. 

"But then… wouldn't me showing up with a bunch of dark magic mess that up?"

Sora tilted his head quizzically as Xehanort shook his head no. "What I am teaching you is how to channel and harness the darkness that is already there. We are not adding to it, we are not making you any more or less dark than you were before. Besides that, contrary to popular belief, the strength of one's darkness does not always directly impact the brightness of one's light- I am quite adept at some white magic as well, you know."

Sora thought about that for a few moments before suddenly smiling brightly. "Thanks for helping me, Xehanort!"

Xehanort found it hard to look directly at Sora like that- it was like looking into the sun. He willed down another blush and focused his gaze ahead. "Think nothing of it."

"No- really!" Sora insisted. A second later Sora placed a hand over his heart, his expression something serene as he closed his eyes. "I think… I'm starting to get it. You and Riku are both so strong and so kind. Darkness isn't all bad it’s just…" and he paused, finally opening his eyes again. "...It's a lot like cinnamon."

Which of course was not at all how Xehanort was expecting Sora to end his heartfelt speech. "Like… cinnamon."

Sora perked up as he began to explain, after everything not hours before now back to his bubbly, bouncy self. "Well yeah! If you try to eat just a spoonful of cinnamon you choke! But it's a really important thing to mix into other foods! And like, you can't put it on everything- like, putting it in mac and cheese would be gross- but that doesn't mean it's bad! A world without cinnamon rolls would be terrible. You and Riku are like cinnamon rolls! Something with a lot of cinnamon that's really good."

Xehanort thought he felt his heart stop as Sora said, albeit indirectly, that he thought the world would be terrible without him. And not just that, but because he had come to the conclusion on his own that darkness was a necessity, just something that had to be used in moderation. Despite the childish metaphor it was a more mature outlook on the balance between the forces of light and dark than he had heard possibly in his entire life, and frankly it left him afraid he was going to swoon. While the continued mention of Riku did admittedly stoke the flames of his jealousy, the fact that Sora seemed to be putting him on the same level as the other boy had to be some kind of victory.

"I suppose you're right. Though your choice in metaphor makes me wonder if we should have gotten more than drinks at the cafe in Corona- it might be some time until we find another world with sweets," he finally teased- though talking was almost difficult, like there wasn't enough air in his lungs with his heart beating so fast.

"Hey, I'm being serious!" Sora insisted, but he was grinning all the same. "...I mean, even if darkness is made of things like pain and sadness… it's feelings those things and remembering how they feel that lets us empathize with other people, right? So in a weird way, it's darkness that lets us help people… I guess it makes sense I have a lot of it then, I know I wind up getting caught up in everyone's stuff whenever I visit worlds. But… that's okay. If being able to help my friends means carrying around some darkness with me, it's worth it."

The way Sora said it was so simple and matter of fact, like he'd been talking about why the sky is blue. Xehanort just stared. If he had fallen hopelessly for Sora before, now he- he wasn't even sure a phrase like 'madly in love' would begin to express what he felt. It was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to just pull Sora to him right then and kiss him senseless. Sora understood something intuitively that had taken many others lifetimes to even begin to comprehend. He was truly an immaculate creature…

"Uh… sorry if I got it wrong. You're the expert on that sort of thing…"

For a moment Xehanort was confused, because he literally couldn't comprehend why Sora would think any of that was wrong- but then realized how long he'd been staring. Before he could stop himself he was turning Sora back to face him by cupping the other boy's cheek.

"No, it wasn't wrong. I-"

And Xehanort actually had to stop himself- put actual effort into not just saying 'I love you'. He hesitated, his face subconsciously drifting closer millimeter by millimeter. 

But when Sora just blinked up at him confused rather than miraculously reciprocating the nigh invisible signals Xehanort finally snapped out of it. His hand fell away from Sora's cheek and he took a step back. "...I just wish more people thought like you. Or… that I had met you sooner."

It was still far too honest of an answer. Sora was looking up at him with unfiltered sympathy. It was not helping his self control.

"Maybe… if I had stopped to talk- actually talk- with you in the Realm of Sleep, none of this would be happening…" Sora wondered.

Xehanort shook his head. "No. Fate would have still run its course. The events that were destined to happen would have, even if the path was different."

Sora frowned a little. "Maybe… but, we could have at least made the path easier, right? We're changing things now, that has to count for something."

Xehanort offered Sora a gentle smile as the other's wisdom seemed to wane back to naivete. His sweet, dear, kind hearted Sora, consumed with optimism for a world where there was no war. 

"I hope so."

For some reason that was enough for Sora to smile brightly again. Xehanort wasn't quite sure why, maybe it was because he had shown something akin to optimism for a change…

"So what's next?" Sora asked eagerly. Apparently discussions of waxing philosophy were done for the time being. That was… likely for the best. 

"Let's find some Unversed for you to practice what you've learned so far."

***

The Unversed didn't stand a chance as Sora swung his keyblade with a dark flair trailing after it. It was hardly more than the small bits of dark magic he'd used in the sleeping worlds, but even just relearning that was progress. 

When the last Flood of the pack had been felled Sora turned and cheered. Xehanort gave a polite call from the side where he'd been watching, having avoided most of the battles in favor of coaching Sora.

"Well done."

Sora beamed. "I'll have this stuff down in no time!" he declared boldly. 

"Don't get too cocky, now."

"I know, I know," Sora insisted as he finally made his way over to where Xehanort was waiting for him. He stopped in front of him only to start spinning his keyblade around and watch the little bits of black smoke trail off of it, obviously very proud of himself.

"But look! I can do it so easy now!"

It was impossible for Xehanort not to smile at Sora getting so excited over something so simple. He really was adorable. His cute little Sora, bouncing up to him and happily gushing over mastering a simple dark strike- it was almost hard to believe it was real.

"I mean, I'm just not as good with magic most of the time. It took me a while to really figure out just fire and blizzard… but for once I was able to figure out something fast! You're a really great teacher."

Xehanort's heart swelled at the praise. "Well, it helps that I have such a good student," He gushed right back. 

Sora looked honestly surprised for a moment, then scratched his cheek nervously. "...I think that's the first time anyone's ever called me that…"

And just like that Xehanort's smile shrank. Yet another thing to add to the long list of things Sora's former allies had done to him. "You are incredibly intuitive. Your mind moves quickly, which perhaps leads to you becoming easily distracted at times… but that is hardly a real setback, and a lack of focus shines more poorly on any teacher than you as a student. If you had trouble before, then it is only because whoever had been teaching you failed to take the time to understand how you learn."

Sora pouted a little, more because his anxieties were making Xehanort's words sound like false praise than because it was technically insulting to his friends. Merlin was a great teacher! But…Then again, he did usually have to wait until they wound up back in Traverse Town to talk to him before he really got the hang of things… Maybe Donald wasn't that good at teaching after all…

Sora shook his head abruptly, deciding it was better to not follow that train of thought. "Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you about something you mentioned before."

Xehanort considered not letting Sora change the subject, but the other boy generally seemed to know when distracting himself was an appropriate cure to his mental health, so he didn't press. "About the magic?"

Sora shook his head. "No, before that, when you were explaining the heartless stuff. You said it was thanks to Kairi and the 'interlopers' that I stopped being a Shadow, but you also said Roxas was off with the organization then. So… Who were you talking about? Does it have to do with all that 'your heart’s a prison' stuff you were being all cryptic about in the realm of sleep?"

As Sora asked he looked legitimately confused, like he thought he had the timeline wrong or something similar, when realistically he had asked all the right questions and put all the right pieces together. Xehanort was starting to wonder what Sora would be like if he hadn't been constantly put down by the others. But more importantly than that was the nature of what Sora asked. It was something he would have to learn by the end regardless, he just… wasn't entirely sure what the best way to frontload all of that information would be. 

"You are correct, both of those comments were referring to the same people, though naturally Roxas had been included in that number during our conversation in the sleeping worlds. But long before Roxas was split from you, you came to harbor another heart in your own. That person was-"

"Me."

Sora and Xehanort both whipped around at the sudden new voice, both turning to find a boy in a black coat and helmet perched atop the nearby wall of crates.

"Vanitas!"

The name left Sora's lips impulsively. He just… knew, even though he had only ever vaguely heard about Vanitas before, he knew in his heart that's who this was. It was a strange, dissociative feeling- because it wasn’t just knowing it was the compulsion to say it that he couldn't ignore.

"Hello Ventus," Vanitas called ominously from his perch. Xehanort sighed.

"Now isn't the time for this," he scolded dully.

"Oh, isn't it? You were just talking about me." Vanitas jumped down from his perch, landing what in Xehanort's opinion was far too close despite said perch being on the other side of the room. "Besides, I don't think you have room to talk about personal interest right now."

Xehanort's expression was perfectly even, but he was furious at the shit-eating grin he knew was hiding behind the smokey glass of Vanitas’ helmet, just the same as how Vanitas knew he was furious despite his own less literal mask. 

"Um, did you just call me 'Ventus'?" Sora finally tried to cut in. This was… terribly awkward. Normally dealing with someone from the organization was- well not easy, but he at least knew what he was supposed to do. But he was here with Xehanort, and Vanitas was his… friend? And they were supposed to be subtly figuring out about the paradox or something? It was kinda sad, but being called someone else's name was probably the least confusing part of this- he had gotten pretty used to that thanks to Roxas…

"Not you-"

"He was-"

Both Vanitas and Xehanort tried to answer at the same time and then promptly went back to… not-glaring at each other.

Xehanort sighed again. "What do you want Vanitas?"

"I want what's mine," Vanitas answered, unamused. Xehanort knew perfectly well what he was after, this whole situation was absurd.

"You're going to have to be patient."

"Oh like you are right now?" Vanitas shot back, nodding to Sora and only really acknowledging him as an accessory to the current argument.

"Stop jumping to conclus-"

"Can someone please explain what's going on?" Sora interrupted less politely this time. He regretted it immediately, having all the attention of a befriended but still currently aggravated Xehanort and largely unknown but hostile Vanitas on him at once being a bit too much. But before he could say anything else Xehanort spoke, once again to Vanitas.

"Take off your helmet."

Vanitas crossed his arms, clearly unamused. "Oh because that's going to help."

"It's the fastest way to explain," Xehanort countered. Vanitas still obviously disagreed, but he began to walk closer and allow his helmet to fade regardless- not to help, but to prove Xehanort wrong and watch the chaos that would undoubtedly ensue at Sora's reaction. 

By the time he stopped a foot in front of Sora only a small, unidentifiable part of his face had been exposed. He crossed his arms once more as the rest of his mask faded, slowly revealing Sora's mirror image.

It took Sora a moment to process, like it didn't immediately click he was looking at his own face sneering back at him. But once it did he reeled back, looking between the other two for answers. "Wait what!?"

And he hated to admit it, but he was sort of with Vanitas on this one- how did this help explain??

Vanitas just turned to Xehanort. "See? Look what you did to him," he mocked.

Xehanort smirked dryly. "I am giving you one last chance to speak for yourself as a courtesy, Vanitas," he warned. It would, as much as he didn't like it, be better for Sora to hear it from Vanitas himself. That was how it went in the Badlands anyway, and even if he did try to explain he would get interrupted and corrected incessantly.

Vanitas frowned, knowing full well that warning meant he had pushed Xehanort to the end of his rope. He turned back to Sora and began to explain. "16 years ago, you healed Ventus' heart when we were split without realizing. You filled in the missing parts where I used to be, and that's why we look the same, and Roxas looks like him. When the idiot decided it would be a good idea to take us both down with the ship, all the broken pieces of our heart went back to the place that had healed it the first time. And, apparently he's still there. I almost feel stupid for not figuring it out sooner, of course you'd run off to someplace sickeningly sentimental."

"Like you did better," Sora snapped back before he could help it. He immediately covered his mouth. Was that… Ventus? Vanitas was talking to Ven through him and Ven was actually talking back?? Well that explained why he felt so antsy when Vanitas got mentioned… and well, Vanitas explained… everything else. It was… a lot to take in…

As Sora's hand fell to his heart, Vanitas laughed. "Ha! Well apparently you learned something from the old man after all." He turned to Xehanort after. "It's a good thing you didn't actually make him a vessel, I think you would have gotten booted for overcrowding."

Xehanort gave Vanitas a pointed look to get him to shut up, his expression softening considerably when he turned to Sora. "Do you understand, Sora?"

Sora snapped up when he was addressed. Did he understand? He was pretty sure he followed it was just… surreal. "...So Ventus looks like Roxas?"

"That's what you took away from that?" Vanitas cut in.

Sora opened his mouth to respond and then hesitated because… Well, Vanitas wasn't wrong even if he was being mean- there were probably more important things to focus on… "Well- I just, I never had a face to go with the name before- everything else- I don't know, it makes sense! There's not really anything else to say right?" he tried to reason a bit exasperatedly. He… really didn't know how to deal with bad guys without being hostile...

Vanitas still looked like he was judging him, but at least he wasn't openly mocking him anymore. "Sure."

Sora fidgeted a bit as an awkward silence seemed to fill the air. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I… guess I should be thanking you…"

That caught Vanitas off guard, his face immediately contorting into confusion. "What?"

"Well, Xehanort said it wasn't just Kairi who helped me out when I was stuck as a Shadow. And if I was still technically a heartless and stuff- I mean, you’re all... darknessy, I guess- I dunno Yen Sid explained it- but uh, you know, it makes sense that you helped keep me being people shaped." It was a painfully awkward explanation, and now Sora was even second guessing he was right in assuming that.

Xehanort watched the two carefully because for once Vanitas was quiet. Not the usual, taunting, intentional silence he weaponized to attack people with anticipation, but a calculating silence that was much more becoming of Xehanort himself. 

Finally Vanitas answered with a shrug. "We're brothers. And even if you’re obnoxious, you're still more tolerable than little Venty."

Sora let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. That was… almost amicable, in a sort of roundabout way. It reminded him a little of when Riku was younger- maybe this would be easier than he thought. Finally Sora grinned. "Makes sense to me."

Xehanort, meanwhile, inched a bit closer to Sora, well aware of the complicated very not amicable relationship between Vanitas and the other he considered his 'brother'.

When Vanitas next spoke, it wasn't what Xehanort expected- which was the dark boy vocalizing his obvious displeasure at Sora's reaction- instead turning to Xehanort himself. "Alright, I played nice. How about you tell me what's going on here."

Ah yes. Vanitas was also smarter than most gave him credit for, but unlike Sora it was something Vanitas was acutely aware of and actively weaponized. "A situation has arisen that has given reason for the hero and the organization to lay down their arms, at least until it has been resolved."

Vanitas looked like he didn't believe him. "Really."

Xehanort was unfazed. "Time has been looping."

And just like that the contempt melted from Vanitas' face. "...That's what's been happening," he commented ominously before looking between Sora and Xehanort, putting the rest of the pieces together quickly. "So that's how it is."

Sora looked nervously at Xehanort. "Is it okay to just tell him?"

"If he was a part of this, he would have taken Ventus and left by now," Xehanort explained calmly, which unfortunately didn't seem to reassure Sora much. It reassured him about Vanitas not being the cause of time looping, sure, but it made trusting him… hard again.

"Speaking of, still waiting for a reason to not do that," Vanitas replied unhelpfully.

Xehanort sighed for the umpteenth time. "It would be troublesome if the timeline were disturbed too much. In previous loops, Sora manages to escape this world before you can do anything rash, and you are reminded of plans before you can do anything else rash. Besides, what point is there in claiming Ventus' heart when you don't know where the rest of him is?"

"I know where he is, but whatever Aqua did made him impossible to find," Vanitas snapped back, but he regained his composure quickly. "Fine, I see your point. I'll play along for now- I'm assuming you want me to tell the rest of 'you' you're up to something."

"That would be appreciated."

Vanitas rolled his eyes at Xehanort despite nodding, then turned to Sora with a much less readable expression. 

"Try not to let him have too much fun, handsome." And with that ominous and confusing warning Vanitas turned on his heel and began walking towards a forming dark corridor.

"Vanitas!" Xehanort snapped, but his protests were only met with cackling.

Sora meanwhile blinked a few times in confusion before registering that that was it, Vanitas was just up and leaving now.

"Wait! You're gonna go now?" Sora definitely had more questions. He couldn't quite keep them all straight in his head right now, and maybe Xehanort could answer most of them, but it… seemed like such an abrupt end.

Vanitas paused with one foot in the darkness, looking over his shoulder with mild shock that Sora called for him to stay. Eventually he smirked. "Don't worry, your shadow's never far. And with how intimate with your darkness you're becoming, I'm sure I'll be even closer."

And with one last short wave over his shoulder he was gone.

"Oh…" Sora answered after Vanitas left. He held a hand over his heart as he thought about it. It made sense, he had strong connections with a lot of people, but especially Roxas and- apparently Ven, and Vanitas too. Sure, people like Kairi and Riku were a part of the light, he was sure they were why his was so bright! But if he had a connection with Vanitas, it made sense it was through the darkness in his heart right? But that was okay! And he was working with his darkness now, so like Vanitas said, it made sense for that connection to be easier to follow in turn.

Finally Sora nodded to himself, turning to Xehanort to ask what they should do next only to find… the usually prim and proper Xehanort hunched with hand pressed over his face.

"Uh… you okay?"

Xehanort took a deep breath, forcing down his blush along with his urge to follow Vanitas and murder him. How did he know? Was it that obvious? Was it simply because Vanitas witnessed the last fleeting years of his affair with Eraqus and knew he had a type? Was it just Vanitas being crude for the sake of it and not even realizing? The last one seemed unlikely, Vanitas was too cunning, but that did not make him feel better about the situation. Did he really have to make such thinly veiled innuendos like that? And giving Sora some warning lecture as though he were actually his big brother. At least Sora hadn't seemed to pick up on it…

"I'm fine."

He lied. Through his teeth. Perhaps the biggest lie he had ever told. And being Xehanort, he had told many, many lies.


	7. An Act of True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xehanort and Sora arrive in Arendelle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh the last two chapters all of my text formatting got eaten so uh those are gonna get updated with the original italics included in the next week or so >>
> 
> also I was disproportionately upset at how ooc Kristoff was in KH3 I have taken liberties to correct this.

Sora and Xehanort sat in the gummi ship. The phone call with Ienzo had been stressful, to say the least, but Sora had gotten through it with minimal awkwardness or suspicion, any slip ups easily attributed to 'what Vanitas had said' during their encounter. Still, the toll that lying to his friends was taking was more than obvious.

"You did well." Xehanort offered as reassurance, resting a hand on Sora's shoulder.

The brunette nodded with a despondent hum, still staring down at the now black screen of his phone. "I just… wish I didn't have to- I know I do, just…" then again, Sora couldn't help but feel envious and _ nervous _ that Xehanort had just told Vanitas everything. It seemed like Vanitas sort of figured a lot of it out himself, but _ still _ … And Xehanort had been nothing but nice and helped him _ so much _, so the lingering suspicion flaring up just made feel guilty and-

"Once we make progress, you'll be able to tell them."

Sora looked up at Xehanort this time, taking a deep breath as he let the words sink in. Right, this wasn't forever. Just a little longer and then they'd have to ask others for help to catch or stop whatever it was. It'd be fine.

"Okay." he agreed finally, managing a smile. Xehanort always did seem to know what to say to make him feel better…

***

The world they landed on was _ beautiful- _ a winter wonderland covered in snow and dazzling ice. But it was also _ frigid _, and unlike Christmas Town he didn't have a fuzzy santa outfit to keep him warm. 

"Snow is great and all but why does it have to be so _ cold!" _He complained, hand flying to his arms to try and rub warmth in them.

"Its sand but cold, I'm not sure any view is worth that." Xehanort joked dryly, looking unamused at the puff of his breath in front of him. Two happy islanders Arendelle did not make.

Sora laughed a little. "Aw come on-" but before he could finish the thought something was being pulled over his head. "_ Wha-" _

When Sora looked down he realized he was wearing the same cloak Xehanort had been in Corona, said boy still dutifully pulling the front together and effectively tucking Sora in. "But, aren't you cold too?"

"My coat wards against more than darkness, and you are wearing a glorified tee-shirt." Xehanort replied easily. 

"Eheh, right…"

Xehanort finished tucking fabric into place and finally offered, "If you don't think it will suffice I have the tunic as well."

"No, this is fine!" Sora insisted, not wanting Xehanort to think he was being ungrateful. "Thanks!"

"Think nothing of it."

Sore grinned and then tucked his face down into the coiff- that was _ much _ better. And it smelled nice! It reminded him a little of what Riku smelled like- not that he _ knew _ what Riku smelled like, smelling your friends was weird, it just… sort of happened. Actually, since this was Xehanort's and he'd been wearing it, that would mean this was what _ he _ smelled like. Which meant he thought Xehanort smelled nice, and that was… Awkward, so he was going to just… stop thinking now.

"So uh, anyway, what now? What happens in this world? Less monsters right?"

Xehanort flashed an amused smirk before starting to walk- moving would keep them warm after all. "Yes." Ah but where to start to answer Sora's latest question?

"There are two main points you should know. First and foremost, the member of the organization stationed here is one of the most suspicious- Larxene. You have not yet been… formally acquainted, but any member of organization XIII is easily and traditionally identifiable."

Sora nodded. "Right. So we gotta get the drop on her. What's the other thing?"

Xehanort paused, looking at Sora beside him from the corner of his eye. He hadn't indicated Larxene was a 'her'... Buried deep they may be, Sora's memories of Castle Oblivion still rest in his heart, it seemed.

"...the other is her purpose here. Usually, you have already learned this from Marluxia, but your stay in Corona was cut short. The seven pure lights that once made up half of the X-blade have chosen new hosts. One remains with Kairi, but the other six were scattered. Rapunzel was believed to be one herself, and not one but two of the New Seven Hearts reside in this world."

"What!? So you guys are bothering _ more _ princesses?" Sora exclaimed, though he seemed to regret how he phrased it immediately. "I mean, not _ you _ but…"

Xehanort smirked, more amused and endeared by Sora fussing over him than anything. "In our defense, it's not our fault where the light chooses to reside." He wondered if it was some sort of passive aggressive defense mechanism, hiding away somewhere that any decent person blindly protect.

Sora soaked that in as well. "I never thought about it like that before…" that made it sound like it was the light dragging innocent people into things, but Sora wasn't sure that was really right either… "Wait- if you have the seven guardians, why do you need princesses?"

Xehanort shook his head. "We don't, but we have to be sure we have seven guardians. Otherwise there's nothing stopping your side from simply stalling. Or, if you think of it the other way, it's our own method of keeping from 'bothering princesses'."

"I guess…" It was still skeevy… but admittedly not _ as _ skeevy as it could be. It basically ended in a fair fight, so should he be complaining? If they went after the princesses first, he'd wind up fighting them all anyway, so it was almost like skipping a step? He sort of got it, but still…

".. Regardless, Larxene will be tailing the two girls suspected and be waiting for proof of their light." Xehanort chose to explain instead, they were in no way ready to have any sort of real conversation regarding the war for Kingdom Hearts…

And of course Sora was easy enough to distract. "So if we find them we find Larxene?"

Xehanort nodded. "But we will need to be careful. If we get too close we will alert her to our presence too early."

Sora hummed. "Well… there's two of them right? If they're not together now, maybe we can ask the one Larxene's not following if they've seen anything suspicious or know anything about her?"

Xehanort smiled. That wasn't a bad idea, from what he knew of this world's timeline Larxene _ shouldn't _ have revealed herself, but a deviation would be an easy red flag to spot. "Well, fortunately they should be apart for some time. Shall we then?"

Sora beamed, excited that he had apparently come up with a plan even Xehanort thought was good. "Yeah!"

***

Xehanort lead Sora though the snowy mountain paths. He explained the rest of what was 'supposed' to happen along the way, a reference for Sora so he would know what to look for as suspicious. Soon enough they found one Anna and Kristoff. It was the same clearing that they were supposed to meet Sora in- while they had very much taken a different path to get there, the timing had worked out much the same.

He clapped Sora on the arm before they got much closer. "Let me do the talking and play along."

"Oh, um, okay?"

"You're highness!" Xehanort called as the two finally approached. Anna looked over from where she had been leaning down to talk to Olaf, surprised to see someone else out in the storm.

"Oh! Oh no- no one was supposed to follow me!"

"Well, their princess did run off head first into a blizzard…" Kristoff pointed out unhelpfully. Anna huffed at him before turning her attention back to the other two.

"I appreciate it, really, but you should both head back to the city where it's safe, I can handle this."

Xehanort bowed before shaking his head, Sora awkwardly copying the motion as he watched the other boy. "Unfortunately, your safety isn't the only reason we've come this far."

"I'm sorry, who are you again?" Kristoff cut in.

"I am Xehanort, this is Sora. We are diplomats from the far south here for the coronation." Xehanort explained, gesturing to himself and Sora in turn. Sora gave a bit of an awkward wave as he was introduced.

"See Kristoff?" Anna said triumphantly

"See what? Two strangers from a foreign land you've never met before? Are you gonna marry one of them now?"

Anna huffed again. "_ No _ , because it's not _ true love _."

"I think what Sven here is saying," at which point Olaf gestured at Kristoff, having not yet had his name corrected, "is it makes sense to find someone dressed in black leather suspicious." Olaf interrupted helpfully, though a moment after he looked Kristoff up and down, realizing he was _ also _ dressed in black leather. " _ Oh… _ " then proceeded to lean 'stealthily' towards Anna " _ I think Sven might be suspicious." _

And then there was a long pause before-

"_ Did that Snowman just talk!?" _

Sora kept back in confusion, regretting his outburst a bit when he remembered he was supposed to 'let Xehanort do the talking'. But, but, _ talking snowman. _ And _ why hadn't Xehanort mentioned that _ !? ...probably to be sure he reacted like this, actually, but _ come on. _

Xehanort had a look of surprise as well, though his was fabricated. Of course the organization was well aware of something like a snowman with a heart. 

"Oh! Nonono, don't worry! This is Olaf, he's a friend." Anna reassured. "And… yes, he's a snowman. Its- it's fine. He's fine."

Sora crouched down after the shock passed, getting a better look. "Uh… hi!" It probably wasn't the _ weirdest _ thing he'd seen in his travels when he thought about it, but Olaf was still pretty impressive. 

"Hi! You and your friend are very spiky."

"Uh…"

But before Sora could process that, Anna spoke up.

"Oh! But, you said something else happened? Everyone's okay right?"

Xehanort nodded. "The vast majority yes. But… one of our envoy has gone rouge. She would be dressed like me, blonde. Have you seen her?"

Sora blinked twice as Xehanort spoke. It took him a second, but he realized what Xehanort was doing- it was super smart! He came up with a reason for the matching coats and why they were looking for her all at once, he hadn't even thought about how suspicious the organization coat would have made Xehanort if they had seen Larxene…

"Oh… oh no, I'm so sorry! I haven't seen anyone like that, have you?" Anna answered, turning to Kristoff and Olaf next, but both shook their heads.

At the negative response, Xehanort brought a hand to his chin, calculating what to do next. It was Kristoff who spoke next, heaving a sigh.

"I'm going to be stuck guiding two more stuffy nobles aren't I?" The question was, naturally, directed at Sven.

"Hey! We're not stuffy!" Sora argued.

"Our job is to travel, and even if home is a warmer climate, this is hardly the first frigid winter we have faced." Xehanort added, swiftly laying more ground work to ease any suspicion about their potentially out of place competence.

Sora nodded. "Right."

Anna decided to join in as well. "See, they can help!"

Kristoff sighed.

***

For the first part of their journey Anna had explained everything to Sora and Xehanort, catharticly recounting the events to less judgemental ears than Kristoff. Sora nodded along, doing his best to act like he didn't know everything already- and to be fair, some of it _ was _new information, so it wasn't that hard!

But eventually, as the awkward party traveled onward, Xehanort and Sora hung back, discussing the next steps of their plans in hushed tones.

"She didn't know anything, now what? Her sister's the other princess, right? Won't Larxene see us if we meet up with her?"

And Xehanort, to his credit, was doing a very good job of focusing on the conversation despite the distraction of Sora being pressed up against him to whisper. "We could remove ourselves and watch from a distance, but if Larxene is following orders she will not reveal herself to them, as to not contaminate any tests of the heart. At this point we may not have a choice but to draw her out."

"So.. what do we do? Should we split up? If it's just me it might be less suspicious- should I be like… bait? And then you can watch what happens?"

Xehanort hummed, that would work, it was very sound, but there was one flaw, and that flaw was being separated from Sora, even if only superficially. "We would have to split up before we reach the summit." He mused, eyes flicking forward to the rest of their traveling companions for the time being.

Sora followed his gaze. "Oh, right… but I mean, you can come up with a good reason right? You were so good at it before! I gotta admit at first it had me worried but, you know, you said before you've been a keyblade wielder for a long time right? I bet you have a lot of practice keeping the world order."

Xehanort was touched, unable to help the smile that formed as Sora gave him the benefit of the doubt, and rightfully so. His skills may develop over the next 75 years of his life into something nefarious, but the constant need to quickly make excuses to strangers on the worlds he visited _ was _ what they were rooted in. "I suppose you have a point. Let us wait and see what develops, then."

***

"We're close, much further and she'll be made aware of us both." Xehanort murmured to Sora as the entered a field of rather menacing icicles. 

"Right. I'll… see you in a bit?" Suddenly Sora was a bit less sure of the plan he'd made. It had been a long time since he was on his own… but it was definitely the best thing they could do. It wouldn't be too long- besides, usually the organization would pop in and say something cryptic and leave, it might not even be that stressful.

Xehanort hesitated when Sora did, but then he watched the boys expression harden into determination. That was that then. "Yes, see you soon."

Xehanort then proceeded to slow his gate, falling a bit further behind Sora, and then…

Fell face first into the snow.

"Xehanort!" Sora stopped and ran back to the other boy, checking him over. The others followed in turn.

Xehanort sat up. "I'm fine, only tripped on the ice" he assured. But when he went to stand he made a show of if, wincing and grabbing his ankle.

"Oh no! Um, here…" Anna said as she started search her person for anything that could be used to help. 

Xehanort shook his head. "I will be fine. We are almost there, it can wait until after you have spoken with the Queen."

"But…"

"The wellbeing of the people of Arendelle comes before this. It is a bad sprain, but I don't believe it is broken. You can wait until after things have been sorted for me to slow you down."

Anna hesitated a moment longer, but her expression made it clear she was going to move on. All the pieces were in place then.

...except that Sora had missed the memo.

"I'll stay with you."

Xehanort looked up at the other boy. It warmed his heart, really, Sora was so sweet to worry for him and dote on him like this. Any other time he would revel in it… But the whole point of faking the injury was for them to _ split up _. He gave him a pointed look. "You need to stay with the princess, Sora."

"But- _ oh _ . I… Right, okay." Sora scratched his cheek as it finally clicked. And _ this _ is why most people he knew thought he was dumb. Of course Xehanort wasn't clumsy enough to trip on ice, islander or not, that was just the excuse he was making…

He went to stand, but then suddenly felt like that would be suspicious, just leaving Xehanort like that. "I, uh, but you sure you're okay?"

Xehanort sighed, smiling reassuringly. "I'm fine. Go."

"We'll be _ right _ back, I promise! And then Elsa will unfreeze everything, and then getting back to the city to get you bandaged up with be a piece of cake!" Anna declared with unfounded certainty.

Kristoff sighed. "Try to move as much as you can to keep warm, okay?"

Xehanort nodded. "Of course."

***

Sora followed the others up the rest of the mountain to the _ huge, super impressive _ ice palace that apparently Elsa just _ made. _ He really wanted to explore it- and meet Elsa!- but Anna said she might get spooked if they all went, and that made sense, but… just sitting out here and waiting with Kristoff was so _ hard _ . And Kristoff looked pretty restless too. Besides! What if Larxene- who's name he was going to have to remember to _ not say out loud until she said it _\- did something while they were alone?

"...maybe we should go check on them."

Kristoff perked up immediately. "You think?" And then proceed to try and _ not _ look as eager as he had been. "I mean, uh, it's been a while, it's just… being responsible."

"Yeah!" Sora agreed, hopping to his feet. "And we don't have to interrupt, just… peek in real quick. Right?"

"_ Exactly. _" Kristoff agreed.

With that the two were quickly making their way into the castle, both being equally distracted by the craftsmanship. As they got further up the stairs they heard voices- and the more they heard, the more stressed things started to sound. At the same time they both looked at each other, silently agreeing that it was time to hurry before sprinting up the rest of the way.

Sora slid into the doorway, unsurprisingly faster than Kristoff. The room was swirling with Elsa's magic, Anna was trying to reassure her and then- Elsa lost control.

Sora was knocked back by the blast, skidding against the floor of the hall. Kristoff ran past him, helping Anna up off the floor from where she'd collapsed after the blow. With a groan Sora picked himself up off the floor. Everyone was arguing, his head was still spinning and the conversation was kinda hard to follow, but he was pretty sure Elsa was kicking them out.

And that was when she made the giant _ angry _ snowman. Sora pushed off the wall he hadn't even been aware he'd been leaning on, but it wasn't quite fast enough. The next thing he knew he was being scooped up with everyone else and literally _ thrown _ out of the castle. He was really dizzy, and really cold, and Kristoff and Anna had run off and the giant snowman had followed them and-

Wait, no, that was good right? He was supposed to be looking for Larxene, and she was supposed to be bothering Elsa! Anna and Kristoff would be okay, even if they got chased off that's what happened in all the other loops.

He began running back to the castle steps, but apparently that was all it took for Larxene to show up. He skidded to a stop in the snow, drawing his keyblade. "Organization XIII!"

And he was _ very _ proud of himself for not saying her name!

"Eug. Didn't you get the memo? She kicked you losers out." Larxene taunted bordely. 

"Yeah right! I bet you're the one that caused her to shut Anna out!" Sora snapped back, surprising himself. It was so easy to just fall into how things normally went…

"_ Rude. _Sorry to break it to you, but I haven't done anything. You're just gonna have to deal with a problem where there's not a bad guy to punch to make it all better."

Sora pouted, about to yell something along the lines of 'oh yeah, I'm looking at one now!', but he caught himself. He shouldn't start a fight, he needed to get information, but… he had a lot more practice with one of these than the other…

"You can't fool me! That's why you're here right? The new seven hearts!" He was _ pretty _ sure it was okay to mention that. Xehanort said he should have learned about it on Corona…

"Oh yeah? And what if I am?"

"How can you even be sure Elsa's one of them!? Isn't she having a hard enough time as it is? Just leave her alone!"

"So what, _ you _ can save her? That's not going to help either, you know."

"_ What _?"

Larxene smirked cruelly. "You're right, I _ don't _ know. She _ could _ be, oooor… her powers could be fueled by darkness. After that little show I think I'm betting on the latter." The words were stained by the shrill laugh carried in her voice, a malicious twinkle in her eye. But in a second it as gone, replaced with something colder and more serious. "And that's why I can't have _ you _ tipping the scales. So _ scram. _"

Sora glared. But… honestly, it sounded like she was doing all the things she was supposed to be for the organization. She hadn't really said or done anything that didn't match what Xehanort had said… She was _ awful _ , that was for sure, but that was the _ only _ thing he was sure of…

"Make me!" He taunted back. There wasn't really anything left to do _ but _fight, but he might learn something?

"_ Gladly _." Larxene deadpanned. In a second she was on him, and Sora found himself sluggish. She landed a hit squarely in his gut and he went flying from the bottom of the stairs across the field of snow. 

"Anticlimactic, much?" Larxene taunted. Sora grimaced from the snow. What was wrong with him?

Fortunately or unfortunately, the loud crunching footsteps of a certain giant angry snowman suddenly rang through the air. Larxene looking toward them. 

"_ Perfect. _ Now you can be someone else's problem."

And with that she was gone.

Sora started scrambling to get up. Fighting the big guy now didn't sound fun and he got what he needed anyway. He didn't get far before Xehanort appeared next to him. 

"This way, quickly."

***

The two managed to flee before Elsa's latest creation could catch them at the castle doors. They stopped far enough back down the path that the scenery around them had melted back into plain sheets of snow.

"Are you alright?"

Sora hesitated. "...I think so? I think I hit my head in the castle, I've been kinda dizzy… but I'll be okay, it's not like I hurt anywhere now…"

Xehanort frowned. That was not the correct answer. "Sora, you could have a _ concussion _." With that he pulled the boy close and began looking over his head. Delayed pain was fairly common for that sort of injury, after all.

"Hey! I'm fine! That's what cure is for right? Besides, we should be focusing on Larxene right now." Sora protested, batting lightly at Xehanort's arms. 

With a sigh Xehanort relented. _ For now _. "She didn't do anything out of place. Even her banter was similar to what it would be had things proceeded according to 'script'."

Sora frowned, rubbing his arms in the cold. "Yeah, that was what I thought… does that mean this world is another dead end?"

Xehanort paused to mull things over. "...most likely… but there is more we can do to be sure. Her reaction to a proper deviation could still give things away. We ought to… Sora?" 

He interrupted himself as his gaze turned back to the boy in question. Sora was _ shaking _ \- he had complained about the cold much of the time they had been here, but he hadn't been reacting to it like _ this _. The poor thing looked like he could barely focus...

"Huh?" Sora finally answered, not having realized he'd zoned out at all. Xehanort started checking his head again.

"I told you, you need to take a head injury se-"

He watched as a lock of Sora's hair turned white, something he never thought he'd be so worried to see.

"Sora where did Elsa strike you?" Two fingers pulled Sora's chin up to meet his gaze.

"U-um… I'm not s-sure? Hitting th-the… ground hurt worse. W-why?" Sora answered, stuttering as his teeth chattered. And then it clicked. "W-wait, did I also… but I…" he collapsed before he could form a coherent thought, Xehanort catching him and easing him down to the ground.

"Sora, I do not know what you thought, but that magic is powerful. Even an indirect hit could have been dangerous. And your heart is so open…" Xehanort explained gently, resting Sora against the mountain face and brushing his hair from his eyes.

"O-oh…" He answered slowly. It was so hard to focus… "how'd they fix 't 'gain?" He slurred. Moving his jaw was kind of hard…

Xehanort was quiet. The only way to cure the ailment was an impossible fairytale cliche. He tried casting curaga and esuna regardless, but unsurprisingly, there was no effect. Of course it couldn't be that easy…

"...we need to get you to Riku or Kairi."

"Huh?" Sora tried to get his eyes to focus on Xehanort, but they wouldn't cooperate. He was so confused, how did that answer his question?

Xehanort stared back at Sora's innocent confusion, unsure of what to do. Riku… Riku was in the realm of darkness, he _ wasn't _an option- even if they had the time, dragging Sora though a place like that in this condition would likely kill him. He reached for Sora's phone. Could Riku make it here in time? But- no, the devices didn't work in that place… Kairi, Kairi was… in a subspace, attached to Yensids fortress. She couldn't be reachable by this either, and that was too far without having to argue with who knows who to get Sora to the right person. 

The phone fell into the snow. What did he do? Did he just wait? Let Sora freeze and have one of the heroes rescue him when they returned? Would there be any residual effects? The princess had been frozen, but only for minutes at best… by the time that happened, the loop would be nearly over- he would lose any time left he had with Sora. Should he just… let time run its course? Start over and try again? Would Sora remember, and think of it as a betrayal? Would... that even matter if it felt like one to him? If he was just going to try again, the _ least _ he could do was keep Sora from spending the time between in a terrible stasis, but then… perhaps it was arrogant at all of him to believe he _ could _do anything…

But he could try.

And even if he failed, he would be able to try again, eventually.

He tilted Sora's chin up between his finger and thumb. 

"...forgive me."

And then he kissed him.

It wasn't the kiss it's self Xehanort believed would save Sora, but rather the act of revealing the nature of his feelings when he was so certain it would cause Sora to turn him away. The act of sacrificing something for another person was what defined _ love _, not something as base as a single kiss.

The moment he felt Sora's skin begin to warm he pulled away. Against all odds, it had worked- whatever force dictated Elsa's magic apparently deemed his love as 'true' enough, unrequited or no. But it didn't particularly make him feel better, even if he was glad that Sora was okay…

His heart hurt something awful, and he was sure Sora would need time to… process, so he removed himself, standing and making his way back down the path. It would be nice to put off the fallout if only for a little while…

"_ Wait! _"

Everything happened so fast- Sora's head was spinning, but now for very different reasons than it had been before.

Everything had been so _ cold _ , he hadn't really been completely aware of what was going on around him- and then the next thing he knew Xehanort's face was close, and his lips were warm, and then the _ rest _ of him was warm and-

And by the time he had realized Xehanort was _ kissing _ him the boy had pulled away and fled. All of the pain and unnatural chill was suddenly gone and Sora scramble up to his feet, calling out to him despite the whip lash. Xehanort _ kissed him _ and it magically _ cured _ him- it was impossible _ not _ to remember what had- would?- cure Anna now, but that meant…

"...you love me?" Sora asked with wide eyes, staring at Xehanort's back as he still leaned against the rocky mountain face to stand.

Xehanort hesitated, but… there wasn't much point in lying now. He didn't turn to face him.

"More deeply than you can imagine." Maybe it sounded dramatic, but that's how it felt.

What was Sora even supposed to say to that? He- for some reason he hadn't expected him to just _ admit it _ ! Xehanort _ loved _ him!? He loved _ him. _ Even though they were destined to fight- even though Xehanort made it clear he believed destiny was inevitable. He didn't understand, and it- it _ hurt. _Before he could help it he started tearing up, the next question spilling from his lips in a sob.

"_ Why? _"

Why. Why his enemy? Why _ now _ , in a time that wasn't his own? Why _ him of all people _ ? What could he have _ possibly _ done to earn the adoration of _ Xehanort _? 

Xehanort finally looked back at Sora, his expression confused as though the answer was something obvious- because to him it was.

"...because you believe in a world where I would be allowed to exist as I am. You are… the only one who sees those steeped in darkness as anything more than daemons."

Sora's face scrunched up at the answer, tears falling thicker than before. That was just… _ so sad _. "That's not true!"

Xehanort smirked. "And the fact that you believe that is another reason."

Sora shrunk back at the strange, almost backhanded praise. Xehanort _ loved _ him because… he was optimistic and accepted his darkness. Sora's heart _ hurt _ . It was so simple- it seemed like it should have been _ too _ simple- but he understood. Xehanort had been the only one who was willing to take him seriously, the only one who would explain things to him without calling him stupid for not knowing it in the first place, the only one willing to trust him enough to tell him everything going on… it might not been enough for him to _ love _ Xehanort, but he cared about him. In that moment all he wanted was for Xehanort to stop looking so sad- to…to stop acting like he had done something _ wrong _ for saving him just because of how he did it! His heart was _ screaming _ at him to do something, _ anything _, to change the expression on the other boys face, and- and it was obvious what would make Xehanort happy, so he just-

Without thinking, with only the impulses of his heart pulling him along, Sora wiped his face and ran across the snow to Xehanort. He didn't say anything, he didn't hesitate. And before either of them could process what was happening Sora took Xehanort's face in both his hands and kissed him.

A beat of silence passed before he realized, but _ Sora was kissing him _ . He- no. Xehanort was not going to let overthinking ruin this, not again. With great effort he turned his overactive mind _ off _ and leaned in, carefully wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and focusing only on the feeling. Sora's lips were chapped- they always were, as Xehanort had often noted- but now more so due to the cold. But they were plush, and _ warm _ , and he tasted like salt water and fresh sugarcane and everything that was home and _ Sora _ at once.

Sora's kisses were awkward and sloppy, but that was to be expected. This was his first- second now, really- kiss, to be sure. But that in and of itself was something endearing and so quintessentially _ Sora. _ Xehanort kept his movements slow, easing Sora into the proper motions, and Sora was a fast learner, able to easily match pace and mimic the movements. Soon enough he was meeting him with tiny, open mouthed kisses, both breathing in each other's breath. They were small little things, Sora parting his lips ever so slightly before losing his nerve and closing them again. But that was alright by Xehanort, he was more than content with the slow, innocent, heartfelt pace of things. 

It had been a long time since he had been kissed like that, and not just since he had arrived in this time.

Eventually they parted. It didn't feel like time had stopped- Xehanort knew all too well what that was like- but the moment still felt _ fragile, _ like if either one of them so much as breathed too hard it would all shatter.

Sora looked up at Xehanort with wide eyes. Xehanort was staring quietly back at him and while he seemed happy he also looked _ scared _ \- there was hope in his eyes but it was _ tired _, hesitant. He didn't look all that different from how he usually did, Sora realized, but somewhere along the line he really learned to pick out the subtleties.

Suddenly Sora felt _ awful- _he had just been impulsive and stupid. Leading Xehanort on wasn't going to make this any easier for him, it was just twisting the knife. 

"I'm sorry! I- you just, you looked so sad and-" Sora blurted out. Xehanort deserved better- he had been _ nothing _ but kind and patient since they started their journey together.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Xehanort said with a sad smile, brushing away the dried tears from Sora's cheeks.

That just made Sora feel worse. His head was spinning and his heart felt like it was _ drowning _ . But what was he supposed to _ say _ ? What did he _ do? _ What he wanted was to kiss Xehanort again, because doing _ that _ had turned his brain _ completely off _ and it had felt _ so nice _ and all _ floaty _ but that was _ wrong. _ He couldn't just stand there and keep making out with Xehanort when he didn't _ love _ him… right? He didn't _ love _ him, sure but he didn't _ hate _ him either- he wasn't sure he ever really did, not this Xehanort anyway. Xehanort had turned out to be sweet and thoughtful- he always _ listened _, he never treated him like he was stupid even when he probably deserved it. He wanted to take care of Xehanort like that, wanted him to be happy, but… really he barely knew him, or at least it felt that way.

He didn't love him.

But he cared about him.

And he really wanted to kiss him.

Was that enough?

Sora tore his gaze away from gold eyes he had at some point started thinking of as pretty instead of frightening. "I… don't think I can really use the 'L' word, but… I like you a lot, Xehanort. I mean, you're always so nice and you listen and you smell nice and you're a good dancer and you don't treat me like I'm stupid all the time and, um... So…"

Xehanort stared in shock as Sora rambled. Everything that was happening was so surreal. Even though Sora had kissed him it hadn't quite… clicked. Never had he dared to dream Sora would return his feelings. They were something shy, Sora wouldn't call it love but it was still affection, that was more than Xehanort had hoped for. 

Carefully he brought his hand back to Sora's chin, tilting it to look at him again. "That's more than enough."

The smile that Xehanort gave Sora was unlike anything the other boy had seen on him before. It was _ radiant _ , and he had never once thought he would ever be able to describe Xehanort as _ radiant. _ And it made Sora feel _ guilty _ because Xehanort looked _ so happy _ and he still felt like he was doing something _ wrong. _

"But- that's not fair to you!"

Xehanort's expression grew quizzical, but in the end it wasn't hard to piece together. Sora had been whisked away as soon as he was old enough to start thinking about things like romance- he had hardly had a good role model during his travels. He smiled softly.

"Sora, most are not so lucky as to have the fairy tale romances you have seen. Hearts are fickle- people learn to love, people's feelings change. Some find love at a glance and some leave a string of broken hearts in their wake. You are allowed to try before things are perfect. I think humanity would die out if you weren't."

"Oh…" Sora said, trying not to blush. That was another good thing about Xehanort, he just… always seemed to know what was bothering him _ and _ what to say to make it better. Then again, thinking about a 'normal romance' made him think about the future and that was… no- he just, he wasn't going to think about it. Xehanort said it didn't have to be perfect, and things were _ really not perfect _ , but it was _ fine. _Sora not having as strong feelings was small potatoes compared to all that but- nope. Just, he wouldn't go there.

Unfortunately it seemed his expression had given his thoughts away again and Xehanort's was now falling in turn. "But… I understand, if given the circumstan- _ mrfph _"

And that was as far as Xehanort got before Sora just covered his mouth with both his hands. "Just- just _ don't. _Don't talk about it! We can… take a page out of my book and just… deal with it when we get there… okay?" He pleaded. Xehanort's eyes softened, and it took Sora a moment to realize he had to move his hands for the other boy to answer. But before they got far Xehanort took one in his own, guiding his fingers to his lips and kissing them gently. 

"Okay." Sora was right. What was the point in worrying? If hey we're going to do this, it would almost certainly be fleeting, so why spend what precious time they had mourning the inevitable? 

For once it would be nice to just forget and _ be happy. _

Sora was so beautiful like this, blushing and smiling sweetly up at him, gaze flicking from his eyes to his lips to their joined hands and back. He… was his now. He didn't have to hide the longing in his stare anymore, he didn't have to try and contain anything. It was still something fragile, but it was something he was going to cherish for every moment he could.

"You're beautiful."

This time Sora blushed all the way up to his ears. "Oh, I um." He obviously had never had someone tell him _ that _ either. He fidgeted nervously, trying to figure out how Xehanort just _ said _ things like that. This wasn't at all how he expected Xehanort to act if he were into someone- not that he had thought about that before… okay he had maybe a little, but still! You know, he thought he'd be all… bad boy, sexy smirking, dramatic wall lean…-y. But instead he was doing things like kissing his hand and calling him beautiful?? Sora just didn't know how to process it.

And glanced back up at Xehanort and- _ wow _ , had he always been that pretty? Sora didn't know boys could be just that… _ pretty _ . The way his bangs hung in his face, the curve of his jaw, his eyelashes… really now Sora was just trying to figure out how he _ hadn't _been distracted by it before…

The answer was he had, it had just been through several layers of 'the organization is bad!' variants of denial.

"You- your face is nice." Was what Sora finally said, which was _ much _less eloquent than the description in his head had been.

Xehanort laughed, he couldn't _ not _ . Sora's pout in response was _ epic. _"Never stop being this adorable."

Even Xehanort's _ laugh _ was pretty. It wasn't fair! Though, when he looked closer he could see a faint rosiness on his cheeks too. It was more subtle on him, but Xehanort was definitely blushing, at least that made him feel a _ little _ better. And before he knew it he was smiling again, because maybe Xehanort was also pretty adorable when he was blushing like that.

"Yeah, well, you're pretty adorable yourself."

And Xehanort had thought he couldn't smile any wider. His Sora was so sweet… how had he gotten so lucky? Before he knew it they were both leaning close again. He let his eyes fall shut, he felt Sora stop and take a deep breath, and then finally they kissed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The working title for this chapter was 'The Big Gay'
> 
> I hope the pacing for this worked out for this. I always get self conscious about the 'tipping' moment in fics with a lot of build up like this. I spent a lot of time trying to think of how the confession would go long before I got close to this chapter, and at some point along the line I had the idea of Sora getting hit with the Frozen Heart as more of a shitpost but wound up getting really attached to it. 
> 
> Also don't worry, they're glossing over it now, but they will only be able to successfully ignore the keyblade war shaped elephant in the room for so long. I really want to sort of drag that out and showcase Sora's denial based coping mechanisms with that, but that's something that will be showcased in chapters to come. And of course this isn't over by a long shot- we'll be going all the way to the end, so stay tuned :)
> 
> (btw the reason Sora thinks Xeha and Riku smell sorta alike is bc that's what darkness smells like- I will never let CoM smelling things go no one can make me.)


	8. Aggressively Honeymooning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sora and Xehanort take the time to enjoy each other's company with extarodinary sappiness during the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, I'm finally back again! Sorry again for the wait- I feel particularly bad because this chapter has been almost done for a while now. But the good news is I'm already making headway on the next chapter! As well as progress on the general outline and planning for the rest of this fic. 
> 
> I will be officially upping the rating and altering some of the tags to reflect this later today. But don't get too excited- the boys won't be getting up to too much fun quite yet. (though they'll start making their way towards that in the next chapter).
> 
> Apologies in advance for a higher saturation of typos and messiness. This chapter is unbetad because I wanted to get it out asap ><
> 
> Also a big thank you to everyone for your patience and support. Every comment really helps and means a lot, even if I haven't been able to respond to them as of late. You all are the best <3

Eventually island heritage won out against hormones- kissing in the snow was romantic and picturesque to be sure, but not something either boy was built to withstand for long. The two gathered Sora's phone from the snow and set out back down the mountain- romance aside they still had a paradox to solve, and of course Sora had insisted they check in with Anna and Kristoff. They'd worry about them after they got thrown out of the castle by that big snow man like that!

On the other hand, the cold was the perfect excuse to cuddle. Sora had latched on to Xehanort's arm and pressed his cheek determinedly into the taller boy's shoulder. He was frankly quite content to spend the entire journey this way- Xehanort was warm and he  _ might _ be able to feel some of those arm muscles under the leather, it was nice. And needless to say Xehanort had absolutely no complaints about the situation.

Even if it was still… Surreal.

But Sora was happy and chatty- or nervous and chatty, but Xehanort tried to stamp those worries down- and it was hard for any pessimism to set in with such adorable and cheery company.

"So- okay, islander to islander, be honest- what did you do the first time you saw snow?" Sora asked abruptly, kicking a bit of the power in question as they walked.

Xehanort smiled a bit wider than he should have- but Sora was so  _ cute _ , and he was asking cute first date questions that were impossible not to grin at. Still, it took him a moment to answer, drawing out the pause with a dramatic hum. "I was distracted, to say the least. I'd like to think by now you've realized I can become… easily fascinated by new things."

Sora grinned. "Well, if you mean it was anything like when you just stared at the gummi ship for 20 minutes then I'm sure it was adorable."

Xehanort blushed despite the satisfied smirk plastered over his face. Apparently Sora had not only been taking note of his… more unique mannerisms and behaviours, but had even grown fond of them. "Yes, well, the two weeks of flu that resulted from my sleeveless romp was decidedly less so."

"Oh nooooo!" Sora tried to be appropriately upset at the idea of a sick Xehanort, but really knowing that he'd been so distracted by it he forgot about the weather was  _ priceless. _ So maybe a few chuckles still escaped. "Well you got better eventually and that's what matters. I didn't get to play in the snow too long because Donald would keep yelling about whatever it was we were supposed to be doing… but- hehe- maybe instead you could say that's how my first snowball fight started."

Xehanort chuckled. "I must admit, it always is somehow more satisfying than any blizzard spell."

"Right!?" Sora agreed enthusiastically. "So what was the like, first snow thing you did? Snowman? Snow angel?"

Xehanort hummed again thinking back more carefully on his first time exploring a snowy world. "Hm… I suppose the first cliche I took part in would have been catching snowflakes."

Slowly Sora's smile softened into something sweeter. It was easy to picture- Xehanort standing serenely in the snow, holding out his hands so he could examine each individual flake. "You really like just studying things huh." Sora said more than asked. Even now Xehanort was almost too picturesque, the dusting of snow perfectly complimenting his silvery hair. 

Xehanort returned a smile just as sweet. That Sora knew that was exactly  _ why _ that had been his first interaction with snow was incredibly heartwarming. "I enjoy learning new things."

There was a long pause, and Xehanort felt increasingly awkward as Sora failed to respond. "...apologies, did I say something wrong?" He finally asked, turning his gaze back to Sora rather than the path ahead of them. Suddenly he feared that had been too reminiscent of… the versions of himself Sora was decidedly less fond of.

Sora blinked, finally registering he had been spoken to. "What? No! That's not- I just…" and then Sora huffed, pouting childishly. "It's not my fault your stupid face is so pretty!"

Xehanort blinked once, then blushed again.  _ Oh.  _ Sora had just been overly distracted by… essentially ogling him? That was… extremely flattering, but would take some getting used to. "Now Sora, I hope you don't mean to tell me you only want me for my body." He joked in an attempt to diffuse some of the awkwardness.

Sora's retort came immediately and  _ long _ before he could think better of it. "isn't that backwards?"

Xehanort nearly tripped, a hand coming to cover his mouth at the instinct to try to _ not _ laugh at what was  _ objectively _ a joke made in poor taste. It was certainly humor far darker than he thought was Sora's tastes, but then again, perhaps he'd simply never had an appreciative audience before. It certainly did wonders to dispell his previous worries.

Sora just grinned a grin more reminiscent of Vanitas. But really, it was impossible  _ not _ to be smug after your joke made  _ Xehanort _ stumble.

"Sorry, too soon?" He did not sound sorry.

"I suppose I would be the one to know, wouldn't I?" Xehanort responded with a similarly bad joke about his own time magic.

"Well, time stuff is sort of your job." Sora agreed.

"Is it now? Then would you know who to ask about a pay raise?" Xehanort retorted in complete deadpan, which set Sora immediately into an absolutely precious fit of giggles.

Even after he calmed himself Sora just snuggled up to Xehanort even more. Sora was, unsurprisingly, extremely cuddly when affectionate. Not that Xehanort had any complaints of course- he may not seem like the type, but he was rather fond of physical closeness. Just… only with people he actually  _ liked _ , which was admittedly a very small list. Perhaps his general anxiety about pushing other people's boundaries also came off as simply being standoffish, but it just meant Sora's physical clinging was all the more welcome- he got all the snuggles he wanted without having to worry about initiating the process or struggling with his own pride. That had been something he was fond of Eraqus for as well…

But he shouldn't be thinking about him right now.

Fortunately, Sora cut in before his thoughts could wander much more. "Mmm… so how exactly are we gonna find Larxene again? Are we gonna get down fast enough to catch her still spying on Elsa?" Because well, technically with magic he and Xehanort were  _ much _ faster but… due to…  _ circumstances  _ (read: making out in the snow for an indeterminate amount if time.) They got a pretty big head start. And the two of them weren't exactly hurrying…

Xehanort blinked at Sora's abruptly responsible question. Apparently even their anxieties were in synch… which was likely not a good thing, but something to worry about later.

"I don't think we'll have to worry about that. You're a person of interest as well, you know."

"Oh yeah… that's a good point." The organization did always seem to take time out of their schedules to bother him, it made sense. "You don't think she'll get scared off by you being here?"

"Quite the contrary." Xehanort answered dryly.

"Huh?" And really, the quizzical look Sora gave him was too adorable to resist. Xehanort stopped their leisurely stroll in favor of tilting the boy's chin up even further. 

"My dearest Sora," Xehanort began, "you are too sweet, precious, radiant for words to describe. That a man like me would be lucky enough to be found worthy of your affections is an honor unfathomable to this or any world."

Sora just turned red, because Xehanort was  _ really _ laying it on thick sort of out of nowhere where, but… it was sweet and nice and Xehanort's voice was really pretty to listen to actually? Which he felt sort of dumb for just noticing because Xehanort talked  _ a lot _ all the other times they'd interacted. But that wasn't as important as kissing him now was. Because Sora still wasn't really good with the talking but he thought he was getting pretty good with the kissing if he did say so himself- so with that thought he leaned in and-

" _ UHGG!  _ Just when I thought you two couldn't be  _ any more disgusting!" _

Sora jumped away from Xehanort into a half battle stance at the sudden interruption of Larxene's shrill complaint. Xehanort himself was unfazed.

"And here I thought I wouldn't even get through my declaration." He responded nonchalantly, much to Larxene's chagrin. Sora turned back to the other boy as he put the pieces together. Apparently Xehanort had known she'd freak out if they were too schmoopy? It… made sense, now that he thought about it. Finally he relaxed, folding his arms behind his head.

"If you don't like it then don't spy on us." He countered childishly. He  _ probably  _ shouldn't poke the bear but…Too late.

The glare she threw Sora was  _ legendary _ , and somehow managed to convey a full tirade of how he knew damn well it was her job to do that and that sure as hell wasn't her choice. After which, she turned to Xehanort. "Just what the hell kind of game are you playing at?"

"Before you let your imagination run too wild- Xemnas has been made well aware of my own machinations, I assure you."

" _ Oh,  _ XEMNAS knows, that makes me feel  _ so much better. _ " The sarcasm was less biting and more violently stabbing. "You think just telling people you have special secret plans is gonna let you get away with  _ literally sleeping with the enemy _ !?" 

"Hey! He's a gentleman- we haven't done anything like that yet!" Sora cut in. Xehanort was unable to keep a smirk from cracking.

"If you're trying to insinuate treachery, I believe this is what one calls the pot calling the kettle black."

" _ Listen halfpint-" _

"Stop calling my boyfriend names!" Sora cut in to defend Xehanort's honor. Also because someone calling the guy a whole head taller than him short was not necessarily great for his self esteem in and of itself.

At the word 'boyfriend' Xehanort couldn't help but grin, despite current company. Sora's impulsive bluntness was doing wonders for avoiding awkward conversations- something he was sure would prove to be a double edge sword  _ eventually _ , but for now he could just be happy.

Larxene, on the other hand, looked like she was torn between outright attacking them and throwing up. Because really,  _ really?? _

Finally she mustered another glare at Sora, this one a bit more serious than the previous. "Oh and I'm sure your little friends are just  _ thrilled _ about your new 'romance'. Then again~ I don't see them around anywhere!"

For as much as Larxene was loud and easy to anger, she was by no means  _ stupid _ , and very skilled in making open, ominous threats.

Threats that caused Sora to blanche immediately. Panic was evident through his complete lack of poker face as he turned to Xehanort for answers- because everything would be really messed up if she told everyone who he was with and surprisingly  _ not _ just because he didn't want to think about everyone he knew harshly judging his most recent life choices.

Xehanort, meanwhile, ever prepared for every eventuality, was not particularly worried by this threat. He did, however, feel guilty at the realization he had sort of… forgotten to at any point brief Sora on the possibility- ironically because he had been thoroughly distracted by the boy in question. 

"While Kingdom Hearts remains the organization's primary objective, and naturally the heroes' goal remains putting a stop to ours, certain… unforeseen circumstances that are detrimental to both sides has led to a temporary truce." Xehanort explained calmly. Though at Larxene's rather unimpressed look he added, "... admittedly with benefits, but that is not as relevant as you would like to believe."

Larxene, however, remained unimpressed. " _ Unforeseen circumstances _ ." She said pointedly to the time traveler. Xehanort sighed.

"You are well aware my powers don't work that way, Larxene. This is the furthest in the future I have traveled." One could split hairs over whether that was technically a lie or not. The furthest to the future _ he had personally traveled using his powers _ was this era, but the furthest point in the future he had experience  _ was _ a ways off thanks to the loop. It was a very carefully worded trap or any information pertaining to the causality in question. 

There was a pause, and slowly Larxene's expression became more serious. Her whole demeanor changed really- she was still glaring and  _ furious _ , but it wasn't the fiery, short fuse type of rage it had been. This was a cold, much more dangerous anger. The changes were subtle, but even Sora managed to pick them out, maybe thanks to all the time he'd spent with Xehanort…

"...you're not going to tell any of us what's going on, are you."

It was Xehanort's turn to pause. It was fairly common for the lower ranks of the organization to become frustrated by the secrets of the higher ups, but  _ this _ , this more than just that.

"The nature of the issue would cause it to become exasperated if details become widespread. While secrecy is common in the organization…" and he paused just briefly, the silence implying every suspicion about her protest, "even dear Sora has taken every precaution to maintain the same confidence- which long preceded our relationship, I assure you. Telling the other side of his activities would do far more harm to us than him."

Larxene tsked loudly, looking off the mountain ridge. And then she finally snapped again. "It's one thing if your keeping secrets about your stupid boytoy, but I think I have a right to be a  _ little pissed off _ you people aren't sharing whatever is so important it's taking time away from your  _ damn prescious Kingdom Hearts _ ."

Xehanort hummed. If she was being honest he almost felt guilty- it was more than understandable logic. Xehanort worrying about something else in the height of his obsession, so close to his plans unfolding, was objectively concerning. But the logic was almost  _ too _ sound, too pretty of an excuse. It could easily be a cover up…

Sora, however, leaned more into giving the benefit of the doubt because that was simply how he was. Xehanort had eased his worries about getting exposed with his warning, but that only had left room for him to worry about this. He frowned a bit as he looked down at the snow.

"I'm sorry, but it's for your own safety. For everyone's- it- I wish I could say you're not gonna be affected by this, or that it's not as bad as it sounds, but…"

Larxene was not impressed. "I don't want your fucking pity or half-assed apology. Either give me answers or man up and deal with the consequences of your own actions for a change." She spat.

Sora flinched and Xehanort quickly laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You won't get anything more out of him than me, Larxene." He stated dryly with his own glare, directly calling out her obvious play. It seemed to bolster Sora's confidence if only slightly, and he managed to look up at Larxene again with a more stern expression this time.

There was another long pause, nearly a standoff as everyone quietly stared each other down. Xehanort thought that was suspicious too- Larxene wasn't one for long calculations in the heat of the moment, but here she was. He could be reading too much into it, but any threat they found was worth pursuing. The question now was how to proceed without tipping their hand…

Larxene suddenly broke the silence again, falling back into her typical haughty behaviour. "Whatever. Keep it to yourself, if it's that bad I'm sure I'll find out the hard way eventually. Just try to stay out of my way while I do my  _ actual job _ . Kay?" And just like that she was gone. Though a lingering echo of " _ and I hope you both get mono. _ " rang faintly from what was left of the corridor.

Xehanort sighed. Sora scratched the back of his head. "Well that was… something." He was definitely feeling the emotional whiplash. That had been a  _ rollercoaster _ of things to process, especially after going from cloud 9 to being slapped in the face with real world problems in the span of a few minutes…

"Something indeed." Xehanort agreed. "But perhaps a worthwhile something in the end…"

Sora perked up at that, turning to face Xehanort excitedly. "Does that mean you figured something out!?"

Xehanort smiled at the hope in Sora's eyes. He was glad he had managed to retain some honest optimism after all the verbal abuse for a change. "Not exactly. But I can attest to the fact that Larxene's behaviour was odd at best and suspicious at worst. Had you been as well acquainted with her as myself you might have picked out the subtleties as well."

Sora crossed his arms and nodded along in agreement. That made sense. And it was a lead! "Well, even if it's not much, it's still more than we had before, right? Progress!" He said with a bright grin.

Xehanort found the grin contagious- even if it was much more subdued on himself- and he had to remind himself he was actually allowed to act on his impulse to tuck some of Sora's hair behind his ear. Sora leaned into the touch happily, and in the next moment he was wrapped up around Xehanort's again, snuggling against his shoulder as if the whole ordeal had never happened.

Which Xehanort wanted to be happy about, but it was… concerning. Perhaps, because of the nature of some of Larxene's attacks, it was better not to open the proverbial can of worms… but it was hard not to be worried as he watched Sora's mood pingpong to such extremes. 

They had begun walking again by the time Xehanort had decided it was better to say something. "...are you sure you're alright? She may not be the physically strongest of our ranks, but in a battle of words Larxene can be... formidable."

Sora blinked up at the question, his expression easing out of the exaggerated, cat-like contentedness it had been before. He hadn't really realized he'd done it, but he was so used to  _ no sad faces _ he had just fallen into the habit. But Xehanort didn't care about that… the smile he gave the taller boy this time was much softer and more tired, but it was also more honest.

"I'll be okay. A lot's happened today, that's all. She was awful, but I really am glad we finally have a lead." He snuggled back up to Xehanort's shoulder after, giving a content little sigh. "...thanks for asking." 

Xehanort returned the soft smile, carefully bending his arm at the elbow to rest a hand on Sora's back without disturbing his snuggling. "Of course. You never have to put up a front with me, I am here for you rain or shine, Sora."

Sora looked up at Xehanort in awe. That wasn't something he'd heard before- or if it was, it had been a long time ago, before he'd left home. He didn't think something like that would be so...  _ relieving _ , but he'd had to be everyone else's rock for so long, and he was slowly starting to realize how  _ tiring _ being happy all the time had been.

"Okay. But… you don't have to put up a front either."

Xehanort blinked down in surprise, for some reason having not expected the sentiment to be returned. He wasn't… sure he was capable of doing that, his own masks were well ingrained and came from a very different flavor of emotional baggage than Sora's, but… "...I will try."

And Sora just smiled reassuringly at him, snuggling up to him again a moment after. "That's more than enough."

That was… very different from the things Eraqus would say when he became… detached. Sora had yet to encounter such moods in full force, and perhaps his tune would change when he did, but for now…

For now he just felt lucky.

***

The two continued down the mountain arm in arm, a quiet contentedness between them as they simply enjoyed the other's warmth. Of course, Sora could only keep quiet for so long, even with snuggles to distract him.

"...you know, I thought you'd be a lot different…" Sora mused vaguely. He was referring to how apparently doting of a boyfriend Xehanort was again, but only parts of his scattered train of thought had managed to make the transition into speech.

Which was only a problem because the vagueness of the statement left Xehanort preparing himself for a much more serious, less pleasant conversation about his villainous role in things. At least he was smart enough not to lean completely into the jumped-to conclusion. "...what do you mean?"

Sora glanced up at the taller boy before blushing a bit. "Well… you know, you're just… you're so sweet, and kinda sappy, and- I mean, not that I'm complaining, I'm  _ definitely _ not complaining- you- you're  _ great _ ." Sora gushed in a rambly way that made it all sound even more earnest. Xehanort's heart melted a little at the praise, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

Sora continued, his expression shifting from sweet and mushy to something a bit harder to read. "but… well, I sorta… expected you to lean into the sexy bad boy thing more, is all."

_ Oh. _

Needless to say that was  _ not at all _ what Xehanort had been expecting. A much more pleasant topic to be sure, but still… Surprising. And being, well,  _ Xehanort _ , not many things managed to surprise him. It was another of Sora's charms, he supposed.

It made sense, enough so he probably _shouldn't_ have been surprised. Sora had… _A_ _type._ Well, two types really, depending on the gender of who it was. Every woman he had ever shown interest in appeared demure at first glance while hiding a firecracker personality- a lioness in sheep's clothing, as it were. And the men he had shown interest in had been, well…

_ Riku and himself. _

He wondered, given Sora's question, if Riku mellowing over the years had actually put a damper on any would-be romantic progression between them. But that was a… dangerous series of what-ifs to contemplate- and more importantly, he had Sora all to himself now. It would be remiss of him not to pay him proper attention.

A sly smirk slowly worked its way across his face. He halted their leisurely stroll in favor of tilting Sora's chin towards him, leaning down and murmuring hotly into his ear. "I can certainly help you with such  _ dark _ desires if that's what you wish, Sora dear."

_That _shot through Sora faster and harder than… Anything. At least anything he could remember in that moment, which was admittedly not a lot. His face was _bright_ red, all the way down his neck, and his ear _burned _where Xehanort's lips had just barely brushed against it. He really _really_ wanted to just shove Xehanort against the nearest vertical surface and kiss him senseless- or be shoved, either or, he wasn't picky. But he wasn't sure he could do that right now without getting… uh, a little too _excited,_ and that just wasn't appropriate for a first date.

He bit his lip instead, just sort of staring at the devilish smirk that had found its way onto Xehanort's face. Really, it  _ just wasn't fair _ . How could someone be that sexy?? How was that allowed?? Or just- go from  _ I'll have him back by 10 _ to  _ he calls me daddy too _ in like two seconds!  _ Apparently _ Xehanort had been reigning in the bad boy thing because Sora  _ clearly _ was not responsible enough to be left alone with that stupid sexy bad guy smirk-

... _ wait. _

Abruptly, despite how obviously flustered he'd become, Sora blurted out the epiphany he'd just had. "Your bad guy face is the same as your sexy face!  _ That's _ why you kept randomly looking evil before!"

"...  _ pardon? _ " Unsurprisingly, Xehanort was no longer smirking, his expression falling in favor of being  _ thoroughly confused. _

Sora's blush finally started to fade a bit as he rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Ehehe… well, okay so, you've been super nice since we've started working together, right? But there were like, a few times where you looked all villainy suddenly again? And I was kinda worried at the time, but I trusted you and- and now I figured it out! You were just  _ flirting _ with me! It makes  _ so much  _ sense now!"

Xehanort just… Stared. He… learned something new about himself today, something he was not sure how to feel about. Maybe he was more of a sadist than he thought…

He awkwardly turned himself forward with his gaze cast down at the snow. "I… See."

Sora panicked. Xehanort was clearly upset, and he honestly hadn't fully processed that was even possible until that moment. "Wait- no! I didn't say it was a bad thing! Really! It- honestly, it's kinda cute. I like it, I promise. I mean, obviously, I turned into a lobster a second ago- you're just… you're good at talking. Um…"

Fortunately, Xehanort found the rambling encouragement both endearing and reassuring. He reached out to ruffle Sora's hair but wound up combing his fingers through it gently instead. "As long as you are not too put off."

Sora shook his head frantically despite the hand still resting on it. "Of course not! I told you I like it, I meant it!" Sora clung back to Xehanort's arm then, pouting childishly. "You're not allowed to be self conscious about being hot."

That earned Sora a snort, which in turn caused the boy to grin. There, crisis averted! Now they could go back to cuddling and being schmoopy. "Really, you're amazing, Xeha."

That drew out another pause from Xehanort. Perhaps he would not have thought as much of it had he not been so thoroughly… knocked off kilter before, but it had been… some time since he had heard his name shortened like that. It suddenly became too hard not to think of Eraqus- he had always called his name with all manner of abbreviations…

_ "Xeha!" _

_ "Xee~" _

_ "Nort." _

_ "Xay…" _

He was snapped out of the reminiscence by Sora's concern. "Sorry… Should I not call you that?"

Xehanort felt something of a hypocrite given he had just promised Sora he would avoid putting on a front, but now was… very much not the time to be having any sort of conversation about his would be ex. "No, I was just surprised. I am well aware my name is rather long. You may call me whatever you wish." Xehanort promised sweetly, taking one of Sora's hands from his arm and kissing the knuckles.

And Sora gave him a similarly sweet look- at first. Then it morphed into something dangerously mischievous. "....even if it's something super gross and cutesy?"

"...why do I feel I have walked into a line of fire…" Xehanort deadpanned.

"I don't know, you tell me, Cuddlenort." Sora replied seamlessly.

Xehanort made a face halfway between grimacing and trying not to laugh. That  _ was _ bad, and he was sure the worst had yet to come. Sora, of course, just looked proud of himself.

***

After another long trek and several more terrible pet names- Xehahunk, Babe-anort, and Xehaliscious, to name a few- they  _ finally _ made their way back to the base of the mountain. The fjord had melted, making it more than apparent they were  _ very late _ and missed all the action… but they had already gotten everything they had needed from Larxene, so it was fine.

It didn't take long to get to the actual city. It was bustling, people moving every which way as the make-shift accommodations for the mid summer snowstorm were broken down. Xehanort led them towards the castle grounds, still bundled up and arm in arm- it may not be  _ frigid  _ anymore, but it was still kinda chilly for islander standards. They didn't have to go far before Anna spotted them.

"There you are! We were about to send a search party back up the mountain!" Anna called as trotted over to them, the rest of her party in tow at a more leisurely pace. "Did you find your friend?"

Xehanort nodded. "Yes. She was injured, but not direly. Though, they were still more severe than my own, so arrangements were made for her to travel most of the way home with another party post haste." To make a point, he made a careful step in place with his 'injured' leg. 

"That's convenient." Kristoff chimed in as he caught up. He had many reasons not to trust diplomats who had been too close to Anna and Elsa at the moment.

Anna helpfully slapped him lightly on the arm with an admonishing call if his name. But before she could get much further Elsa had come to stand next to her. "These are the two who helped you?"

"Yep! Sora and Xehanort! They were like good luck charms- we didn't see any more of those monsters after they showed up!"

Xehanort decided to nip any suspicion about  _ that _ in the bud immediately. "I think they were simply warded off by larger numbers. We had our share of run ins when it was only the two of us, but less when it was three."

Elsa gave a gentle smile, and Sora noted she seemed  _ much _ happier than she had been in the castle. "Well, either way, thank you for taking care of my sister."

Xehanort gave a little bow, and Sora detached himself in favor of talking with his hands. "Of course! I'm sure if you were at our home when something happened, you'd do the same thing." Even Kristoff found it hard to find something suspicious about a peppy Sora…Though he did find something off.

"Wait, why are you still wearing a coat? Aren't you hot?"

"Hot!? Your summer is colder than our winter!" Sora exclaimed. But right after he realized  _ maybe  _ that wasn't proper to do in front of the Queen. The Queen with ice powers. "Uh- not that there's anything wrong with that."

Xehanort gave Sora a reassuring pat on the back. "He has a bit less experience with travel this far, forgive him."

Fortunately, Elsa laughed. "It's alright. In the end it seems it let you pack for the right weather."

"Things are still kind of hectic in town. If you're gonna be here for a while, why don't you stay in the palace? We have plenty of spare rooms." But as soon as Anna made the offer she turned back to Elsa, looking unsure. "Uh, that's okay, right?"

Elsa smiled. "Yes. It's about time those rooms get some use." Anna lit up, and Sora was pretty sure that was a more meaningful exchange than it seemed. They both seemed so happy now, it was nice.

Sora leaned against Xehanort and took his hand in his own with a small sigh. He wasn't exactly having the adventures he normally had, but it was still nice to see a world have a happy ending.

"I'm sorry, are you two…?" Came the curious voice of Olaf, who, to be fair, was eye level with their hands. Before either boy could answer Elsa cut in.

"Olaf, that's rude."

And then Anna turned to face her sister, hands on her hips. "Why is it rude, Elsa?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Well, because. They're…"

"Because they're  _ what, _ Elsa?"

Sora tried to interrupt the bickering,  _ especially _ because he felt guilty for being the seeming cause of what looked like an abrupt regression in their relationship. "Um… We don't really mind. Xehanort is my boyfriend- there was just, you know, more important stuff going on…" Which was kind of an ironic excuse, given that they had  _ definitely _ put off more important things in favor of each other for a while there…

Xehanort, on the other hand, was a little more aware that not every world found every kind of relationship normal. "I apologize if there's been a faux pas…" but before he could get much further Anna interjected.

"Oh! No. Nonononno. You have a HEALTHY and COMPLETELY NORMAL relationship. And NOTHING to be ashamed about.  _ See _ Elsa?" Anna practically shouted as she turned pointedly to her sister, who was using a hand to cover her face in embarrassment. On the other side of the group a look of realization crossed Kristoff's face.

"That explains so much…" he muttered, but not quietly enough.

"And what does  _ that  _ mean?" Elsa snapped. Anna turned to Kristoff and aggressively pantomimed for him to  _ stop _ and  _ quit while he was ahead _ .

"Nothing! Absolutely  _ nothing. _ " He stuttered.

Meanwhile, as all the chaos ensued, Olaf waddled closer to Sora and helpfully stated the obvious as he often did. "I think Elsa's embarrassed she likes girls."

***

After meals and a bit more time around the town Sora and Xehanort returned to the palace for their accommodations. There was another brief, less exciting reunion with Anna before they were shown to their rooms by the palace staff. The lavish rooms were a huge step up from the camping Sora was used to, and the timing had managed to perfectly line up with their own world hopping bedtimes.

Once alone and settled, Xehanort took a brief step out to ask Vanitas to keep an eye on Larxene in the Badlands- a trip that was fortunately only a matter of minutes with the help of dark corridors. Upon return he threw one last log onto the fireplace before finally crawling into bed.

Somehow, despite all odds, he and Sora had actually wound up together.

It was a matter of circumstance to be sure, but that was enough for him, for now at least. Then again, one might argue being at the right place at the right time was one of his greatest strengths. It was suddenly so obvious, of course Sora would find himself on the arm of any 'friend' who had managed to confess. His heart was too big, his love for friends something that ran so deep it was dangerously easy to flip into something more than platonic. The key to wooing Sora had simply been taking the time to befriend him and then be honest about his feelings, it was almost too simple.

Maybe it  _ was _ too simple. After all, he could tell himself that was simply how Sora was, but it didn't make the idea that literally anyone could have taken his place any less… unpleasant. Or that Sora had basically agreed to all this because he had felt too guilty to say no. That particularly made Xehanort feel disgusted with himself, even if for once he hadn't orchestrated any such feelings in the other party as part of some grandiose plan. He wasn't responsible for Sora's feelings or what he'd agreed to, but he felt like he was. Partially because he was  _ usually  _ responsible for such things in other people, and perhaps partially because he was just enough years older than the other boy that he should somehow just  _ know better _ even if that was preposterous. Alone in a dim room it was hard not to think about how fragile what he had obtained with Sora was, or how it was built on something potentially dangerous…

But then, just thinking about how brightly Sora had looked at him since, how he'd clung to him, how he'd fondly picked up and pointed out many of Xehanort's own habits… Sora clearly had  _ some _ real feelings for  _ him _ specifically, and that's what mattered. That was more than enough. Even in the worst case and Sora was acting out as a repressed teenager with a terribly blurred line of physical and emotional intimacy clinging to the first willing warm body, it was enough. Because Sora was something precious, and any time with him, no matter how brief, was something to be cherished.

In the end, Xehanort was happy.

***

Sora was not happy. He couldn't sleep. Even with the fireplace and too many blankets the room was too cold- the exact line where any part of his skin poked out of the covers immediately became  _ frigid _ and even tucking his head under the covers didn't seem to help any heat come back to the tip of his nose. He really hated the cold, but at least it was easier to think about that… literally anything else.

Sora was a social creature. Holding Xehanort's hand and wandering through the city while talking about nothing and everything had been  _ amazing _ , but it was as though the second Xehanort himself was no longer by his side every thought he shouldn't be having came rushing back in. It was like some sort of faulty object permanence- like if he couldn't actively see him he couldn't believe he wasn't somehow just gone forever. He had thought,  _ maybe _ , if he curled up with the cape Xehanort had given him it would help. He had it balled up next to him, hugging it like a misshapen stuffed animal and sticking his nose into it both for the warmth and faint soothing scent of the other boy. But it only helped so much.

He had told Xehanort to just not think about any of the logistics that would stand in their way, but now it was all he could think about. On top of everything else it made him feel like a hypocrite- which, ironically, if he remembered right, was the first thing Xehanort had ever said to him. Or one of the first things…The point being, having the voice of your new boyfriend be the one taunting you in your own personal bouts of self loathing was  _ particularly unhelpful _ . But Xehanort had been right, he  _ was _ a hypocrite- even if he tried to focus on the positive, think about all the good things he and Xehanort had done that day, it would inevitably lead to him thinking about all things he hoped they  _ would  _ do. But then he would stop and think  _ will we ever get a chance to do that? _ Not even anything dramatic or far reaching like weddings or milestones, just little things like… visiting certain worlds together or going on certain types of dates… like, thinking about having a cute picnic with Xehanort? Nope! Suddenly questioning if they would ever get to go to a world where they could even have a picnic. Or if they did find one, his friends showing up and then everyone fighting and everything being terrible and just...

It was dumb and he couldn't turn it off. He just wanted to focus on the present, but all there was right in that moment was… a lot of cold and a keepsake that just made him wish it was actually Xehanort instead. Sora didn't know what was wrong with him and he hated it. And he hated the cold, and…

More than anything, Sora hated being alone.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore. He felt bad, the last thing he wanted to do was bother Xehanort, especially not in the middle of the night, but he… he'd said a lot of sweet things and made a lot of sweet promises. Rain or shine- and it was definitely rain right now, so… so it'd be fine. Probably. Hopefully.

Sora crawled out of the bed, dragging one of the top blankets with him and draping it sadly over his bare shoulders. He didn't even get to the door before he regretted not putting on  _ at least _ socks, but it was too late to turn back now.

Xehanort's room was just next door, but it still felt too far away. He hesitated again when he got to the door, but the cold floor eating away at the soles of his feet pushed him into finally knocking.

When Xehanort opened the door his expression had been surprisingly awake, but as soon as he saw who it was he allowed it to fall back into something sleepy. Sora looked equal parts adorable and pathetic bundled up in the blanket that was dragging on the floor behind him like a toddler who had just seen a monster under their bed. He was worried, but he couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Good evening, Sora."

Sora, to his credit, was very sleep deprived and very stressed, and had very specifically been struggling with focusing his thoughts to something appropriate for a while. Focus was just hard for… different reasons now. Namely seeing his boyfriend in something that wasn't 8 layers of stiff fabric for the first time. Just… a tank top and boxers. Just… how dare he cover those beautifully sculpted arms with sleeves. Sleeves should be  _ illegal _ . Sora's eyes traced the lines of the muscles, following the joint of Xehanort's arm down to the  _ just barely _ covered pecs. The tank he was wearing was so  _ clingy _ . Not that painted on tacky muscle shirt sort of tight, but the kind of fabric that sort of bunched and wrinkled in places to leave  _ just enough  _ to the imagination while the rest of it stuck to the skin from either static or sweat and  _ holy shit he could see his abs though his shirt _ .

For a brief moment Xehanort was concerned when Sora didn't answer and seemed to just stare off into space. But fortunately, as he had made a point to remember Sora's last bout of ogling on the way down, it did not take long for him to realize the 'problem'. A smirk slowly spread across his face as he did his best to drape himself attractively against the door frame.

"Enjoying the view?"

It wasn't until Xehanort spoke that Sora snapped or of it. He blushed, but well… he'd been pretty much caught red handed, so what was the point in denying it? "Yes. Yes I am." He answered defiantly.

Sora's complete and utter lack of remorse left Xehanort snickering, and of course at the sound of the other boy's laughter Sora grinned proudly.

Once settled, Xehanort reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind Sora's ear. "What did you need, dear?" The question was asked sweetly and without even a hint of accusation. He half expected an answer as simple and sappy as 'I wanted to see you'.

Sora's grin fell at the question. Suddenly he was acutely aware that  _ the literal second _ he was reunited with Xehanort he was just somehow magically  _ fine. _ All of his anxiety and out of control thoughts had just been swept away by the sound of Xehanort laughing. It… probably said more about him than Xehanort, but either way the solution to his problems was  _ clearly _ to spend as much time with him as possible.

"Oh, um, I was having trouble sleeping- that's probably obvious, uh…" suddenly he felt self conscious again, but Xehanort just stood there patiently, letting Sora find his words. "I was hoping I could sleep with- Um! Not  _ with _ you, you know, just- I want bedtime snuggles, okay!?"

Xehanort did his best not to laugh- Sora was being  _ adorable, _ but was clearly upset and needed to be properly taken care of. "I know what you mean, dear. And I think I would rather enjoy that myself." He reassured, reaching out to take Sora's hand and guide him into the room.

And Sora happily followed, his embarrassment subsiding as soon as Xeha agreed. The bed was more than big enough to fit both of them, and soon enough Sora was crawling in and snuggling up to Xehanort, who neatly pulled Sora's blanket over the ones already on the bed and both of them. This was already  _ so much _ better, Xehanort was warm  _ and  _ willing to be the big spoon. Sora gave a content sigh before rolling over and tucking his nose into Xehanort's neck, already feeling sleep actually in reach again.

Said nose, however, was still freezing, and Xehanort couldn't help the small flinch as it was pressed against his bare skin. Immediately he brought a hand to Sora's hair, wanting to reassure the boy that the touch had only been startling, not unwanted. "You are even less well adapted to the cold than me, it seems." He teased softly.

He felt Sora's face shift into a pout before the brunette clung childishly to him, burying cold appendages under and between Xehanort's much warmer ones. "I'm not less adapted! I'm just not a space heater unlike  _ some people _ ." He mumbled back petulantly. It was absurd- Xehanort wasn't abnormally warm by any means- but right now he needed the absurdity as much as the warmth.

Xehanort chuckled and Sora could feel the sound reverberate in his chest. The feeling was almost as nice as the hand that kept idly petting his hair.

"...you are likely still suffering the after effects of Elsa's magic. I'm sure the lingering chill will be gone by morning." Xehanort offered more seriously. Honestly, Sora hadn't thought of that, but now that it had been pointed out it seemed obvious. He had asked himself what had been wrong with him, and it was too easy and tempting to lump the uncontrollable anxiety in with the chills even if there wasn't any real reason to. 

Sora carefully peeked up at Xehanort, a smirk slowly stretching across his lips. "...does that mean you can kiss it to make it better?"

Xehanort smirked in turn. "Well, we can certainly try." And just like that Xehanort was tilting Sora's chin up and kissing him sweetly. Despite the teasing tones leading up to it it was an innocent little thing, short and gentle. And maybe it was because Xehanort was overcompensating as he bat away his own  _ less innocent _ thoughts of how to warm Sora up. 

Sora appreciated it regardless, smiling an honest little love struck smile back at the boy holding him in his arms. And then he yawned like a sleepy cat, a sight that was so adorable it left Xehanort biting his lip to prevent himself from audibly cooing.

"Get some sleep, dear." Xehanort urged. Sora's eyes had already fallen shut, but he managed a hum of acknowledgement. 

"...you always did help me sleep good…" Sora muttered. Xehanort blinked in surprise.

"...so I did." It was several steps more inappropriate than simply bittersweet to romanticize such a thing, but Xehanort couldn't bring himself to deny Sora regardless. 

"Sweet dreams, Sora."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gay Elsa necessary at all for the story? No. Was it disproportionately entertaining to write? Yes, yes it was.


	9. Grand Theft Naval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Xehanort thinks too much and the boys steal a ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this taking so long. We moved recently, so I just wasn't able to do anything for a while. On top of that, I had a lot of trouble with this chapter- I kept feeling like the tone was too inconsistent and some things were rushed, but I have been assured by my alpha reader that it read fine. Also it has only been alpha read, not beta read, so apologies in advance for my dyslexia induced typos. Also-also, holy crap this particular pirates movie is so tediously complicated and it has been so hard to plan around and I don't blame Nomura at all for just going "fuck it, Sora is here now. And now he's not. And now he's showing up to the war 15 minutes late with starbucks. deal with it."
> 
> As a consolation for the wait this chapter is a bit long(and spicey), so enjoy!

Xehanort knew he was dreaming.

It was the kind of dream where even though you knew that was what it was you couldn't act on the knowledge. A blessing and a curse- a reassurance that nothing was real and that there were no consequences, but at the same time a lingering feeling of helplessness with the constant knowledge that you should be able to do more…

The halls of Scala were painted around him from his memories. The details were almost too crisp, forcing him to acknowledge how well he knew the place.

As he entered the library he found Eraqus, perched on the sil elegantly with the light reflecting off his hair. Their game board was there, but packed away on the floor rather than splayed out between their seats, something that had been happening more and more as of late. Eraqus paid him no mind, continuing to stare out the window while perfectly cast in the rays of the evening sunset.

Xehanort sat on the sil next Eraqus, not so far that the board could be set up between them, but not so close that they were snug together either. He kept his back to the window, staring at the rows of books that were so familiar he could pick out individual titles. 

"You look good in leather… even if it makes you look like a bad guy." 

Xehanort scoffed at the backhanded praise. Typical Eraqus… "It's practical."

Eraqus snickered. "Of course it is."

A moment passed and nothing was said. When the silence lingered too long Eraqus reached out to take the other boy's hand. Xehanort flinched away at the touch.

"...hey, look at me."

"I'd rather not."

"Why?"

Xehanort didn't answer.

"Because you killed me?"

Xehanort tensed visibly, this time Eraqus taking the hand and squeezing it whether Xehanort wanted him to or not. Xehanort looked pointedly in the opposite direction.

"I…"

What did he say? What  _ could  _ he say? He knew what happened, the base facts of what had- will- transpired. But he didn't… really know what was going on at that time, the feelings and words that had led up to that moment. That Eraqus was killed for the sake of forging the X-blade could only be a tenth of the truth, at best… but what was he supposed to do about  _ that _ even? Walk up to the man he would become and ask him to explain, in excruciating detail, how the one thing left that had once brought him happiness had fallen apart over the course of decades?

He was shaking, and he knew he looked like he was about to cry. He hated being exposed like this, being forced to wear his emotions on his sleeve. But prodding at that anxiety was just another way for nightmares to torment him- in a twisted way it was more effective than if he had been forced to actually experience the other boy's death.

"... If you regret it so much, then just apologize…" Eraqus offered soothingly, scooting closer to him.

"I can't." Xehanort answered too quickly. "I don't... have the authority…" He hated the idea of hurting Eraqus like that now, but he couldn't know if he  _ regretted  _ it. He didn't have all the pieces, he hardly had a handful of them. Despite everything he squeezed Eraqus' hand back, desperate for the comfort. 

Xehanort had never feared the unknown, because he had always believed with enough effort it could  _ become _ known. But this?

This was hell.

The second he felt tears fall he tried to wipe them away, the leather of his gloves rough against his skin and turning it red.

Eraqus pressed his cheek into his shoulder, switching the hand holding Xehanorts to be able to wrap him up in a hug. "Crying doesn't make you weak-"

"Don't patronize me."

Eraqus sighed, looking more disappointed than angry. It would have been easier if he had been angry…

Xehanort took a deep breath, finally getting the tears to stop and pushing Eraqus away. "Why am I always the one who has to apologise?"

And if Eraqus hadn't been angry before, he was now. "You  _ killed  _ me!"

"And for all I know you did something worse!" He snapped back. "Is it so wrong of me to believe there was a good reason for what happened? Am I really so terrible for wanting to have faith in myself just once!?"

Xehanort finally looked at Eraqus to find him glaring- the same righteous, indignant glare Xehanort had seen too many times before he'd left. 

"Maybe it would be easier to give you the benefit of the doubt if you had admitted you were wrong even just once in your life."

The words knocked Xehanort breathless like a physical blow. "I can admit when I am wrong, Eraqus. I have done many wrong, terrible things- I am  _ painfully _ aware of that. But I refuse to accept the blurring of 'different' and 'wrong', and certainly not that parts of myself need to be 'fixed' for me to be good enough to even  _ be _ ."

This time Eraqus broke eye contact, his gaze drifting to the floor. "I don't… think you need to be  _ fixed _ . I just…  _ worry.  _ You're always doing dangerous things now- and I know you can take care of yourself. But as long as you're out there, the chance that you'll get hurt will never be zero…"

This time Xehanort's breath left him for a different reason. What Eraqus had said now seemed too good to be true- because it was. Because part of him still knew that none of this was real, that his mind was simply telling him exactly what he wanted to hear, but he couldn't seem to muster the strength to care.

"...thank you." The words were quiet and  _ tired.  _ It seemed like it should have been impossible to be so tired when he was already asleep, but here he was…

His and Eraqus' hands met half way this time. Eraqus offered an equally tired smile. "...I love you."

"I love you too."

There was quiet between them, but this time it was much more peaceful. Eraqus shifted his weight to lean on Xehanort again, with Xehanort returning the gesture by carefully resting his cheek on raven hair.

"...I wish it was really this easy to be honest with you." It was barely a whisper. Eraqus didn't hear him, but he knew what was said all the same.

"I know." Of course he did. He wasn't really Eraqus, just the cumulation of every fear and fantasy Xehanort had of him. At least it was more of the latter now. Eraqus chuckled. "You never were good at sharing your feelings. Even when you were being honest, you always tried to make it seem like you might not be..."

It wasn't a criticism, just a fact. Xehanort hummed in agreement, he knew that well enough about himself.

"I am sorry, about that at least."

"It's alright, I know I'm not perfect either." If only Eraqus would actually say something like that…

Still, Xehanort tried to let himself live in the fantasy. "You're judgey." His tone was teasing.

" _ Judgey. _ " Eraqus repeated judgingly. Xehanort chuckled, Eraqus was always cute when he did things like that…

The thought should have made him happy, but it hurt. The longer he dwelled, the more it felt like a taste of something he couldn't have, at least not any more…

"I don't want to think anymore…"

Eraqus perked up at that, squeezing Xehanort's hand reassuringly as he pulled away enough to kiss the other boy's cheek. "You'll get through it." 

It was a sweet reassurance, but when Xehanort finally met Eraqus' gaze, the boy's expression was anything but- a sly smirk and mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "And I can certainly think of a few ways to keep you from thinking."

Before he could react Xehanort suddenly had a lap full of Eraqus pressing him back against the window. It was wrong- objectively inappropriate to flip so quickly from something so serious to something so  _ base.  _ But it was also something familiar, too many past arguments having somehow ended between sheets or bent over desks…

And that was how Xehanort justified leaning in and kissing Eraqus without any further reservation. It was opened mouthed and heavy, full of tongue and breathless. The point was to wisk his thoughts away, after all.

Their bodies fit together perfectly, just how he remembered. His hand combed the ponytail out of Eraqus' hair, the strands cascading down and brushing against both their cheeks. Eraqus' hands were already pushing up his shirt- at some point the organization coat had been replaced with his old school clothes, surely because it better facilitated memories of being stripped down in the throes of passion.

But that was in and of itself too much thinking for this moment. One of his own hands slipped into Eraqus' robes to slide down and grope his ass while the other fisted tighter in his hair. Eraqus moaned, nipping at Xehanort's bottom lip and tugging at it as he pulled back just enough to catch his breath.

Xehanort took the opportunity to start kissing down the other boy's neck, even the taste of his skin exactly how he remembered. Eraqus moaned into the open air, breathilly calling " _ Xay… _ " which only served to spur him on all the more. Soon his hands were pushing the robe off Eraqus' shoulders, kisses quickly turning into nips and bites. Eraqus' hands were already stripping off his belts.

In the next moment Eraqus ground his hips against him, and that was all it took for Xehanort finally, blissfully  _ forget. _

***

For once in his life, Sora was the first to rise. It struck Sora as odd at first- Xehanort seemed like the type who slept light and woke punctually. But then, for all he knew he hadn't gotten any sleep until Sora joined him.

And more importantly, Xehanort was apparently adorable when he slept.

Besides the fact that he'd woken up to Xehanort's comforting scent pressed right into his nose, it only took a small tilt of his head to see the peaceful expression on the other boy's face. Looking at him like this it felt like he was seeing Xehanort  _ actually _ relaxed for the first time, and he just… he was so happy seeing Xehanort like that. And… maybe a little worried, because it made him realize how tense he was all the time…

But for now Sora focused on resisting the urge to brush Xehanort's hair out of his face because he really didn't want to wake him up. But he was just… so cute. And so  _ gorgeous.  _ He could see how long his eyelashes were like this, and how glossy his lips were…

Unable to help himself Sora carefully fished out his phone, opening the camera and holding it up over the both of them. It…Well, it wasn't creepy right? Because when he thought about it as taking pictures of his sleeping boyfriend it… maybe was a little. But it was just cute! And he would show him and tease him when he woke up and if it was an actual problem he could delete it and apologize right? 

So after hesitating he grinned and snapped the selfie of the both of them, doing his best to put the phone away and snuggle back up to Xehanort without disturbing him. He didn't have the shivers anymore, but his sleepy boyfriend was still way too comfortable to  _ not _ cuddle with.

Sora dozed like that for a while, and eventually Xehanort began to stir.

Xehanort didn't open his eyes, he was too comfortable and his other senses registered the situation as familiar. Countless times in the past he had woken pressed up to a warm body in either his or Eraqus' bed, so after a familiar dream the sweet hazy moments of waking led him to believe that was exactly where he was- home, on Scala, with Eraqus in his arms.

Sleepily, he began pressing kisses to the skin under his lips. They were tiny, lazy things at first, but the nature of the dream he had just had left them quickly turning into something needier. In no time at all he had begun thoroughly necking the other boy, nipping softly under his jaw.

His hand slid across a smooth, toned stomach as his teeth scraped lightly over strained muscles, all causing Sora to finally let out a quiet moan.

Xehanort froze, recognizing the voice immediately as not the one he expected. His eyes snapped open to confirm skin that was too dark and hair that was too short and light to be Eraqus. Suddenly he was engulfed in an all consuming guilt- logically it should have been an honest enough mistake, it was the first time he'd shared a bed with someone beside Eraqus since he was barely more than a toddler after all, but he still felt  _ dirty.  _ Perhaps more so because Sora knew nothing about Eraqus- about really any of his romantic history. And all of that wasn't even accounting for the fact he had just rushed Sora into  _ far _ more physical intimacy than they had shared previously simply because he was  _ sleepy.  _

He pressed one last, much gentler kiss to the skin under his lips before pulling away. "...My apologies…"

He didn't get very far. Sora grabbed the hand that had been low key feeling him up as it retracted, lacing their fingers together and trying to pull Xehanort back. "What? No, don't stop…" Sora, being inexperienced as he was, had assumed that  _ he _ had been the one to do something wrong, somehow sending some sort of wrong cue to make Xehanort think he was uncomfortable- which was very  _ very _ untrue. He was pretty sure he would actually be fine with Xehanort doing that for the next… ever, actually.

Xehanort had no idea what to do. Because obviously he still felt guilty, but also Sora had literally just  _ begged him not to stop _ and that was enough to fry a brain even as active as his own. Then Sora tilted his head to bare his neck to him, and for as much as Xehanort was supposed to have a mythically strong will, a barely awake, horny Xehanort really couldn't do much against that. Honestly at this point he was just grateful he wasn't hard…

So he leaned in and got back to work, trailing kisses from Sora's shoulder back up to his jaw. This time, with proper awareness of who he was necking, things were less rushed. Each kiss was not gentler per say, but more meticulous- more effort being put in to bringing calculated levels of pleasure to someone who had yet to experience such a thing rather than the lazy, heady kisses meant for someone who had long since stopped expecting such delicate treatment. As far as Sora was concerned it was just a difference to be chalked up to how awake Xehanort was- which  _ technically _ wasn't wrong.

Not that Sora was doing much thinking.

He had brought a hand up to tangle in Xehanort's hair, pressing on him in encouragement whenever something felt  _ particularly _ wonderful, which… Well, was often, but Sora had far more important things to focus on than if he was being too generous with positive ratings. Tiny little sounds of pleasure spilled from his lips as his eyes fell shut, cut off little moans that he would try to stop only after they had reached his ears.

As Xehanort moved up Sora's jaw he gave a light nip to his earlobe, and Sora couldn't help but let out a much louder, sharper sound. What part of him that could still think some semblance of straight wondered how being  _ bit _ could feel so good… Then Xehanort gave a quiet, dark chuckle in response to Sora's reaction, the sound reverberating right in the shell of his ear. Sora  _ shuddered _ head to toe, squirming as somehow the rich, velvety tone of Xehanort's voice managed to work him up more than any of the touches had.

Suddenly Sora was overwhelmed with the need to give back. Part of him was aware that it wasn't fair for the amazing, wonderful boy lighting up his nerves like this to have to do all the work, but mostly it was fueled by a need for an outlet- to be able to pour the  _ too much _ he was feeling into something else. He pushed Xehanort's head up to kiss him properly, this time letting no shyness prevent him from _ completely _ tasting the other boy in a wet, tongue filled kiss. Xehanort honest to Kingdom Hearts tasted something like  _ chocolate _ \- rich and just a hint bitter- along with something tangy that was probably more befitting of an islander. Like always, Xehanort proved to be a patient teacher, guiding Sora through the motions of a passionate kiss until the clumsiness faded into pure  _ need _ . 

The idea of literally swapping spit had always seemed gross to Sora, even after puberty hit and everyone around him suddenly had too appealing curves or muscles. It was proving to be something that had to be  _ experienced _ to be understood, and  _ oh _ did he understand the appeal now. There was something so  _ intimate _ about the small invasion of his tongue gliding over Xehanort's  _ teeth _ , the knowledge that something was where it wasn't supposed to be making it feel  _ right _ instead of  _ wrong. _ It was just a hint of illicitness that made things  _ exciting _ without them being  _ too _ exciting. 

Sora was certain he could kiss Xehanort like this for hours.

He had no idea how much time had passed when Xehanort finally slowed things down to lazier, chaster little things. It answered a question Sora hadn't even been aware he had until now- how  _ did _ one actually stop making out? His only real frame of reference for these sorts of things was porn, and well, needless to say there wasn't a lot of  _ stopping  _ happening in those examples. This was much nicer than the sort of abrupt, blue balls inducing end he hadn't realized he'd been expecting.

He sighed contentedly, looking up at Xehanort awestruck and blushing. "You're… amazing." Sora breathed, brushing his boyfriend's hair carefully out of his eyes. That had been… perfect, not too much and not too little. He was so content he felt like he could just fall back asleep…

Xehanort smiled back, unable not to with Sora being so sweet like this. Still, he was… torn. What should have been a perfect, intimate moment was stained by guilt and betrayal. The way Sora was looking at him now should have made him happy- and it did- but it also posed a glaring reminder of the difference in their life experience. With Eraqus it had been easy, they had both been young and inexperienced and stumbled through learning everything together. But Sora was now learning things for the first time, while he had now done… well, a bit of everything to be frank. It made it hard not to feel like he was somehow taking advantage of him, pushing him into more than he wanted. Sora was clearly happy with how things turned out,  _ this time _ , but that didn't change the fact that it had happened at all because of Xehanort's own misplaced sexual habits. 

It made him nervous, constantly afraid he would somehow hurt Sora when he didn't mean to.

And that wasn't even taking into account the fact he had mistaken him for Eraqus. What was he supposed to say?  _ Well, Sora, I had an existential fueled nightmare regarding the recent knowledge that I apparently killed my last lover after sixty years of on off romance. And then my subconscious decided it couldn't handle that anymore it turned into a sex dream about my ex- _

...was Eraqus actually his ex?

The answer hit him hard as he realized by all technicality it was a resounding  _ no.  _ Since coming to this time he had most certainly mourned their relationship as though it had ended, gone through the entire process of grieving  _ more _ than just the relationship as he tried to cope with the knowledge. He had prepared himself for the inevitable first breakup that was waiting for him when he returned, but it hadn't happened yet- at least not to this him. He had every intention of ending the relationship, but that didn't mean he  _ had.  _ His situation was a far cry from a playboy who hadn't had the decency to wait before moving on to the next thrill, but it still felt  _ wrong. _

Because even if he put everything else aside, if he asked himself if he still loved Eraqus, the answer was obviously yes. 

It wouldn't hurt so much if he didn't.

He should tell Sora, explain everything to him  _ immediately. _ But right now he was so  _ happy.  _ How could he take that away from him? So instead he leaned in and kissed Sora again to chase the thoughts from his mind, burying his nose into brunette spikes the moment after.

Sora was happy to snuggle up to Xehanort in turn, giving another happy little content hum. 

"...hey Xeha?"

Xehanort paused, now worried that despite his best efforts, Sora had detected something was wrong. "...yes?"

"Since we met in the realm of sleep…" 

Just that was enough to send Xehanort's mind reeling. Was Sora having second thoughts? Had he remembered something he had done back then he had just now determined had been too much to forgive?

"...does that make you the man of my dreams?"

Xehanort let out a small groan of both exasperation and relief. Sora snickered, seemingly pleased with the reaction. Honestly, if he hadn't already been so high strung he would have found the sentiment charming…

He pressed one last kiss to Sora's cheek before sitting up, much to the brunette's disappointment. Sora's whine of protest was tempting to be sure, but if he stayed here like this for much longer his thoughts would surely drive him to doing something stupid. "We should get ready to depart."

Sora pouted. "5 more minutes…?"  _ That _ took quite a bit of effort to resist, but somehow Xehanort managed.

"And here I thought you would be far more eager for breakfast." On cue Sora's stomach growled. His tune changed quickly, sitting up with a bright grin.

"Well, when you put it like that."

***

They both changed, ate, and gave fond farewell to the royal family of Arendelle with no trouble, seamlessly sneaking off back to the gummi ship to continue their voyage. Sora had every reason to be in a chipper-even-by-Sora-standards mood given what they'd accomplished. They were actually working with something of a lead even if they were continuing their world by world investigation  _ and _ he had spent the morning being kissed silly by the most attractive boy he had ever met. It was a good day to be Sora.

They landed without issue, no interruptions, no unfortunately timed phone calls from other heroes wondering why Sora hadn't checked in, or worse. Xehanort had been worried about timing as Sora would normally be stopping by the Mysterious Tower again before moving forward, largely because it was the easiest thing to worry about.

The brief time he had to himself had worked wonders for his nerves, able to take the brief moments of packing and dressing to calm his mind without the agitant of his paranoia immediately present. It helped remind him that, extenuating circumstances aside, for all the time they spent together through much of it Eraqus really had treated him poorly. He never seemed to fully grasp that sometimes Xehanort needed to just be alone to take care of himself, that it wasn't personal or some sort of petty retraction of his presence to spite the other boy. It made it just a bit easier, at least for now, to tell himself he wasn't completely terrible for moving on, even if things were… messy.

He still had no idea how to address Sora about Eraqus or if he even should, but he at least had gotten enough space to realize that finding that answer would take  _ time _ . So he was going to at least try to not make himself suffer while he figured it out…

Or perhaps it was just shameless rationalization to procrastinate such a dangerous topic. In the meantime, he had focused more on the much easier issue of his and Sora's different… experience with intimacy.  _ That _ he knew he had to talk to Sora about sooner rather than later- the idea of the conversation instead rearing its head while they were in the middle of something was… unpleasant _ . _

Where they had landed painted an almost painfully safe backdrop for such a conversation. The sound of the waves and smell of the sea breeze were all just the same as home. It should have been romantic, he hoped it was for Sora at least.

Sora had taken his hand and guided him closer to the surf, excitedly watching a large ship slowly make its way to port further down the island. 

"Nope, definitely not the Pearl. Still a nice ship though!"

Xehanort offered a smile. "I'm sure we will find your friends of this world soon enough." He looked back out towards the sea. "...in the meantime, I… wanted to speak with you about this morning."

Sora blinked curious as Xehanort began, but by the end he had shot up straight with a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "Oh no- did I do something wrong? Was it too much tongue? If I do something weird you don't like you can just tell me then really I won't mind!" 

Xehanort couldn't help but turn back to face him again. It was entirely backwards, yet it was impossible not to be endeared by how sweet Sora was being. Of course he would worry about something as mundane as if he was good at kissing, he was too cute… "No, nothing like that, I promise."

Sora relaxed, his hand dropping from covering his face as his expression slowly shifted to confusion. "then… What's up?"

Eye contact was too hard again. Xehanort was usually long winded and eloquent, but he knew sometimes it was better to simply rip the band-aid off and be blunt. He took a deep breath. "I… am not a virgin. And I don't want to push you, but it has been some time and I worry that I will misinterpret subtleties, so I want to be sure you know that I will take no offense to being stopped… or that it may simply be for the best that the initiation of certain things is left entirely in your hands." Or he could be long winded and blunt…

Sora tilted his head, still looking confused. Xehanort was steeling himself to explain in more detail when Sora answered. "Well, yeah. I kinda figured. You're older than me and you're… well you know, you."

For as much as there was to unpack in that, Xehanort was having trouble getting past that it  _ sounded like  _ Sora had just called him…  _ easy,  _ to put it lightly. "... _ excuse me? _ "

Sora then realized how what he said had apparently sounded and began aggressively backpedaling. "Oh! Nonono- I didn't mean it like that! I just- you know! You like learning stuff and I figured that extended to  _ fun _ things at least a little!"

And Xehanort relaxed because Sora was right. There may have been more than one embarrassing times in the past where he had become distracted in the middle of sex by the realization that the human body could do something in a way he hadn't known before… "...I see…"

"I'm sorry! I promise I don't think you're slutty and I would never call you something like that!" Sora exclaimed, placing both his hands around one of Xehanort's. But then he paused, eyes darting to the side. "Well, unless that's what you're into…"

Xehanort snorted despite himself, earning him a grin from the brunette. "'What I'm into' is not working myself into a panic worrying I've pushed you too far." He quipped back, punctuating the word 'you' with a small tap on the tip of Sora's nose.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "I appreciate it, but I know the word 'no'. And if you're this worked up after just  _ kissing _ I'm pretty sure I'll be fine." For as much as he was teasing there was a sweeter sentiment there too- he had come to trust Xehanort quite a bit, he knew he wasn't going to hurt him.

"Fair enough."

And then Sora leaned in, rocking forward on the balls of his feet with a coy look on his face. "And for the record, anything above the belt is free game." He had been trying to diffuse the tension that was left with the obvious resolution to a conversation like this- sloppy beach make outs. But instead of being at all seduced Xehanort just raised a skeptical, somewhat condescending eyebrow at him.

Sora pouted. "Oh come on! You're not  _ that _ much older than me. Stop acting like I'm some damsel!" 

Xehanort's expression evened quickly- it had surprisingly not occurred to him that worrying too much might come off as irritating coddling. The last thing he wanted was to treat Sora like his previous companions had… "...my apologies."

Sora blinked, he appreciated the apology, but he had been mostly play angry, not actually upset. "It's okay." He sank back down onto his heels finally, switching back to holding Xehanort's hand with just one of his. "How old  _ are _ you?" He finally asked. It seemed relevant.

"...Ninety-four."

" _ Xeha! _ "

He sighed. "Nineteen."

" _ What!? _ We would have been in highschool together! The way you kept talking I thought you were Lea's age."

Xehanort raised another eyebrow, this time because apparently Sora considered Lea 'not  _ that _ much older than him', but that was a can of worms for another day. "It isn't about the number, but rather the experience. Three years is little on paper, but I… became  _ active _ when I was fifteen. That is four years of…  _ ingenuity  _ compared to your fresh start."

It was Sora's turn to raise an eyebrow. Xehanort's refusal to just  _ say _ things like 'sex' was not particularly convincing."' _ Ingenuity' _ ? If this is your way of telling me you're into some weird kinky shit you know I'm not gonna judge you right?"

Xehanort actually blushed. "That's not what I-" but before he could say anything else Sora leaned in and pecked him on the lips.

"How about I be the one to initiate anything below the waist. Does that sound good to you?" Sora offered sweetly, giving Xehanort's hand a reassuring squeeze. 

Xehanort squeezed his hand back. "Yes. Thank you."

Sora grinned brightly as they seemed to solve the pacing conundrum, but then a thought occurred to him. "Oh- but, you'll be okay with that, right? I don't wanna like… work you up and leave you alone with it or anything, that wouldn't be fair either."

And Xehanort was back to blushing, trying to understand how Sora could talk so easily about something so… scandalous. Experience mattered more than age as he said, and virgin or not apparently Sora's experiences left him able to easily ponder out loud the logistics of his boyfriend's hypothetical unattended erection.

And here he had been worried.

"...I'll be fine." He reassured awkwardly. Sora grinned again.

"Oh, so  _ that _ 's what you're into, got it."

" _ Sora!"  _ He protested, but the other boy just laughed.

***

Much to Sora's disappointment, their conversation did not end in sloppy beach makeouts- largely because he had actually flustered Xehanort  _ too much. _ Which was a weird enough concept in and of itself,  _ flustering Xehanort, _ and that wasn't even accounting for the fact the other boy had basically just given him a lecture about being the 'more experienced' one. 

But it was alright. He still got to be cute on the beach with his wonderful boyfriend, even if he was a worry wart.

Unfortunately they were finally getting back to being productive, or trying to at least. It was a big world, and they didn't really have the means to go island hopping on their own... Plus, visiting Port Royal in the middle of the day was a lot different than on a night when the town was half in lock down. They didn't exactly fit in, it made him miss Donald…

It was sometime after the third heckling and a mother shielding her child from them that Sora had had about enough. The two ducked back to the edge of town- not that they had made it far in- before they could make much more of a scene. "Okay, we gotta do something to blend in! This is getting ridiculous, don't you know some magic or something?"

Xehanort shook his head. "Unfortunately I am not versed in the sort of spell you are used to, that magic was developed after my time. But there is always the old fashioned way "

Sora tilted his head curiously, prompting the other to continue.

"As I did in Corona, we need only acquire garments from this word. Simple enough, no?"

Sora crossed his arms as he considered it. "Well, getting to an actual clothing store might still be hard, but I guess that makes sense…" he closed his eyes as he imagined ways to navigate the town as unnoticed as possible before nodding. "Yeah! We just gotta sneak in to fit in."

Xehanort chuckled at Sora's enthusiasm. "Very well. Lead the way."

And so Sora did, eventually landing them in a small shop that proudly boasted 'the finest trends from England', not that that meant anything to Sora. The boys were quick to pull things off racks and pay the shopkeep, who graciously accepted Xehanort's lazy excuses about being foreign merchants wanting to make a better impression on prospective business partners. They were directed to changing rooms without fuss.

When Sora stepped out he was wearing something remarkably similar to what he had every previous visit. There were changes- the fur of the collar was a different colour and much shorter, the leather of the coat wasn't the intricate patchwork but instead embossed with complex filagree. Perhaps it had been a subconscious draw to the faint memories he had.

Xehanort stepped out only a moment after. In an ironic opposition to Sora's obviously pirate like ensemble, Xehanort's clothes were much more reminiscent of the local Navy and government men. The blue and gold brocade overcoat was somehow perfectly tailored for him, elegantly draped over a dark, neatly buttoned waistcoat. A white cravat- a word Sora only knew thanks to the one Ienzo wore- was tucked in neatly, perfectly framed by the stiff mandarin collar of the coat. And if it wasn't already too much, the longest strands of his hair had been pulled back into a ponytail held in place by a matching blue ribbon.

Needless to say Sora had yet to break his ogling streak.

But this time Xehanort was prepared for it, smirking smugly back as Sora's eyes roamed over him. " _ Captain _ Sora."

Sora's eyes snapped back to Xehanort's when he spoke, the older boy's expression causing his stomach to churn with the overwhelming desire to push him against the wall and kiss him senseless. Or, again, be pushed, either or.

But unfortunately not only were they in public, but they had also just spent a great deal of time finding a way to  _ not _ draw attention to themselves, and going at it would obviously subvert that… so instead he simply returned, " _ Admiral  _ Xehanort." 

Xehanort's smirk only widened. He was admittedly having much the same internal debate over self control as his dear Sora- he was  _ far _ too enticing in his little pirate gettup, especially with how much he seemed to immediately lean into the persona. What he wouldn't give to yank him up by the lapels and- but no, they had to… Focus.

Which was much easier said than done, with the electricity sparking between them as it was. 

Finally Xehanort cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away. "Well, we should get going then."

In response Sora similarly did his best to look anywhere  _ but _ at Xehanort. "R-right…"

***

They spent some time poking around Port Royal now unimpeded, but unsurprisingly there wasn't much of interest.

Sora plopped down on the sand of the beach just outside of town, huffing in exasperation. "How are we supposed to search the rest of the world without a ship! Even if we could hitch a ride on one, it's not like it'd stop at the places  _ we _ need to go…"

Xehanort came to stand beside him, offering a sly smirk. "I thought the answer to that was obvious." He said ominously.

Sora craned his head back, looking at Xehanort half upside down so he could see him past the brim of his hat. "What do you mean?"

The mischievous glint in Xehanort's eyes only grew. "Well, you're a pirate, are you not?"

It took Sora a moment to connect all the dots, but once he did he shot up, sitting up high on his knees and turning to face Xehanort. "You think we should just steal one!?"

"Why not?"

"We can't just steal a ship from someone!"

Xehanort cocked an eyebrow. "That's not a very pirate like answer."

"But!"

"What would Jack think?"

That gave Sora pause. Jack would definitely encourage him to steal a ship. He'd probably be super proud of him if he managed to pull it off, too. And thinking of Jack made him think about the other things he knew about this world and- well, maybe there were some people who probably deserved to get their boat stolen. So it was… fine?

Besides, he was supposed to be getting in better touch with his darkness anyway. And in Arendelle they sort of got…  _ distracted _ from his training on that front.

Just as the determination was seeping into Sora's expression Xehanort added, "Besides, don't you think it would be… exciting?"

And if Jack's approval hadn't been enough to motivate him, the fact that the  _ wrong _ head had now determined that this was  _ absolutely _ the best course of action was the final nail in the coffin. 

Sora jumped to his feet, suddenly  _ excruciatingly _ aware of the implications of kneeling next to his boyfriend. "Alright! Let's steal a ship!"

A sea fairing heist was clearly an ideal second date. 

***

With the convenient aid of being able to  _ magically breath underwater _ and  _ basically fly _ , stealing a ship turned out to be stupidly easy. They scouted for a ship that had a decent supply stock, waited for the coast to be clear, and snuck on board. Magic made it easy to do things quietly and quickly, and before they knew it they were kicking off the gangplank and pulling out of the harbor. A few well placed aeros and time stops kept them from getting boarded and made for a speedy getaway, even in broad daylight. You'd think they'd have better security with all the piracy about, but then again, it normally took more than two people to man a ship this size. 

"It appears we're in the clear, Captain." Xehanort called from where he was leaning over the rails, watching Port Royal dwindle into the horizon.

At the helm Sora was absolutely  _ grinning _ from ear to ear. "Holy crap! I can't believe it was that easy!" He carefully readjusted his grip on the wheel, reveling in the feel of the wood under his hands. Piloting a ship felt great, piloting one he had just  _ stolen _ felt  _ amazing.  _

Xehanort sauntered his way back over to Sora. "Someone seems to be enjoying himself."

To which Sora simply responded, "We just stole a friggin  _ ship. _ " Sora had changed his tune  _ very _ quickly, but Xehanort was glad. This was obviously better than dear Sora being ridden with guilt over his new life of piracy. 

"A fine ship at that." He looked around the thing, it really was a rather fine catch, but ultimately his eyes fell back to Sora. "With an even finer Captain."

Sora's grin turned impish, unable to help eyeing Xehanort up and down again. "And a  _ very _ fine crew." Though after he said it he reconsidered- not the fine part, obviously, but Xeha was dressed way too fancy to just be a part of the  _ crew _ , or even a first mate. "Or, actually…" Sora licked his lips unconsciously. "Maybe the good Admiral is here to catch the dashing young pirate."

It was Xehanort's turn to grin, carefully placing himself on the opposite side of the wheel and clamping his hands over Sora's where he held it. "Well, stealing a ship  _ is _ quite a crime." He practically purred, leaning over the wheel between the spokes all the closer to Sora.

Sora could already feel the sparks flying between them, his breath beginning to come out a soft pants. "So what are you gonna do about it,  _ Admiral. _ "

"I suppose I'll have to put you in your place." Sora positively  _ shuddered _ , and before Xehanort could say anything else Sora was leaning over the wheel and claiming the older boy's lips in a heated kiss. 

It might have seemed like a bit much, but in their defense doing anything on a ship like this one was the islander equivalent of going at it in the back seat of a cadillac. They couldn't  _ not. _

It was a heavy, desperate kiss, fueled by the fact that both of them were holding the ship steady between them. At least, until they got a little too preoccupied and the delicate balance was tipped, sending the whole boat veering and the wheel spinning their arms at odd angles. They parted and rushed to set themselves back on course, both still grinning stupidly as the hiccup only managed to deter them so much.

"Maybe we should… lay achor and inspect the rest of the ship? We're probably far enough out now." Is what Sora said. What he  _ meant  _ was 'let's find the hottest place in the ship to make out that's not the helm so we don't crash it.'

Fortunately, Xehanort heard  _ both _ messages quite clearly. "Yes. Let's…Do that." It was at that moment of ineloquence that Xehanort realized he was perhaps a little  _ too _ worked up. He cleared his throat. "Perhaps… We ought to hide our bounty somewhere between the isles first…"

Sora blinked, and then suddenly realized they were sort of just,  _ in the middle of the ocean _ , not a great place to lay anchor-  _ especially  _ in a stolen ship. "Ehehe… Right…"

***

They managed to park themselves in a small cove they hoped would prevent any unwanted attention while they were otherwise occupied. The time it took was at least sobering enough that they were now  _ actually _ investigating the ship, at least for now.

It wasn't huge, definitely smaller than the Pearl, but it was well built and well kept. There wasn't anything too interesting- they had intentionally targeted something they thought would have mostly gunpowder and defensive related stock and succeeded. There was hardly any food or drink, but that was likely for the best.

The biggest point of interest was easily the captain's quarters. It was well furnished, had a fancy chair they were definitely going to be messing around in later if Sora had anything to say about it, but most importantly was full of maps. Surprisingly they both managed to actually be responsible and spend some time pouring over them, plotting out courses and figuring out the most important places to check for potential temporal anomalies.

It was when they  _ left _ the captains quarters that they got back to shamelessly flirting.

"So,  _ admiral, _ now that we've mapped out the surrounding area and  _ my  _ new ship, I do believe we were in the middle of something…" Sora purred, doing his best to try and mimic what he thought was piratey way of being sultry. He circled around Xehanort before he'd made it more than a step onto the deck, stopping in front of him and lightly tugging on the edges of Xehanort's overcoat.

Xehanort smirked slowly at Sora's admittedly very effective attempt at seduction, more than happy to play along with the little game they had started earlier at the helm. "I do believe you're right." He purred back, trailing a single finger teasingly under Sora's chin. 

In the next moment Xehanort had Sora pinned up against the wall just as both of them had been fantasizing about since they'd changed earlier that day. Sora wasted no time in using the grip on Xeha's coat and the momentum of the flip to pull the other boy into a heavy kiss, parting for just a moment to tease "Taking charge?" And maybe he  _ shouldn't  _ be poking fun at the whole boundary setting conversation from that morning, but he wasn't exactly thinking things through at the moment.

Fortunately, Xehanort didn't it pay any mind. "If I recall, I made a promise to put a certain ornery pirate in his place." He retorted, earning quite the grin from Sora before claiming the smaller boy's lips once more. 

Sora was quick to slide his hands up Xehanort's chest and drape his arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Now with more experience Sora kissed with confidence, trying to take the lead despite being the one pinned against the wall. 

Sora's touches had been more sensual than Xehanort had been prepared for, and for a brief moment he found himself slipping into an uncharacteristically submissive role. But once all the signals finally reached his brain he started giving back everything he was getting and more. A hand immediately snaked into Sora's hair, knocking his hat askiew and pressing them even closer together while the other hand ghosted over Sora's waist as it disappeared under the boy's coat.

Sora shuttered, sinking further against the wall and pulling Xehanort with him. Somehow, more than anything it was Xehanort's finger tips trailing over his side and back that were driving him mad. It didn't make sense, even if it was under the leather coat it was still over a thick linen shirt, and yet somehow the feather lightness- the  _ tantelizingness  _ of the touch was causing heat to rush through him more than heady kisses or even being pressed so tightly up against the other boy. It made him want  _ more _ . 

For a moment Sora was wondering why he was being subjected to this prolonged limbo, but eventually he remembered the conversation from that morning again and that  _ he  _ had to be the one to do something if he wanted things to go much further. For some reason, the realization made him instantly nervous, and even more confusingly to him the anxiety didn't cancel out the horniness- somehow it coexisted with it in this weird mess of butterfly's in his stomach. But it wasn't like he wanted to start pulling their pants down or anything, just- you know, maybe grinding a little like the repressed teenager he- let's be real  _ both _ of them- were. 

All of which took at least 3 times longer to process than it should, because he was still at least trying to split his attention between his internal monologue and keeping up with the amazing boy kissing him senseless against the wall of the ship that they had stolen because apparently that was Sora's life now. Slowly but surely he managed to work up the nerve, and finally he tightened his arms around Xehanort's shoulders and carefully rolled his hips into the taller boy's thigh. 

Sora moaned instantly, all of his other movements stuttering as the feeling shot through him more intensely than he expected. After all, it's not like he'd never rutted against something before, he'd had his fair share of experiences with himself and his hands, but just the  _ heat _ of being with another person seemed to make it… more. In the same moment Xehanort gasped, having not expected-  _ especially _ given, or perhaps  _ despite  _ knowing Sora, the conversation they had that morning- for things to escalate so quickly, but here they were. And he couldn't quite find it in him to complain… 

"Well so much for not letting him have too much fun."

For a split second both boys were confused- Xehanort had heard Sora's voice despite the fact his mouth was  _ clearly _ occupied and Sora was far gone enough he had thought the words were his mind judging himself. But as soon as Xehanort broke the kiss to respond he realized, no, no that was not Sora speaking, and the second he connected those dots he'd jumped a foot away from the brunette in question. 

" _ Vanitas. _ " Unfortunately for Xehanort, it was extremely difficult to be intimidating while whipping your boyfriend's spit from the corner of your mouth. 

"Oh, by all means, don't stop on my account." The dark boy taunted, crossing his arms where he leaned against the mast. Xehanort glared. It did not help.

"Look, I'm almost actually sorry, but I just can't take you seriously while you're wearing that."

Sora, meanwhile, was just glad the focus wasn't on him as he tried to nonchalantly fold his hands over the burgeoning tent that had been happily forming in his pants until the interruption. He was  _ bright _ red, but at least he could try to hide under his hat…

Xehanort took a deep breath. "Why are you here, Vanitas?"

"Apparently, doing my brotherly duty of protecting Sora's honor-"

" _ Vanitas!" _

Vanitas snickered, but realized if he kept pressing buttons he'd push Xehanort a little too far. His expression evened into something serious. "I have an update on Larxene."

Sora and Xehanort shared a quick look, the former jumping forward from his previously guarded, embarrassed position against the wall. "Does that mean we figured out what's causing the time thing!?"

Unfortunately, Vanitas shook his head. "It's not her. As it would turn out, the reason she was losing her shit was because of her own, personal motivations."

"Which are?" Xehanort prompted, but Vanitas only looked off to the side as though he was contemplating whether or not to give them the answer. Xehanort continued to glare, which was met with Vanitas pointedly glancing at Sora in a rather blatant but silent message he wasn't so sure it was wise to explain in front of current company. Xehanort was unimpressed with this insinuation. "Just say it."

Vanitas sighed with disappointment. "She remembers the past."

Sora perked up at that. "Wait, you mean she also remembers the loops!?" But Vanitas shook his head.

"Not that past." That answer confused Sora enough he looked to Xehanort for answers.

At which point Xehanort was torn, not because he felt he couldn't tell Sora, but because the effect of what that information might have on a certain guest in the boy's heart if he overheard- which was very likely with Vanitas present. Suddenly Vanitas' hesitance seemed less petulant…

But even if Xehanort's hesitation was short, it was long enough for Sora to draw an unfortunate conclusion. The brunette deflated, his eyes trained on his boot as it pushed around brine on the deck. "...I mean, if it's organization stuff you don't have to tell me, I guess…"

"No- Sora, that was not my intention." Xehanort corrected quickly, taking one of Sora's hands as he tried to restore the poor boy's mood from the painfully pathetic betrayal it had devolved into. "What is relevant is that Larxene supposedly came to the Organization with amnesia of a certain part of her past, and apparently her strange behaviour is related to either a sudden recollection or more likely a long term play to hide knowledge related to that time. I am happy to tell you more, but we must wait for… a certain level of ensured privacy."

Sora listened intently, easily reassured as Xehanort explained and his earlier worries replaced with curiosity and questions about what Larxene was apparently hiding. It made enough sense, Xehanort said she and some of the others all had their own plans and reasons for things… Sora looked around a bit at the final warning Xehanort offered. They seemed alone, but then again Vanitas did just show up out of nowhere while they were- uh- preoccupied, so he had a point…

"And here I thought you were the one with the whip…" Vanitas chimed in helpfully. Xehanort glared, this time accompanied by Sora pouting.

"I'd be happy to reacquaint you." Xehanort threatened coldly. 

"Kinky." Vanitas was, unsurprisingly, unfazed. "Well, that's all I have for now. And since it looks like the show's over I have more important and more entertaining things to do." with that Vanitas pushed off the mast, turning to disappear into a dark corridor once again.

"Wait!"

Just as last time, Sora found an encounter with Vanitas moving too fast and coming to an abrupt end. Vanitas paused and looked behind him, raising a skeptic eyebrow at Sora's outburst this time. 

"Miss me that much?" For as sarcastic as his tone was it was almost a legitimate question.

Sora shrunk back at first, not entirely sure how to answer. "I- it's just, you can't just show up and drop all this bad news and then leave again! Aren't you going to help?"

"Help with what? Getting you off?" Vanitas replied, sounding unimpressed. Sora turned red and started sputtering, only saved by Xehanort cutting back in. 

"You know what he meant. Stop deflecting- or is the idea of someone actually seeking your company really too much of a shock for you."

Vanitas scoffed, but with how he turned his back to them again it was obvious Xehanort had hit the nail on the head. "Whatever. At least I  _ have _ news- I have my hands full keeping tabs on our side, why don't you two give being productive instead of reproductive a try for a change." And with that he finally stormed off through a corridor.

Xehanort sighed as he watched the dark boy leave, more than familiar with his particular band of lashing out. Unfortunately this was not the case for Sora, the brunette looking down guilty and embarrassed at his feet as he took what was really just a tantrum to heart.

"Sora…"

"No, he's right. We haven't done anything but make out and goof off for a day and a half! We're supposed to be dealing with something serious and I just keep getting distracted!" 

Xehanort reached a hand out to gently squeeze Sora's shoulder. The poor thing was taking on responsibilities that weren't his again… after a moment of consideration he finally said, "I'm sorry. It's my fault-"

"Stop protecting me!"

Xehanort was surprised by Sora snapping, his hand pulling back from the other boy's shoulder. Before he could say or do anything Sora was turning his back to him in frustration.

"...I now struggle with perceiving time as finite. That is all I meant." 

"Oh…" and that had Sora shrugging up and looking guilty again. "I'm sorry I-"

"Don't be." Xehanort interrupted. "I don't want to overcoddle you- you have every right to stand on your own. It would be remiss of me to rob the World of that." He meant every word, wanting nothing more than to provide the opposite of the smothering Sora had received from his other so called friends.

Sora finally turned to face him again, now with watery eyes. He didn't say anything immediately, instead slowly latching on to Xehanort's middle and burying his face in the taller boy's chest. After a moment he finally spoke.

"...I just wanna curl up in one of those hammocks and cuddle you for like a week…" it was wishful thinking, said with a tone that made it clear Sora knew they couldn't as much as he wished they could. 

Xehanort returned the embrace, carefully rubing Sora's back. "I know, dear." He said soothingly. "We can for at least the night, if that's any consolation."

He felt Sora nod into his torso before the younger boy peeled his face off the twill of Xehanort's waistcoat. It took him a moment, but Sora finally managed to look back up at Xehanort, now with an expression of determination.

"Alright. Let's find some leads!"


	10. Compare and Contrast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy's continue their search, Xehanort is haunted by a past that was more recent than it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG angst this chapter, you have been warned.
> 
> I was able to churn this one out real quick. Once again I'd like to thank everyone for your constant support here and for always telling me to take my time, I really appreciate it! I always wind up feeling a little bad when I take long breaks, but everyone's kind words make such a difference.

"Okay, so, let me see if I got it straight this time. Will keeps making deals with Beckett to try and save his dad from the dutchman. Elizabeth gets separated from everyone, but somehow winds up King of the pirates?? And Jack is trying to run away from Davy Jones, who is working for Beckett because Beckett has his  _ heart in a box,  _ and so he's  _ also _ trying to strike deals with Beckett, and also summon Calypso, who is actually Tia Dalma?"

Xehanort shook his head. "Almost. Barbosa is the one working for Calypso because she resurrected him."

Sora groaned. "Right, because he's a good guy now- sort of." His head thunked audibly against the wheel of the helm. "Why are all of their plans so complicated?" He whined. When he had asked Xehanort to explain the events that normally happened on this world he really hadn't been prepared for  _ this. _

Xehanort gave Sora a sympathetic look over his shoulder from where he was scouting on the rigging. "Unfortunately the politics of skullduggery are nearly definitionally complex, out of necessity."

Sora sighed again, but managed a bitter grin. "Speaking from experience?"

Xehanort laughed dryly. "I've already told you the state of the organization." He joked as a roundabout yes.

"Well, at least I think I got it now… after keeping thirteen yous straight you'd think I'd be used to this."

"It's much easier to keep track when experienced first hand than trying to sort it all out at once after the fact." That was  _ also _ Xehanort speaking from experience- the amount of informational catch-up he had played when first arriving in this time had been...  _ unpleasant. _

Sora hummed in agreement. There was a short pause, then Xehanort regretfully informed, "...that is also only the first half of events here."

"Wait  _ what!? _ " Sora whined.

"Well, two-thirds, maybe."

There was another groan and thunk against the wheel. "Ugh. Tell me later, my brain needs a break."

"Alright." Xehanort agreed, but with hesitance. After all, besides some of Sora's friend’s… less charismatic choices, the first half of the story was decidedly less… stressful. Explaining the fates of Will and Elizabeth would be… difficult. He wasn't looking forward to it, but getting it out of the way sooner seemed less messy. But Sora needed a break, so he would just… sit on it 

Keeping secrets was usually an easy task for Xehanort, but Sora was different. Sora had yet to give him a reason to keep things from him, unlike Eraqus. Besides, if nothing else he wanted to give Sora all the cards simply to spite the brunette's 'allies' who had manipulated him through similar secrecy.

One day he would point out how Yen Sid had committed quite the same 'crimes' his elder self had on that front, but now was not that time.

"We're approaching another isle. We should lay anchor soon and investigate."

"Alright." Sora agreed, sounding about as tired and frustrated as he was as he adjusted course. This world, apparently, was the most likely to have information on what was going on- if not a cause, than people and things that might be able to tell them about one. So they were being  _ thorough.  _ On paper sailing around and exploring uncharted islands would have been Sora's number one vacation and pass time, but guilt from Vanitas' accusations and a clock ticking away until time reset and he forgot everything happening managed to take the fun out of it, even for Sora.

At least the fact he felt like he was  _ allowed _ to be frustrated around Xehanort helped, and it was doing wonders for his dark magic training… at least he hadn't turned into a heartless again, for whatever that was worth.

Unfortunately, this isle was also a bust. Plenty of cool things like sunken ships and hidden treasures that Sora wound up feeling guilty for being excited about shortly after any such discoveries were made, but no magic artifacts or hiding hermits with secrets to share. They returned to the ship's cabin to plot their next course, maps once again splayed out over the captain's table.

"Alright, we've checked all of these. And based on what we've found so far, the next best place to check would be… here? Or-  _ ugh. _ " Sora scribbled angrily where he'd been tracing on the map.

Xehanort laid a hand on Sora's shoulder. "You're pushing yourself too hard." It was said gently, but bluntly.

"But-"

"You cannot help anyone if you become exhausted to the point of collapsing, regardless of the time you have. Though, on the subject of time, one would argue our current task is a marathon, not a sprint. You need to rest."

Sora's angry pout at getting interrupted slowly faded as Xehanort basically told him to take care of himself. He sighed, then dramatically flopped down on the desk. "Can't you like, stop time while we take a break?" It wasn't really a serious request, more just another way of complaining about the situation.

"I could, but the energy it would take would mean I would have to rest once time began to flow again regardless." There was a big difference between causing time to flicker for a few seconds in combat and holding it still for himself  _ and _ another person for a prolonged period, after all.

Sora groaned despite expecting the answer and remained face planted on the maps.

Xehanort sighed. "Alright."

"Alri- hey!" Before Sora could question anything he found himself being scooped up by Xehanort just long enough for the older boy to slide into the chair under him. It was- it was really nice actually, abruptly being cuddled in his boyfriend's lap like this, but it was also just… surprising. He'd aggressively cuddled Xehanort often, obviously, but he'd always been the one to initiate that, so he was just a little confused. Happy! But confused.

"You have to relax eventually, dear." Xehanort tried to assure, but as soon as the words left his lips he realized where they had come from. 

_ "You have to relax eventually, Xeha!" Eraqus scolded, practically sitting on the library table where Xehanort had been studying. _

_ Xehanort answered only with a noncommittal hum, Eraqus pouted rather loudly. _

_ "Oh come on, when's the last time you've taken a break?" _

_ Xehanort did not look up from his reading. "I'll take a break when I finish mastering this magic. And your concern would be more effective if it wasn't obvious you just want attention." It was a bit harsher than necessary, but Xehanort was tired of being interrupted. _

_ Eraqus' pout hardened into something closer to legitimate anger without turning into an outright glare. "I want to spend time with you because I care about you." He said shy of shortly, but with his next words his expression softened. "...When's the last time you've eaten?" _

_ Xehanort huffed, but contemplated the answer seriously. "...today." _

_ "To- Xeha! I meant how many hours ago, you can't skip whole days!" Eraqus reached over and slammed Xehanort's book closed. "You have to take better care of yourself! You won't be any help to anyone if you pass out from exhaustion!" _

_ "But-" _

_ "Nope!" Eraqus declared before Xehanort could say anything. In the next moment he had somehow moved from the table to Xehanort's lap in one fluid movement, squeezing the other boy in a tight hug. "You've lost your work privileges for the day, only rest now!" _

_ As Xehanort went to complain, he felt his stomach beat him to it. Eraqus gave him an unamused look and he couldn't quite keep the eye contact. Yes, Eraqus would come and check up on him often, but maybe he could admit Eraqus wouldn't have to if he took a little better care of himself… finally he sighed. "I can't get food with you pinning me to the chair." _

_ Eraqus responded with a smarmy grin. "Sounds like a personal problem to me." Punctuated with a kiss to his cheek. Xehanort tried to glare, he really did, but wound up chuckling despite himself. _

"Xeha?"

Xehanort was snapped out of the memory abruptly, looking down at Sora in his lap instead of Eraqus. Suddenly he was forced to acknowledge to many things, what should have been such a simple conversation now highlighting all the similarities between Sora and himself, Eraqus and himself, and worst of all Sora and Eraqus…

It was too much to unpack, to much for him to process in that moment, and so he decided to do one more thing as Eraqus would have and just ran away from the situation all together.

He accomplished this by kissing Sora, leaning in and letting the taste of the other boy wash all of the thoughts away. Sora didn't complain- didn't question anything at all and simply moved to wrap his arms properly around Xehanort's neck. It was easy to let himself get whisked away by Xehanort's kisses, and he still very much had wanted to have some fun in the fancy chair they were situated in. As long as they kept it short, things would be fine, right? Even just this much really was doing wonders for his nerves…

Or at least it was until there was a loud crash and the entire ship lurched, nearly knocking the two out of the chair in question.

"What the- was that cannon fire!?" Sora asked as he scrambled to right himself.

" _ Yes. _ " Xehanort answered, both boys rushing to get up and get on deck. As they burst through the doors they were met with the sight of a few small ships cruising by in firing range and one much larger a bit further out at sea. 

"Are- are those  _ heartless!? _ " Sora shouted over the sound of gunpowder. It was still a bit hard to see, but he was pretty sure those were the heartless driven ships Xehanort had mentioned would 'normally' appear here. Of course, having been told about it didn't make the sight any less strange…

" _ Really. _ " The irritated comment was directed at the situation rather than Sora's nearly rhetorical question. Xehanort stomped off to the edge of the deck, leaning over the rail.

" ** _Enough_ ** _ ! _ "

Xehanort's voice boomed unnaturally with magic, his eyes momentarily flashing a brighter yellow. The moment after the air was eerily quiet, and the heartless began to drift away back into the fog whence they came. 

Finally Xehanort sighed, turning back to Sora who had made his way back to the helm. "My apologies, I didn't think we would have to look out for them this close to shore."

"It's not your fault!" Sora called back. "You really weren't kidding about that being short range!" Xehanort had explained it, but seeing it happen was still different. Apparently if Xehanort didn't 'talk' to them first they'd still attack. Or maybe it was just because of the distance the ships caused? Either way it meant they were going to have to be more careful.

Xehanort shrugged. "It is what it is. What's the damage to the hull?"

"Not that bad. We're not taking on water or anything-" Sora began to answer, but then noticed that the larger ship in the distance was still there. "Is that ship not heartless?"

Xehanort had made it about half way up the stairs by the time Sora noticed the remaining ship. He didn't get very long to look before the answer presented itself.

"So the rumors are true."

"Luxord!" Sora exclaimed.

Xehanort leaned against the stair rails unimpressed by the pirate's flashy arrival. He glared at where Luxord had perched himself next to the central mast, but not before scanning the rigging for other eavesdroppers. "And what, pray tell, would those rumors be?"

Luxord took a few steps closer, but still maintained a safe distance. "That the impulsive hero has run off and  _ eloped _ with our own young Romeo."

Xehanort maintained an aloof facade at Luxords answer, but was internally somewhat relieved. For better or for worse, his and Sora's relationship was a very convenient cover for the task at hand. There was still a chance Luxord had gleaned a bit more than that, but the fact he was playing the card close to his chest with them meant it was unlikely he would show it to others.

Sora, however, was much less equipped to view any scrutiny of his personal business as beneficial. His fingers tapped against the wood of the wheel nervously and he looked off towards the island to try and hide his blush. 

"So what? You got a problem with that!?" Sora snapped back petulantly.

Luxord raised an eyebrow at Sora's response. "That depends. Does the hero finally fade to darkness, or does the story of the star crossed lovers once again end in tragedy?"

Immediately, Xehanort felt foolish for underestimating Luxord- he should have known better than to assume the man would be any less brash than this. But before he could speak Sora did, and fortunately with the objectively correct answer- "That's none of your business!" Which would be no answer at all.

"Is it now?" Luxord began, carefully shifting his gaze from Sora to Xehanort. "But then, what if the hero's light shone so bright it could even draw out the devil himself…?"

"You can't possibly be insinuating that I plan to betray  _ myself. _ " Xehanort deadpanned.

"Well, it doesn't seem too far fetched if you consider Vanitas running amuck." Luxord answered easily. Vanitas and Ventus were the  _ most  _ extreme and literal example of self loathing, after all.

Finally, Sora cut in again. "Why do you care!? You're just using the organization to get something else, right!?" This was  _ very much _ not a conversation Sora was emotionally or mentally prepared for. Somehow, he managed to find a way to stick up for Xeha even though he… couldn't say he wouldn't  _ love _ it if the older boy magically had a change of heart. But at the same time… he knew if he asked Xehanort to do something like that he'd probably be devastated so it… it just wasn't something he wanted to think about.

"And it is precisely because I am reliant on the organization that I care about it's integrity." Luxord returned. 

With that Xehanort had had enough. "You have no reason to antagonize Sora while he is in my custody, and your farcical preaching of loyalty to the cause is an insult  _ at best.  _ If you have another reason to be here I suggest you get to the point, lest I find a reason to remind you of your expendability."

Unfortunately for Xehanort, Luxord did not seem particularly rattled by the threat, if anything he seemed amused. "Good to know even a man like Xemnas was impetuous in youth." He retorted dryly, but wisely continued before either boy could comment. "Since you've been searching this world so thoroughly with your own hands, I'm sure you've kept a close eye trained for our mysterious box?"

Sora caught himself before he said anything out loud, but there was no way Luxord wasn't talking about what Maleficent and Pete had mentioned in Olympus, right? It sort of made sense the organization was also after it, he was just… well surprised they didn't already have it? With everything else that had happened it had sort of slipped his mind...

"I have better things to do than entertain Xigbar's pet project." Xehanort answered coldly.

"So you knew, then."

"You were the one who told Xemnas, why would you possibly think I didn't?" He deadpanned back. Though, it stung just a bit, because in all technicality he  _ hadn _ 't been told by Xemnas, it was just another thing he'd picked up on during the loops…

In response, Luxord gave a long, pointed look in Sora's direction before simply answering, "Politics."

Sora fidgeted awkwardly, and Xehanort took a deep breath. "And what about you, Vexen?" He finally asked. The scientist had his own particular brand of obnoxiousness, but anything was preferable than continuing to lose a verbal duel to  _ Luxord. _

Much to Sora's surprise, another corridor appeared on deck to reveal an absurdly tall blonde man who he… was pretty sure he'd never met before.

"Well, since you asked, I had presumed you would have shared in my curiosity to its contents. As a fellow man of science, of course." Vexen answered as though he hadn't just been caught spying.

And as far as Xehanort was concerned, that was the first reasonable thing anyone has said since this conversation had started. "I suppose you could say my curiosity was curbed given the…  _ dubiousness  _ of the information's source."

"Ha! Well, I can't say I can blame you for that." Vexen agreed. He had known Braig for  _ far _ too long. "And what about you, Sora?"

Sora startled slightly at suddenly being addressed. More and more he had begun to feel like an outsider in the conversation, and the physical distance between himself and Xehanort was only exasperating that. "Oh, uh, I mean- sorry, you're not bothered by the uh…" Sora glanced over at Xehanort at the peak of his eloquence. But really, everyone else in the organization had given him some kind of a hard time, so having this guy just ask him important stuff was… weird? 

Vexen scoffed. "I raised a teenager, it will take more the petty drama of a scandalous romance to distract me from my work."

"Uh… right…" Sora sort of looked back at Xehanort to gauge his reaction, and it seemed like this was just… how this Vexen guy was? It was probably better than getting heckled, but it still made him uneasy for some reason… "Well, I mean, it could be anything right?" And then Sora was finding himself struggling to find words because  _ all _ he could think was how whatever was in the box could be behind the paradox, but  _ obviously _ he couldn't say that now! "...Even if it's only one guy, if someone in the organization is after it, it's probably important, right? Er- no offence"

"None taken." Vexen answered. "In fact, that would be a sentiment with which I rather agree. Well done."

"Uh, thanks?" Sora responded awkwardly, suddenly feeling like he had given the right answer to a teacher on some kind of test.

"If that's all, I take it I can leave the brunt of that task to you?" Ironically, knowing Vexen was ultimately playing both sides made him an odd brand of trustworthy in this instance, certainly more so than Luxord. Vexen's one and true loyalty was to  _ science _ , so if he did manage to find the box and its contents- paradox related or no- it would become readily apparent and easy to track.

"But of course!" Vexen responded with a flourished bow. Just like that another corridor appeared and whisked the man away, leaving Luxord behind.

The pirate gave one last look at the two before settling his gaze on Sora. "Well, you can't win if you don't play the game." And with that ominous parting the man followed Vexen away.

"Well that… happened." Sora said dumbly. A little too much had happened for his brain to work right quite yet.

Xehanort finally finished his ascent towards the helm, quickly making his way back to Sora's side. He wrapped the boy in a tight hug before he said anything. "I'm sorry. We both should have been more prepared for that, I should have been more careful."

"It's okay, really." Sora tried to assure, hugging the other boy back briefly before pulling away enough to look up at him. "You keep apologizing for things, even when they're kinda out of your control. You don't gotta keep beating yourself up like that…" 

For once, Xehanort was left speechless. 

_ "Maybe if you could admit you were wrong just once in your life!"  _

It was just such the opposite of what he had been told and knew about himself up until that point. Eraqus' words rung stinging in his ears in direct contrast to what Sora had said, to what Eraqus himself had  _ also _ said-

_ "What happened wasn't your fault." _

It was the hypocrisy in Eraqus' words and actions that would inevitably drive them apart, surely. Always deciding when he was wrong and when he wasn't for him, saying in the same breath that he was being too stubborn and too hard on himself.

And now Sora had uttered much the same, and while he had yet to make a hypocrite of himself Xehanort couldn't help but find himself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He hadn't even realized he'd taken a step back until Sora questioned it.

"Xehanort?"

"...I just need a moment." He answered, abruptly turning and making his way back down to the main deck. Sora didn't know what to do- what he  _ had  _ done, and before he could tell the other boy to wait Xehanort paused just as abruptly, stopping at the top of the stairs and looking over his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Oh- okay?" Sora managed in his confusion. Xehanort was smiling at him, but it was just so…  _ sad.  _ And then it felt like he blinked and the boy was half way down the stairs, to the point he wasn't sure time powers hadn't been involved.

***

For the first 5 minutes Sora paced around nervously.

In the next half hour, he puttered around the ship awkwardly, fidgeting with rigging and filagree in the wood.

In the hour following that he set about repairing the haul, figuring it would be best to make himself useful in some capacity. He had half expected Xehanort to come out of the captain's quarters when he heard the noise Sora was making, but he didn't.

It was around hour 3 or 4 that Sora couldn't take it anymore.  _ Besides  _ the fact that at this point they were burning precious daylight, Sora just couldn't stand not knowing  _ anything.  _ What he did, or if Xehanort was okay, of if he was  _ mad  _ at him or- or  _ what.  _ But even if he was kinda mad now, he still didn't want to just… barge in. Obviously Xehanort-  _ Xehanort,  _ one of if not  _ the _ most powerful keyblade wielder in the World- was having some sort of… emotional issue? It wasn't like any other version of him seemed like the kind to just… hide in their bedroom when they had a problem. So for as annoyed as he was he was mostly just  _ worried. _

At least Sora had sort of dealt with something like this before. Riku hadn't done anything  _ exactly _ like this persay, but he had a habit of loudly declaring he just needed some alone time, or wandering off when everyone else was distracted and finding someplace quiet. Nowadays it was a lot more of the latter, where if he disturbed Riku it wasn't a big deal at all. But when they were younger and it was the former, he knew trying to make Riku talk to him just made things worse, so…

Sora managed to find some paper and ink below deck. He opted to just fold the letter and slide it under the door, giving the door a quick knock before going back to.. waiting.

***

Xehanort had long since taken to pouring over maps and planning with far more detail than necessary. He needed to be alone with his thoughts, but he also needed something that could completely occupy them when his mind decided not to cooperate. It was a tedious process, but it was what worked, so he toiled away while he tried to sort out anything and everything that had to do with  _ Eraqus. _

But then, there was a knock at the door.

He was surprised the sound wasn't followed by the door opening, and it took him a moment to notice the small slip of paper resting on the floor. Ever curious, he rose to inspect it.

It was a note, written in scratchy handwriting by someone who was obviously unaccustomed to using an ink well pen.

_ Hey Xeha, _

_ I didn't want to bother you too much in case you still need time and stuff, but it's been a few hours and I'm just worried about you. I don't know if you're mad at me, but if you are whatever I did I'm really sorry. If you tell me what it was I'll try not to do it again. I mean when you come out and stuff, I don't wanna rush you. But also, just so it doesn't surprise you I'm probably going to get the ship moving soon if you need more time and stuff. Take care of yourself and let me know if you need anything. _

_ ❤️💕Sora _

Xehanort read the note through at least 5 times, following the curves of Sora's handwriting and taking note of how many times Sora repeated the phrase 'and stuff'. It was honestly one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him, and more importantly was in sharp contrast to how Eraqus would have handled him withdrawing into himself like this. Really it was the first time someone had actually given him space when he asked for it…

But he tried not to take too long fawning, as what he had thought had been a short break had apparently been  _ hours _ . Nevermind Sora thought he was mad at him, that needed to be righted immediately.

He opened the door, and much to his surprise Sora was sitting on the deck just next to the moulding. He jumped when the door opened.

"Oh! Sorry- I didn't- I thought you'd take longer…" Sora rambled awkwardly.

Xehanort shook his head. "It's alright. I should apologize- I didn't realize the time."

Sora was about to crack a joke about he guy with time powers losing track of time, but then he remembered what Xehanort had said before. ' _ I now struggle with perceiving time as finite. _ ' Suddenly Sora felt guilty for being frustrated he was taking so long, and was beating himself up for not checking on him sooner…

Before he could say something, Xehanort sat next to him on the floor, still holding the note in his hand. "Thank you, again, truly."

Sora blinked up at the other boy, unable to help but ask, "...what for?"

Xehanort looked just a touch surprised by the question, as though it were obvious, but then realized it wasn't. "...no one else has ever been willing to be so… patient with me."

And then Sora looked surprised. "Really?" He flopped back against the wall, looking out at the sea in front of them. "No wonder you made a team of all you then."

Xehanort snorted despite, once again, something being a joke on what should have been a too sensitive subject-  _ especially _ given Sora wasn't entirely wrong.

"Riku used to do stuff like that too, it's not really a big deal." Sora continued to explain. Of course, at the mention of Riku Xehanort's smile fell a hair. Once again the 'dark hero' proved to have gotten everything he wanted but never had…

Rather than dwell, Xehanort changed the subject, reaching his free hand out to take Sora's. "I'm not mad at you, I promise."

Sora was visibly relieved, squeezing Xehanort's hand back and leaning against his shoulder. "Well that's good!" Which it was, but there were still many things to be anxious about. After all, Xehanort removing himself had come  _ right _ after they had both been forced to acknowledge their… different sides. There was enough paranoia springing from that alone, but at the same time it felt like something they could talk about directly…

"Can I… Ask what happened then? Do you not get along with those guys in the organization or something?" Sora asked instead.

"It wasn't anything like that." Xehanort began, avoiding the obviously more difficult part of the question. Unfortunately he was  _ also _ painfully aware of the implications of Luxord's words and the timing, so he would… Have to say  _ something _ . He just… wasn't sure he could manage talking about Eraqus yet, no matter how long he'd spent cooped up.

"...What you said just happened to remind me of someone from my own time." He phrased it carefully, trying to explain without actually giving much away. "...The same person who would have barged in to that cabin hypocritically insisting I was running from problems I was simply trying to process in a more controlled environment…"

"Oh…" a lot of things clicked for Sora then, suddenly hyper aware he had never really considered the people from Xehanort's past. He had become such a fixture in this time, he had forgotten that  _ his  _ Xehanort had an entire life waiting for him back in his own. It… made him sad. In a way it was something even more damning of their relationship than the war…

"...were you close?" Sora finally asked. It sounded a little like how he and Riku would fight when they were closer to 11 or 12. Xehanort seemed like such a private person, but at the same time he just felt so guilty for not asking to know more about him he figured this was the least he could do.

Xehanort hadn't been prepared for Sora to ask him point blank- or maybe he had, and the gamble was simply how he had justified continuing to keep quiet to settle his guilt. He had to say  _ something _ now, but saying  _ everything _ would surely be too much.

"He is-" he began, the tense chosen specifically because Eraqus hadn't-  _ wouldn't  _ be his ex for some time as he had realized that morning, but he was making the decision  _ now _ , actively putting his foot down for the sake of moving forward… only to remember that Eraqus was  _ dead _ , and so, "was, my ex."

" _ Oh. _ " And  _ that _ put several more pieces in place for Sora. No wonder Xehanort had just walked off! That would have been terrible for anyone, let alone whatever strained time travel related stress Xehanort was obviously dealing with if the way he rephrased things was any clue. "I'm sorry. And I'm sorry he wouldn't give you your space- he sounds like a big jerk."

Xehanort's gut reaction was to defend Eraqus, which of course ended in more guilt bearing down on him. It compelled him to be honest about at least  _ something.  _ "You said something very sweet- he used to say things like that as well, but then would turn around and claim I wasn't taking enough responsibility."

The hypocrisy came from Eraqus confusing ideals and philosophy and morals. Looking back- and forward- the things Eraqus demand he take 'responsibility' for, they were his own ideals and philosophies that to Eraqus were the same as a moral fallacy. Things weren't his 'fault' if Eraqus thought he had acted with moral clarity, but they were when it was simply Xehanort fighting for beliefs that were too radical. Perhaps if Eraqus had been able to realize how fundamentally different they were a little sooner things wouldn't have been as bad…

"...I guess that's why you apologize so often." Sora interrupted Xehanort's thoughts.

"...Do I really?"

Sora nodded. "Not until after we started dating, I think… but maybe a little before that too. Not in the Realm of Sleep though."

Xehanort hummed. "Well, I have more than enough reasons for a guilty conscious, as you can imagine." Which he truly did, even if most of it didn't come from the things Sora would surely assume.

Sora didn't say anything- he felt like anything he  _ could _ would only make things worse. He was so tired of thinking about the stupid war… so instead he squeezed Xehanort's hand and even cuddled closer to him.

Xehanort pressed a kiss to Sora's hair where it poked out from his hat as the brunette cuddled close. This had all been far more trying than necessary, but unfortunately they still had work to do. "Perhaps it's time we return to the task at hand, love."

Productivity was a welcome distraction to the heavy air for both of them. "Yeah."

***

The day came and went with the investigation of even more of the local isles to much the same results. They spent the night cuddled together in a hammock as promised.

Once again Xehanort dreamed of Eraqus.

"He'll never love you like I do, you know."

Eraqus sat smugly on the sil next to Xehanort, invading the boy's space where he had been peacefully gazing out the window.

"Of course not. I'm sure he'll do a much better job." Xehanort deadpanned. Eraqus was not amused.

"He won't even  _ say _ it! Not to mention he's supposed to  _ kill _ you."

Xehanort glared outright. "That is actually the most hypocritical thing you have ever said." He all but spat. 

Eraqus huffed indignantly. "Well  _ excuse me _ for not wanting you to  _ die _ ."

Xehanort didn't even dignify that with a response, giving one last glare before trying to turn back to the window.

"I can't believe you called me your ex."

Xehanort felt his brow twitch. "You  _ are _ my ex."

Eraqus narrowed his gaze, but it quickly turned into a smirk. "That's not what you said last night."

That got Xehanort to look at him again. "That was a  _ dream _ ."

"Says the Xehanort who made his stake in the Realm of Sleep." Eraqus countered smugly.

"That is  _ different _ and you  _ know _ it is you  _ intolerable- _ " Xehanort cut himself off, trying to calm down.

Eraqus only continued to absolutely  _ radiate _ cockiness. "And he definitely still has his gag reflex- just saying."

"There are things more important in a relationship than  _ sex. _ " 

"Oh, you mean like not lying about killing your other boyfriend?"

Xehanort shut up at that, shrugging his shoulders and drawing his knees closer to his chest.

"...I didn't lie-"

"A lie through omission is still a lie,  _ dear. _ " Eraqus leaned closer. "And calling me your  _ ex _ isn't even that."

Xehanort grit his teeth. "You  _ are _ my ex." Then he turned to face Eraqus properly. "I'm breaking up with you. It's over. I'm not putting up with your holier than thou bullshit and hypocrisy anymore. I'm making the decision  _ now _ and your just going to have to deal with it."

Eraqus blinked slowly, his face unreadable. "...Sure. You gonna tell him you broke up with me in a dream before or after you tell him about the wet dream with you so called 'ex'?"

"Well Eraqus, unlike you Sora has a little thing called  _ reason. _ " Xehanort snapped back. Eraqus scoffed.

"You're lucky I love you so much. When he realizes how awful you are I'll still be here to take you back."

"Get off your damn high horse."

"I'm not on one, I'm just reminding you I'll love you until the day I  _ die. _ "

Xehanort hugged his knees, suddenly fighting off tears. This wasn't his Eraqus- for all that they had fought they had never been  _ this  _ cruel to each other- at least not yet.  _ This _ was little more than a nightmarish amalgamation of his every guilt and fear, to the point he half expected the other boy's eyes to turn red and back to sprout wings. But as they'd determined, this wasn't the Realm of Sleep, and this Eraqus wasn't the kind of nightmare he could strike down with a blade.

Not that he would have it in him if it came to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna reiterate, even if it technically says it in the story text, that nightmare!Eraqus is not reflective of actual Eraqus' personality. I am irrationally paranoid of losing my 'everyone seems so in character!' streak XD
> 
> Look forward to some fluff next chapter to balance out the hard hits in this one. (and then also some more angst but its fine >>)


End file.
